Struggling

I feel like my soul is slowly dying. I am a Catholic. I was born and raised a Catholic in the UK and am now in my late 20s. From the age of about 14-20 I probably would have described myself as atheist/agnostic but something changed for me around the time of a sort of chance visit to a Cathedral around the time of the passing of JP2 and I began to again feel God’s love and regain strength in faith.

This strengthened over the next few years and when working in a stressful job, in a city, where I knew few people, I looked to God for support and began to attend mass more regularly than I had done at any point since my childhood; I felt like I had ‘come home’ to God.

Recently, I seem to be going through a difficult patch. I haven’t been to mass for around a year, having got out of the habit (easy solution there I guess), but I also seem to be falling into a world of soul decay… Regular, self-destructive use of porn, doubts about my faith, not being a good boyfriend/son/brother… all of this at a time where I need to be strong… My gf’s mum is about to go through chemo and both my gf and her mum (good Catholic people) are slightly struggling with their faith as a result, and finding it difficult to pray. Also, my gf is actually now my fiance and we are planning to marry in a Catholic Church and meeting her priest to discuss in the next couple of weeks. I feel that I need to address my own personal issues to prepare myself for this holy sacrament.

I don’t really know why i’m posting all this, but it feels better to get it out there…

So sorry to hear that you are struggling! Your post made me very sad.

I am not Catholic, so perhaps you should take my advice with a grain of salt…

I would look to the reason you stopped going to mass. Did you get caught up with work? Your girlfriend? Maybe you just became proud and thought you didn’t “need” to go. I would repent of this sin first. As far as the the other sins you spoke of… they are a symptom of the initial problem. Repent of them, of course, and get back on the good track you were on.

Your depression is a positive thing. It’s telling you that you are off the good path the Lord set you on. The good news is… now you know! :slight_smile: God Bless!

I went through periods where I didn’t go to Mass for two or three months at a time. You need to get to confession. Maybe you could volunteer at a local parish. If you have obligations at Mass, like being a lector or whatever, then it gives you another reason to go and you are held accountable for not showing up for your volunteer duties. I know that helped me.
Start going to confession often, every two weeks or once a month. Especially to give up pornography. If you are going to get married soon, please know that pornography can and will ruin your marriage. Does your gf know about you using pornography? If you really love her and you want to be a good husband to her then pornography has to be stamped out entirely. If you need to, then tell her about it and let her be the one you are accountable to for it or if not her then a confessor or something like that. I might seem dramatic but it is a very grave matter.
Start praying daily. Even just three hail mary’s a day. Do Spiritual Reading. Fill up your mind with good spiritual things instead of pornography or regular TV or music or whatever it is you go to to be entertained.

numerous are your failures, but I had foreseen all of this, before even I announced My Message to you; but I have given you, in My immeasurable Love I have for you, a place in Me, where in that particular place I could bring your soul in the perfection I demand of My saints; ah, Vassula, overflowing clemency is Me, fathomless love is Me, and yet, you still know Me so little, My dove; why these obscure thoughts of Me? everything I have is yours and forever; 2 be then of good cheer and spare Me from this unnecessary Cup; the Word of Life was given to you freely so that you, in your turn, give it freely to the others; I had a pattern in My Work, as you see, and I want you to keep doing all the things you have learnt from Me and have been taught to do in My Name;
Please read the messages True Life IN God (TLIG.ORG) Christ and our Blessed Mother will guide you. The Holy Spirit is powerful and all the words in these messages are spirit anointed by our Creator.
Stay Blessed

You are not alone in any of what you are experiencing, many of us have failed in our Mass attendance and faithfulness to our Church teachings. Fortunately, we have the wonderful and cleansing opportunity of Reconciliation. Many people have faith issues when they are experiencing troubles such as your girlfriend’s mother, just when their need their faith the most. It’s this time when turning yourself over to God’s care completely will enhance and strengthen your faith. I would urge you to do what it takes to get back to where you need to be and then you will be able to provide the spiritual and emotional strength for your future wife and her family. Don’t think about it just step forward and start down the path that will bring you back to where you want to be and need to be. I will pray for all of you.

Memorare

REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

My prayers for your fiancee’s mother and the family in this stressful time.
Our dear Lord please flood Your graces upon them.
Lord help them to understand that illness isn’t caused by You, but that You will bless and support them through this time.
Lord please give strength of renewed faith and faithfulness to this young man who is struggling. Bless him with the determination and grace to thoughtfully give kindness and support to his fiancee and her family.

The Prodigal Son return to the welcome of his father. God grant, so will you, trusting in God’s love and mercy.

Please, please do NOT get drawn into the Vassula sect. Her claims about her relationship with her own Eastern Orthodox Church and the Catholic Church are untrue. Please see the links below, especially the first one

vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20070125_vassula-ryden_en.html
ewtn.com/library/curia/cdfrydn1.htm
catholicculture.org/culture/library/view.cfm?recnum=10013
catholicculture.org/culture/library/view.cfm?recnum=10013

To Believer691, may I respectfully suggest speaking to your Catholic priest to discuss your association with this sect. If you are not willing to do that, could you consider having the honesty to put your religion down as the Vassula Ryden Sect. Meanwhile, I will pray for you.

Sorry OP, I had to post this.

I found, during the 12-13 years I was not going to Church/Mass, that I basically didn’t have the grace to even avoid many sins.

When coming back and (necessarily) going to Reconciliation, I was astounded at how many and how grievous were the sins I committed while outside the Church as compared to the times when I was regularly attending.

So, I say you should go to Reconciliation ASAP and begin regular Mass attendance for the graces you want and say you lack.

In times like this rmemember, as you do, when you felt home in God and when you felt his love. As others say here, when things are arid, keep, as best you can, to the habits of going to Mass and prayer which you adhered to when things were going well.
This period WILL pass, like fog eventually lifting.
Blessings,
John

If it feels better to get it out there, it will feel better to take it to Jesus in the confessional where he will forgive you and be done with it. What a relief that will be. It is easy and it would please Jesus so much.

It isn’t just for yourself but also for the person intended that you love. It is no secret how one person can rub off on another without even trying. So you do affect her, and it can be for the best when you are one with Jesus. She will be the benefactor as well.

So why not get ready today and do it tomorrow. Then it will be behind you.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.

You are a Catholic, you are getting married in the Catholic Church, and you feel your soul is dying.

Put all the three things together, you probably have already known what you ought to do.

You need go to confession and come back to the Church. Posting online and reading people’s responses won’t really bring you anywhere but go to confession and start to attend Mass every Sunday will tremendously help you.

All you need to do is to take action. There is nothing more powerful than God’s grace. And you receive God’s grace through the Sacraments - Confession and Eucharist. God bless!

We all have to go through life and carry some cross or another. St Teresa said “Most happy he who suffers most if it be for Christ”.

This means a lot to me. I have it written down and read it everyday.

I am going through a hard patch at the moment and I just plod on. Remember it is easy to pray etc in easy times. When the times are tough that is the testing time for our faith. That is when we should persevere and prove to God that whatever happens we will always turn to him in prayer and love.

Pray and ask for his guidance. As a priest friend has said to me, invoke the Holy Spirit to guide you. To help you.

God Bless

Thank you everyone for your responses, thoughts and prayers. I will do my best. I have looked at my local Churches and the only difficulty I have is that pretty much all of them only take confession on a Saturday. I wont be able to make either of the next couple of Saturdays , but maybe that’s a good thing as it will give me time to make a long list and really think about what I need to confess since it will have been 12 years. Planning to go to mass tomorrow as the first step on a long road back to where I want to be. Will keep you posted.

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