Students of Virginity [Celibacy Club at Harvard]

The following link is from the **New York Times Magazine ** March 30, 2008. The article is entitled Students of Virginity by Randall Patterson (pages 38-43). It chronicles what may be a spreading movement and fairly treats Catholic students, scholars and issues. It is the kind of article that all CAFers (but especially parents and students) may find interesting.

Interesting article. It points out two different views from two different women, one who feels she has the right to sex.

Maybe I am wrong on this but I think there are a lot of women out there who feel the same as Chen.

I thought it was annoying that one article the story cites was called “Girls Gone Mild.” It’s the opposite of going mild. It’s discovering your fierce side.

Chen seems to view sex as chocolate: I like it, I wan’t it when I want it! But that is probably an extreme view among women. A more common view among women may be sex as relationship magnet. As the reporter, speaking of Fredell, says “Her girlfriends are surprised that she can maintain a relationship without having sex. . .”

originally posted by JimG
Chen seems to view sex as chocolate: I like it, I wan’t it when I want it! But that is probably an extreme view among women.

I am not so sure that it is an extreme view among women. Women today are very different from days gone by. That was Margaret Sanger’s thing also.

I’d be interested to know just how different women have become.

Most women years ago would not even have had sex and if they did it would have solely been to please a boyfriend.

That change came with the sexual revolution of the sixties. To me, it was so much a revolution for the boys. Some of the boys were having sex even if with the same few girls or even experimenting with each other. It was a revolution for the women.

Women became empowered and a part of that empowerment was the right to sexual expression. As I said maybe I have got this wrong but what Chen said, I have heard many times from many different women.

I believe that is what the “Vaginal Monologues” is about.

As I said maybe I have got this wrong but what Chen said, I have heard many times from many different women.

If I understand you correctly, you are saying that the sexual revolution was not as much a revolution for the boys–who were already having sex–as it was for the girls–because it empowered them to have sex freely. That may be true to some extent, but I’m not sure to what extent. I don’t know your gender but I would be curious as to how many women now have the same attitudes about sex as Chen in the article. Do women just like having sex entirely apart from relationships? Do they toss a guy aside if sex is not immediately forthcoming?

I think the sexual revolution was entirely for the guys; they had been walking a fine line, and we had clear expectations that worked for most of us. Then suddenly they were the ones with clear expectations: have lots of sex and prove you’re open to anything, any time, anywhere. We had to walk the fine line since the sixties: Be available, but selective, but easygoing, but exciting, but hard to get, but casual, but take all the responsibility, but act like you have never heard of responsibility, but pretend you’re bonding, but unbond at will without damage to your ability to bond again, but act like you’re glad this all happened. Oh, and when someone else’s idea of a good time gives you AIDS when you just wanted to eat popcorn and see a movie, act mature, which means cool, which means you don’t have feelings, especially feelings that it’s extrememly unfair. And be a perfect mother to any little children who come along as a result, but never let them cramp your style.
My generation took a brief break from going along with it to say, give us a break. We said if every form of sexuality is OK so is asexuality. If you can do whatever you want, we’re putting our coats back on and doing what we want: going home.You might have heard the jaws drop across the country.

Oh yes, of course only men experience raging hormones.

Get real. Women enjoy sex just as men do and sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of.

All I know is that girls in my generation saw saying no as a powerful, liberating relief for years and many still do. And that those who decided to follow the older folks’ cue and be “cool” were the sad ones.



TomPilfoff, so far these statements are in agreement with Catholic Church teaching. You seemed to say in an earlier post that people should feel free to have sex whenever/wherever. That conclusion does not follow from the above statements.

That may very well be true. It doesn’t diminish the importance of the so-called sexual revolution.

What is its importance? What did it accomplish other than giving fatal or incurable diseases to millions who never wanted to have sex in the first place – and millions who did, of course, as well – and leaving millions with one unprepared parent and one absent one?

Okay, that is actually really funny if you think about it.:stuck_out_tongue:

It broke the long-standing belief that women shouldn’t acknowledge themselves as having a sex drive.

Of course there were missteps along the way - as a result of sexuality having been treated as obscene for so long there was no sex education, no widespread public awareness about STD’s and pregnancy.

They knew about them, yes. That doesn’t mean there was education about it.

So every teenage boy and girl of the 1950’s knew that a woman couldn’t get pregnant from, say, orally ingesting sperm? They all knew that the ‘pulling out’ method wasn’t safe?

Face it, the assertion that public sexual education hasn’t come a long ways is ridiculous.

It has come a long way. And the progress of sex education seems to have been accompanied by a corresponding leap in the prevalence of STD’s and teen pregnancies.

Originally Posted by JimG
I’d be interested to know just how different women have become.

Well, I guess I wasn’t really expecting that on CAF there would be a vast number of women chiming in to say that they felt exactly like Chen in their everyday attitudes toward sexual activity. But I was hoping for some insight as to whether or not women in general are more apt to opt for the “sex in the city” lifestyle compared to women in the past. Has the sexual revolution really turned women into the equivalent of hormonal 14 year old boys? [An example I use because at the age of 14, I thought a lot like Chen!]

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