Forgive me if this is the wrong place to inquire about this…
I am historically Protestant but have never really agreed with the doctrines.
In searching for the Church, I investigated the Catholic church, decided not to do RCIA and went and became a catechumen in the Orthodox church. I made it through several months and then one day, alarm bells went off in my head about the veneration of icons. Since Jesus has two natures, being fully God and fully man, his depiction only shows His human side, not His spiritual one, so I felt I was not worshipping in truth and in spirit. I felt I was violating the 2nd commandment of not having graven images. I bailed on being Orthodox.
Fast forward a year and I have not been to church – any church – and I have been researching and researching and I feel lost. I understand the nature of the relationship between the Catholics and the Orthodox and the reasons for why they are not in unity. While I am somewhat uneasy with the Filioque, I understand it is more of a semantic thing after reading some of the earlier church father’s writings on the subject.
I do not know which way to turn. I have spoken to priests and lay people from both sides of the fence and they both claim to have the truth. I believe the Church is one and there should be unity.
I cannot be Protestant after knowing what I now know. The Orthodox icon thing freaks me out because I feel like an idolater. Some Catholic theology makes me a bit uneasy. My wife is a former cradle Catholic and refuses to even look back at the idea of rejoining the RCC. It’s a theological thing for her – typical Protestant/Evangelical issues. I share some of her concerns, but not near enough to stop my research.
Needless to say, I research, seemingly in vain. I pray and ask God for clarity and don’t seem to be getting any. Perhaps I’m doing something wrong. Priests and lay people from both camps defend their own camp without much detail that a guy like me needs. The Orthodox throw out the Filioque and the Catholics throw out the Saint Peter and the Keys thing. I feel like I’m car shopping when I’m not. I feel awkward and uneasy in my search and because my decision affects my eternal soul and that of my family, I’m worried and unable to make a clear decision. Help, please. Perhaps someone here, by the grace of God can shed some light on something someone else has not.