I buried my daughter’s cremains August 1. She died on March 2, 2011. I buried her cremains in obedience to a strong prompt from the Lord in a grave I had purchased over a year ago and which has a headstone with both our names on it. In attendance, at my invitation, five strong prayer warriors, a saintly priest to lead us in the rosary, myself and her father. None of his family showed up.
Now, today, he tried to make an excuse as to why his other daughter (from first marriage) was not present. He said it was her tenth anniversary and then something about they had gone somewhere. Problem is: at first I didn’t believe him; then I did some internet work and found out she had been married some time in July 2003. My daughter, her sister, was not invited to that wedding. We didn’t even have one idea it was taking place.
So I am angry. I am not angry that she may have had long term travel arrangements (air travel, hotel, etc.) that could not be changed (without huge economic hardship, the airlines are unforgiving). I am angry that she chose to ignore it altogether, to not even send a note to me, or have flowers sent to the cemetery. I’m also angry that she allowed her Dad to go through this alone. He had a very long drive in extremely heavy rain (which caught up with us here in Ulster County right after the rosary was finished). He has spent a great deal of effort on “stuffing” the horror of this loss for almost 2-1/2 years and really suffered at the grave site. He then reported to me that on Thursday, during the drive, his stomach became upset with “cramping” (not intestinal) and has remained that way. He is nauseous and has chest pain. What does that suggest? I told him to go to the ER. His other daughter never gave one thought to letting her Dad do this alone nor does she give one thought to her sister (whom she was informed had been diagnosed with a severe mental illness back in 2010) or to me, for that matter.
I confessed what feels like “hate” today for that entire side of the family. I do not want those people to get between me and the Lord nor do I intend to allow my eternal salvation to be affected by it (God forbid). I sang the 5PM Mass today, I sang two hymns that are special to me for the help of Our Lady and the Lord that I received to get through this ordeal, but during the Mass I kept getting MUGGED, "heard’ accusatory things, fought the anger, prayed to my Blessed Mother who told me to PUT IT ASIDE. So now I am trying to do that. My confessor said I should pray for those people and use the prayer he taught me “Don’t let the garbage in my head enter my will” and I am trying but I am reeling from last Thursday, I am in terrible emotional condition, and the fact that her own sister would totally ignore this (HOW MANY TIMES IS YOUR SISTER BURIED AFTER ALL), not even send a note, an email, flowers…God help me I need your prayers.