Hello, I was raised Catholic consider myself to be Catholic maybe even devout. When desperate, alone and depressed I will usually find myself in a Church and in prayer. During my debauched and alcoholic college years I went to Mass everyday (the healthy don't go to hospitals). No matter were I have been I have always considered the Church home it was my safety net. I not always been very good at the practicality of being Catholic but I have always believed. That being said I have fathered 3 children out of wedlock the oldest is 28 was adopted and last I heard hoped I would rot in hell the youngest 2 are 13 and 11. They live with me and my wife, not their mother although she is close by and a whole story in itself. The 13 yr old is Baptised the 11 yr old is not. There is a reason and this is were I struggle. My problem is the power that is wielded by those in the church. She wasn't refused Baptism. But it was an incident at a Baptisim "class?" that seemed to put me over the edge.
Let me clarify I am from the Boston area and I am a Police Officer in the Boston area. Growing up I was very involved in the Catholic Church and CYO. My daughter was born just as the big sex scandle was breaking in Boston. As the scandle began to conflagrate the lists of accused Priests began to be released I was shocked and horrified by how many I knew (about 9). Now I wasn't one who was molested I wouldn't have been considered an easy target I come from a big stable family. And as these names were released I can remember calling old friends "did he touch you?" The answer was usually no I can remember Sister Clair my mothers best friend from high school and principle at my Grammar school telling me and my cousins to never be alone with Father ----------. Reading that she was told to shut up and stop being a meddeling woman was upseting. These criminals didn't touch me or my friends but one got one of my sisters friends.
I was heartbroken by the whole scandle.
But, as this was happening I was attempting to have my daughter Baptised. I was informed I had to go to a Baptism Class. I had been though a similar class with my son and asked if I could be exempt as it would be very difficult due to my work schedule and child care issues. The answer of course was no my son had been Baptised in a different church. So off to the class we went. Now my son who was 2 1/2 and non-verbal (we learned later he had aspergers syndrom) had to come with us. The boy was a little disruptive, I thought he would be I explained that he would be and that we didn't have child care for him hence why I wished to be exempt. There was a young priest at this class. Now you have to understand a 2 yr old who can't speak learns about his enviroment in a different way he touches, touches alot and explores alot we knew this and did our best to contain him. But as anyone who has an active 2yr old can understand it didn't go so well. I could see this Priest getting frustrated I apolgized and did my best to contain my boy. At one point my son ran past this Priest who grabbed him by the arm gave him a little shake and through gritted teeth told him to behave. At which point I picked up my son took my daughter and told thier mother we were leaving. I will state right now the only thing that kept me from breaking that Priest's arm was his collar. I understand my son was disruptive I understand he was distracting, he was also 2 and I had this beforehand. When I tried to address it with my Parish Priest- "oh I heard about that it seems your son needs discipline". I kept my mouth shut but truthfully I am not keen on childrearing advice from someone who does not have children. A couple of weeks later I again tried to address it explaining that I tried to address the issue before hand he had no right to touch my son and he again just seem to blow it off. My daughter has not been Baptised I find it difficult to attend Mass. I cannot seem to find a Priest who will discuss it with me. I am angry. These criminals took away someplace I allways belived to be safe. This Priest seem to think it is okay to touch another mans child and his superior would not address it. The days of "Ask Forgiveness not Permission" are long gone. I believe now is the time they need to ask for both. The coverup over this horrifies me I understand about Brotherhood I am a Cop we get it we know what Brotherhood is but there are limits to protecting eachother and lines that are not crossed. It seems the Church dosn't like to draw the lines in the sand. I am trying to comeback I am trying to forgive but want some answers even if it is we screwed up bad. Can anyone help me with this?