Struggling with Gluttony // dishonoring parents

I should preface this by saying that while I am skinny to the point of seeing my ribs, I still consider myself somewhat gluttonous

I beleive this has become a sin of mine because A. While I’ve been improving on this, I eat way to fast, B. I eat too much or at least not healthily, and C. In planning what I am to eat, food is just on my mind and it even interupts my prayer. For context, I usually have 3 generous meals a day (for instance, breakfast is 2 buttered and jellied peices of toast, a banana, a cup of milk, and a KIND bar, lunch is 2 slices of pizza, a side of grapes and cantaloupe, and dinner, because I work late, is either something from Wendy’s or whatever is in the vending machine.) Where it really becomes an issue is in voluntary fasting. Like just today, I tried to go on one hoagie and a water (to obey my parents while I personally was looking to undertake the Medjogoure fast, which is bread and water). This shouldn’t bave been a problem since my Friday fast is an absolute no consumption fast, but I couldnt resist a second bottle of water. And in trying to concentrate on prayer, the thought of my next meal enters my mind and I feel like Satan is just using food as another means to blind me from Jesus.

Also, I attend Sunday mass and go to confession immediately before in order to recieve the Eucharist worthily, and then I plan to go home and just not unnecessarily travel, and spend the day dedicated to the Lord. However, my family wants me to go out on the boat. I dont want to because, if nothing else, it just takes my focus off of God and I feel that it is so fun because its taking His day away from him. Of course, I can refuse, but if I do, I dishonor my parents, so its like I’m taking divine mercy for granted and, even if I do return to a state of Grace, I immediately fall back into sin. I feel like my only choice is, while I have been trying to become poor in spirit, I must move out of my parents house (I’m 19) and just get an apartment and face some hardship of my own, then at least I can live in solitude and dedicate myself to the Lord. I would try to talk more of it to my family, but they just don’t see it like I do in how I strive for devotion to God.

Any thoughts?

Also, sorry if this is under the wrong topic

Your spiritual life is completely out of balance and unhealthy.

Get a spiritual Director and don’t undertake severe mortification without being under spiritual direction.

You aren’t describing gluttony, you are describing a spiritual regimen that will do a lot of harm.

Sounds like you have some serious misconceptions, at best, and scruples, at worst. Speak to your pastor!

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In addition to discussing with your priest as 1ke said, aspects of your post sound like you are at risk for developing an eating disorder. If you can’t resolve this with your priest alone, please consider seeing a mental health counselor who specializes in eating disorders.

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Yeah I think if a spiritual regimen is causing this much consternation, it’s time to start with a different approach.

Maybe start with a daily rosary and talk to a priest from there. And really if you’re 19, there’s nothing wrong with having a big appetite.

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It’s easy to see you want to love and please God, but reading your post is painful. You must be exhausted and discouraged. Enjoy your family, enjoy your food, those are both holy things. We are not Puritans.

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I will repeat the advice given by other posters here.

You need to undertake mortifications under the direction of a spiritual advisor.

I’m certain that once you are able to obtain a spiritual director, he will advise you to obtain permission from your doctor regarding fasting.

Mortifications aren’t supposed to damage your health.

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God does not begrudge us fun and relaxation.

As others have already said, please discuss this with a priest. This is not a healthy attitude.

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