The Peace of Christ be with you.
This post may come across as a bit blasphemous, since it seems like I’m trying to go against the Church. Not so. I love the Church and her Teachings, I’m just penning down my thoughts and feelings, candidly at times, asking for advice and feedback.
We are trying to be the best possible Catholics, so we are practicing natural family planning.
We can only make love on “green sticker days”, so we count the days on a big chart.
Now, my “drive” is rather high, so I look forward to these days. But between them, I get more and more frustrated, as the time goes by.
We have some good times, kissing and hugging when we cannot make love, but sometimes that gets me quite frustrated too. The few days before green stickers, it’s all I can do to get my mind off of it. And, of course, being Catholic I’m not allowed to pleasure myself, or look at any provocative pictures or anything, so I’m really, umm…like a kid on Christmas eve, shall we say.
Adding to this, my wife’s drive is not that high, so when the first available day comes around, she is not rearing to go like I am… tiredness, etc all comes between, so that in reality we only get to make love maybe 3 or 4 days into the available days. Sometimes we do not even do it, so the window is lost. That makes me grumpy, but I cannot talk about it, since that would send her on this guilt trip and her excuses are that it’s tough caring for a toddler.
She is also very shy since becoming Catholic, so the sex is very simple. For a period of time, she even told me she doesn’t want to be intimate with me any more since it feels wrong.
So, anyway, the big night comes. We get intimate. Like I said it’s very simple, I stimulate her so that she can be “ready” and then we do it. End of story.
It leaves me feeling rather unfulfilled, to say the least.
Also, since I have been “dry” for about a month, it’s not the longest intercourse ever recorded.
And, like I said above, pleasuring myself is out of the question.
I do think (Very blasphemous thought, this) that pleasureing myself would help though, firstly by getting rid of my frustration, and secondly by making me last longer in bed, (proven fact), so that when we actually get around to doing it, it’s not over so quickly.
I wouldn’t want to even think about doing it, Mortal Sin you know, but I can see it having some merit.
So, is this how life is for a Catholic husband and father? I try to help as much as I can around the house, I get home from a really crazy job, and try to help. I feed, bath, play with and put the baby to sleep, but still the excuses: “I’m tired, had a busy day, I just want to sit”.
I have crazy days almost every day too, but I want to be intimate with my wife. I want to feel the love and the physical show of affection, and also the physical need plays a big part…
Any advice or feedback on my feelings, it’s been going on for quite some time now, and I realised that it’s about time I ask for some advice.