Student Dorms: Coed floor or not?


#1

I hope this is in the right place...

Please help! This is a bit of a weird question, but I'm scrupulous so I'm asking it. I'm a college student and I'm going to be choosing my dorm room for next year in a couple of hours. The rooms are not coed but I will probably have a choice between a coed floor (bathrooms shouldn't be shared, but the hallways will, I suppose) and a male-only floor. Provided that I have a choice, should I choose the male-only floor, or are they morally equivalent? I suppose that it probably doesn't matter but I wanted to ask to be sure...

Thanks in advance for answering such a weird question.

In the Peace of Christ,


#2

I lived on a coed floor in college (didn't have many options for single-sex) and it was perfectly fine. It's really no different to walk down the hall versus walking up some steps if someone has the inclination to do so. However, we did have in-room bathrooms, not a communal bathroom.

Having a communal bathroom on a coed floor can be a problem...I heard about some not-so-great things happening at my school with those. Basically what would happen was that the communal bathrooms would be designated as single-sex during the morning rush of showers etc. but then during the rest of the day, anyone could use them. In any case, there was always a small minority of kids who would take advantage of the situation.


#3

I lived on a co-ed floor and really liked it. The bathrooms were single gender and it was no big deal. It never felt immoral in any way to live there - the rooms were boy/girl/boy/girl as you went down the hall. I would go with what you think you'll be most comfortable with!:)


#4

If there are no visitation restrictions, I don’t know if it matters.

Not only did my school (Notre Dame) not have coed dorms, women aren’t allowed past the lobby in men’s dorms, and vice versa, after a certain hour.

I liked it. It meant most parties ended at a certain hour, and you never had to worry about having an inconsiderate roommate bringing over an unwanted overnight guest.


#5

I would think the college would have to have separate communal bathrooms for each sex. My college does and each has it's unique passcode to access it.

I did have a unique living situation this year when I went to my university. I needed a ground floor room w/ a private bathroom because I have a physical disability so my house (each floor was divided into smaller houses) was all guys except for my RA and myself. Was never an issue as they respected me.

I did notice the all-guys houses other than mine were a lot more lewd in some ways than the co-ed houses or all-female houses. Maybe because the guys respected their female house members. But my university has a 4:1 guy to girl ratio too so it's not your average university (it's a mainly engineering school).

I'd say do whatever you think will help you avoid immorality. It's tough to give a definitive piece of advice as you don't know what type of students you'll be surrounded by.

God Bless,
Rebecca


#6

Actually I got into a dorm called “health and wellness” so no alchohol or drugs are allowed :slight_smile: And I’ll have a single, probably… But I’m not a kind of “manly man” so I get along better with girls in general I feel, though I’m the “friend” type…

Perhaps it would be more prudent to go for the all-male floor, but I feel I might be more comfortable to go for the coed floor…

I mean, I live in a similar situation now, and to be frank, the girls are probably at least as immodest on a party night than when they are go to shower, perhaps even less, so…

That’s my problem; I want to avoid immorality, but I think I’d feel more comfortable on the coed floor… I guess it’s kind of like living in an appartment building with a shared bathroom on each floor, one for each sex, right??

Or perhaps I’m justifying it…


#7

[quote="JSSebastianoP, post:1, topic:238915"]
I hope this is in the right place...

Please help! This is a bit of a weird question, but I'm scrupulous so I'm asking it. I'm a college student and I'm going to be choosing my dorm room for next year in a couple of hours. The rooms are not coed but I will probably have a choice between a coed floor (bathrooms shouldn't be shared, but the hallways will, I suppose) and a male-only floor. Provided that I have a choice, should I choose the male-only floor, or are they morally equivalent? I suppose that it probably doesn't matter but I wanted to ask to be sure...

Thanks in advance for answering such a weird question.

In the Peace of Christ,

[/quote]

I don't think this is a weird question at all. I think the choice would depend on how the floors are set up for the coed floors. If there are shared communal bathrooms - even if there is a separate bathroom for each gender, I don't think it is too much of a great idea. At least for me, I wouldn't want to be walking back to my dorm room either in a bathrobe or a towel wrapped around me with the chance of a guy in the hallway. That said, it really isn't as much of a difference when a person of the opposite sex is on the floor anyway. My freshman year of school, there was one girl on the floor who always had her boyfriend over in her room. Instead of using the men's room on the floors above and below us, we'd catch him coming out of the women's room. It got to the point some went to the RA to complain.

For most of my college years, I lived on female-only floors. Our university didn't have single-sex dormitories, which I think would have been the ideal. The buildings that had communal bathrooms only had single-sex floors. The dorms which had bathrooms within the dorm room had coed floors. When I lived in one such building, with the exception of security (only students with id's could enter and would only be permitted to bring in 3 guests at a time), those buildings were much like apartment buildings. The dorm room basically consisted of a suite with two bedrooms, a bathroom on one side with a toilette and sink and a bathroom on the other side with a shower and sink, then a little communal area where we could place our refrigerator, drying laundry and other things. Each room had two occupants. That situation was much better.

