Stubborn Husbands & Doctor Visits


#1

Okay, without getting into detail (DH would be absolutely mortified, and he knows who I am on the boards), how do you “encourage” your spouse to make a doctor’s appointment for an embarrassing condition? He has no problem going if he has something stuck in his eye, or if he chops a limb off… But if he can “hide” it, I think he prefers to just pray-it-away.

I have not tried nagging yet, but I’m getting desperate over here. Maybe he’ll see my post and do something.:smiley: I have been praying for him to call the doctor, but he says I should be praying for his healing, instead.:rolleyes:

Okay, gimme those great ideas! Wives, how do you get your beloved to go to the doctor? Hubbies, how does your wife get you to get up the gumption to make that call?


#2

My wife was supportive (not naggy) and eventually (not too long) I was a big boy and I did it. I’m glad I did.

God bless!

John


#3

Well, I think we just need to realise that although praying for healing is good and necessary, God has given us doctors for a reason. It is a sin to neglect our health and the first obvious step to avoid this sin is seeing a doctor when something is out of whack with our body and we cannot fix it ourselves.
To pray to God for healing without making this necessary first step is presumption, IMO.


#4

Okay, so I won’t nag - no matter how tempting it becomes - just keep being supportive. Right now, I tell him that I love him and just want him to be healthy… For himself, for me, and for the children. Maybe I just haven’t given him enough time yet. Perhaps I should pray for more patience for myself. :wink:

I have thought of this, but I just haven’t voiced it. I didn’t want to seem too overbearing and come on too strong (DH avoids conflict/confrontation like The Plague). :o


#5

Leave the Bible open at this passage :wink: :

“Honour the physician for the need thou hast of him: for the most High hath created him. – For all healing is from God, and he shall receive gifts of the king. – The skill of the physician shall lift up his head, and in the sight of great men he shall be praised. – The most High hath created medicines out of the earth, and a wise man will not abhor them. – Was not bitter water made sweet with wood?”
(Sirach 38:1-5)


#6

I ask my husband if he would like me to make the appointment for him. He hadn’t been to the dr. for a very long time. I said, “Would you like me to make an appointment for a physical for you on your next day off?” He said, “Sure.” Sometimes it’s just that initial call that intimidates people.

But, in the end, it really is up to him. He is a grown man and you can’t force him into anything he doesn’t want to do. Praying you can definitely do, however, so keep it up.

(And that Bible verse is a good one. I’ve never seen that before!)


#7

My husband is in desperate need of a physical…Not because anything is wrong per se, but he just hasn’t had one in years. I told him I’d make the appt…I think if I do, he WILL go. You could always make the appt for him, and then tell him? I already asked my husband, and he said that would be fine, but maybe there’s something about making the appt themselves, that somehow sends a message to others (in their minds) I’m weak…sick…I need help, which is counter to most men’s innate thinking.


#8

Wtihout going into detail… is this a serious condition or just an annoyance?

Anything that was a *major *health concern should be convincing enough…
He has a *responsibility *to care for his wife and children, and by ignoring a serious medical condition he may be compromising that responsibility.

I would be *all over *my husband if he were ignoring a medical condition that needed attention.


#9

omgosh you are preaching to the choir. :smiley: When DH and I were first married, he wouldn’t go to the doctor (even the DDS) for his yearly physical at all or when he was really sick. I tried talking to him at first stating that I loved him and wanted him to be healthy and not go through what I went through with all of my health problems (including tests and hospitalzations) over the yrs. before we met.

It did get to a point where it even had me in tears because I loved him so much and I wanted to take care of him. I said that I’d schedule the appts. to make his life easier, but being the stubborn man that he was, he wouldn’t budge. So then I prayed really hard and after a yr. or 2 (can’t remember when) he made the appt. and went.

I don’t bother DH about his health unless it’s something serious. He goes on his own to the appts. now and as a compromise, I don’t go with him unless I am asked to do so.

From what my friends tell me, their husbands are the same way. They think it’s a waste of time whereas we women, tend to nip things in the bud before something serious develops.

I will keep you in my prayers. Hang in there.:slight_smile:


#10

Hmmm… Well, it annoys him, certainly, but I could see a potential for something serious, like surgery, to fix the problem.

And, sorry, I forgot to mention that I have already offered a couple of times to make the appointment for him, but he sighs and says he’ll get around to it. :o

Thanks for the suggestions, everyone! They were really appreciated. :slight_smile:


#11

So you think the problem is that the condition is embarrassing? That would be a tough one to get him to want to go.

It reminds me a bit of someone who might be embarrassed about going to confession. I’m sure though if the preist has been a priests for some years, he’ll have heard far worse, and is probably tired of people feeling embarrassed and gets no joy in hearing those details. He wants to be able to help give the sacrament. I’m sure the doctor could care less, and just wants to patient to get healed. No one would make it far in the medical field as a doctor or a nurse doing patient care, if they were not a bit jaded to the embarrassment of bodily functions.

Maybe you’ll get some better advice, but you might just have to slowly work on him. Avoid nagging, but bring up the subject time to time. Maybe a small little bribe, you can go order a pizza after the appointment. :smiley: It’s just one of those things, it seems, that you don’t want to do, but you’ll be glad once it’s all over. Sometimes the worse thing is anticipating the unknown. Even if treatments don’t sound so good, at least you know what’s coming and what to do to prepare.


#12

Yep. The condition is really embarrassing, which is the rough part. I have total sympathy for him about being scared to call.

I think you’ve really nailed it. It’s something that you really don’t want to do, but will be so happy once the entire ordeal is finally over. Hmm… Reminds me of labor. :smiley:


#13

My husband is 25 years old and has NEVER had a physical and has only been to the dentist once in his entire life. He was about 7 years old when he went to the denstist and had a bad experience. He refuses to get physicals etc. I can get him to go the eye doctor and I can get him to go to my doctor when he is sick…but other then that he will NOT go. I have no suggestions on how to get your husband to go. I tell mine that it is his responsibility as a husband and father to care for his body so he is healthy for his family.


#14

Regarding the yearly physicals (“checkups”) – recent research suggests that they’re not really needed:

msnbc.msn.com/id/8379351


#15

Ahhh, that’s good. I only go to the doctor when there is something wrong with me.
(OK, I’m not married and I had to see a doctor almost weekly for the last four months… :rolleyes: But it’s good that once I get over my current ailment, I can take some years off guilt-free!)


#16

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