Having been there myself, the most important point is to not give up! Secondly, I would get some of the works of people like Drs. Anna Terruwe and Conrad Baars on healing the unaffirmed, there could be some real valid psycholgical reasons why you keep repeating this problem. These two psychiatrists based their practices on the mingling of science and the philosophy and spiritual theology of Thomas Aquinas.
Are you suffering from depression? The reason why I am asking this is because, if you have any neurotic tendencies (as I did) until you come to the understanding that God loves you as His child, and that what you do must proceed from the fact that you are a prince of Heaven, the problem will keep on going. I had to learn how to finally admit (like many in the twelve step programs do), that without God, I could do nothing.
Also, stop watching the mass media and be very careful about what you are reading on the internet. I found out that I had a bipolar condition, but I did not accept much of the current psycho-babble that says you cannot be healed. I was healed by the Holy Spirit, but only after I looked to Jesus as my model for what it is to be a man, and not to people like those who appear on their own talk shows or on PBS. Hook up with groups like The Amator League, which seeks to affirm you in your masculine spirituality. You can find this group if you look up Fr. Phillip Chavez.
In my own parish we have just started a men’s spirituality group which is meant to pray together and to attack tough problems, such as this one. Keep visiting Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. Rather than seeing yourself as a terrible sinner, see your self as a child of God and a giver of the Holy Spirit.
Satan wants you to be ashamed of your humanity, do not let him succeed in making you believe that this trial cannot be overcome.
Get involved working with the poor, and do not isolate yourself too much. When you focus on giving to others, you will concentrate less on yourself, and your tendencies will lessen.
Turn to Our Lady, with all your heart! Consecrate yourself to her. She who is not only the Immaculate Conception is also the spouse of the Uncreated Immaculate Conception, Who is the Holy Spirit. I made my consecration in my early twenties and, although I fell numerous times, she always drew me back! She never gives up on her children and remember, we are in a spiritual battle! If you are wounded or weakened, get back up and fight!
We do not fight with guns, spears and arrows, however, we fight with the Love of God, Who is the Holy Spirit.
At any rate, once I stopped seeing God the way I saw my earthly father (who was very conflicted and unhappy), I fully submitted to Him and it was in my sinful self that He found me, and slowly healed me.
I wrote “slowly,” because I did slip a few times during the healing process. The final healing did happen during a healing Mass celebrated at my parish. It was nothing spectacular, and the Holy Spirit is very gentle.
One thing Our Mother Mary keeps telling me in the interior life is to “slow down.” In this world of almost instant everything, remember, we must learn to operate on God’s time, not our own. Look at it this way, is there some area of your life that would tend to make you proud if you were able to overcome this problem area of yours?
I found out that much of my false relgiousity was keeping me from admitting that I had a big problem. Also, never fall into the trap that you are unworthy (this is a ploy used by the evil one to keep you from going to confession and seeking help) . And, keep going back to the same priest, who will work with you. I remember going from parish to parish, because I felt so embarassed and I did not want anyone to know about what I did.
I will pray for you brother, as I have nothing but compassion for you, because I have been there my self. Please ask the Holy Spirit to dispose you to work with His Grace. Amen.