If you have the choice to stay in something like that, I don't see a problem with living on a coed floor. But, it does depend on the maturity level of a student.


#8

I lived on a coed floor in college. There was a study lounge in the middle, girls rooms and bathrooms on one side, boys on the other. It wasn't too bad.


#9

[quote="JSSebastianoP, post:1, topic:238915"]
I hope this is in the right place...

Please help! This is a bit of a weird question, but I'm scrupulous so I'm asking it. I'm a college student and I'm going to be choosing my dorm room for next year in a couple of hours. The rooms are not coed but I will probably have a choice between a coed floor (bathrooms shouldn't be shared, but the hallways will, I suppose) and a male-only floor. Provided that I have a choice, should I choose the male-only floor, or are they morally equivalent? I suppose that it probably doesn't matter but I wanted to ask to be sure...

Thanks in advance for answering such a weird question.

In the Peace of Christ,

[/quote]

Whichever is the cheaper option.


#10

I am a woman; I always chose women-only floors. I hated the idea of sharing a bathroom with guys (yes, even the bathrooms on co-ed floors were co-ed). I hated it for 2 reasons:1. I didn't want to use the bathroom or shower with dudes around and 2. the men were typically a lot less likely to keep bathrooms clean. The all-men floors in our dorms were always disgusting by Sunday (the cleaning people didn't work Sat and Sun), the hallways and bathrooms were filthy and they stank.

But -- seeing as you're a guy, I would probably recommend that you go co-ed for the same reasons I chose all women, lol!

If you are concerned about the girls being immodest, I understand that too, but there's no way to know until you actually get to the floor and meet the girls and see how they behave. In my day (ealrly 90s), none the girls I knew walked around in their PJs or undies, despite what popular movies like Animal House would have you believe. We all had bathrobes and we wore them!

If they are really bad about it, I suppose you could request a transfer?


#11

[quote="Havard, post:4, topic:238915"]
If there are no visitation restrictions, I don't know if it matters.

Not only did my school (Notre Dame) not have coed dorms, women aren't allowed past the lobby in men's dorms, and vice versa, after a certain hour.

I liked it. It meant most parties ended at a certain hour, and you never had to worry about having an inconsiderate roommate bringing over an unwanted overnight guest.

[/quote]

People respected the rules? My dorm had similar policies about not having women anywhere in the living quarters after a certain hour (I think it was 11pm on weekdays, 1am on the weekend), but that didn't stop many guys from having overnight guests. There were policies about alcohol, too, but that was also never in short supply.

Maybe the guys in my dorm were more deviant than most. :shrug:


#12

[quote="Joe_5859, post:11, topic:238915"]
People respected the rules? My dorm had similar policies about not having women anywhere in the living quarters after a certain hour (I think it was 11pm on weekdays, 1am on the weekend), but that didn't stop many guys from having overnight guests. There were policies about alcohol, too, but that was also never in short supply.

Maybe the guys in my dorm were more deviant than most. :shrug:

[/quote]

You could break the rules if you were very quiet and your roommate(s) went along with it, however it still effectively nullified loud parties past a certain hour and unwanted roommate's guests.


#13

Don’t worry, I don’t think it is scrupulous at all, nowadays it seems like people think taking care of details of purity, something we should all be doing, and taking care of little details of any moral issue is scrupulosity. Paying attention and taking care of the little things is something that often separates the saints from other people! I do think a male only floor would be the better option from a purity point of view. I lived/worked in the dorms while in college (I was an RA) and if you are sharing hallways with girls going to and from the bathroom there is a good chance you will see more things than needed, so I would definitely go for a men’s only floor.


#14

Ah, I see. Yes, the loudness factor is definitely more easily enforced than some of the other rules. I guess it also depends on the RA, too. My freshman year RA was pretty lax about those things. My sophomore year RA did crack down a bit more.


#15

Because it is a non-alchoholic and no drug dorm, I thought it would be an okay place.
I just wanted to let everyone know that I had to decide at a litte after 2:00 today, and I chose to live on one of the coed floors, close to the men's bathroom. Two girls that I know are in my vicinity are nice people and usually dress fairly modstly, which I think would be not too strange in this dorm.

Just wanted to give you all an update. And thank you so much for all your thoughts!


#16

I think either one will be fine. In my experience you see as many girls on the all-guy floor as you do on the co-ed floor. At my college, the only dorms that were successful at limited the opposite sex visitors was the all-girl dorm that required an escort for all males (including fathers and brothers.)

I wouldn’t worry too much about the immorality. You are bound to witness somethings you wished you hadn’t but people normally leave you alone.


closed #17

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