I feel like my soul is slowly dying. I am a Catholic. I was born and raised a Catholic in the UK and am now in my late 20s. From the age of about 14-20 I probably would have described myself as atheist/agnostic but something changed for me around the time of a sort of chance visit to a Cathedral around the time of the passing of JP2 and I began to again feel God’s love and regain strength in faith.
This strengthened over the next few years and when working in a stressful job, in a city, where I knew few people, I looked to God for support and began to attend mass more regularly than I had done at any point since my childhood; I felt like I had ‘come home’ to God.
Recently, I seem to be going through a difficult patch. I haven’t been to mass for around a year, having got out of the habit (easy solution there I guess), but I also seem to be falling into a world of soul decay… Regular, self-destructive use of porn, doubts about my faith, not being a good boyfriend/son/brother… all of this at a time where I need to be strong… My gf’s mum is about to go through chemo and both my gf and her mum (good Catholic people) are slightly struggling with their faith as a result, and finding it difficult to pray. Also, my gf is actually now my fiance and we are planning to marry in a Catholic Church and meeting her priest to discuss in the next couple of weeks. I feel that I need to address my own personal issues to prepare myself for this holy sacrament.
I don’t really know why i’m posting all this, but it feels better to get it out there…