(continued from last post…)
I am so sad so many of us are going to hell. I’m sad that I’m going to hell. Last week I thought I was going to heaven. Today, somebody here led me to believe I’m heading to hell.
This is one of the reasons you may wish to use caution when reading these forums…some folks are a bit overzealous on the hell issue (NOT that I deny hell, or the fact that it is a serious concern that should be addressed far more often than it currently is…)
The Catholic Church has never taught that “many” or “few” are in hell, or even going to hell. In fact, the Church has not even said that Judas, the traitor himself, is in hell (or Hitler or Stalin either, for that matter). God alone is the Judge, and He is both Mercy and Justice.
To go to hell the Church teaches that one must be in unrepentent and unconfessed mortal sin at the instant of death, when the soul has separated from the body (which is something that no scientist can even tell us, as a matter of fact, which is why we can NEVER know if someone truly died without turning to God’s mercy)
A couple of weeks ago I thought it was a sin not to believe that I am forgiven. So I accepted forgiveness as a way of life. I felt good about that cause I thought it would get me to heaven. Now I’m going to hell again.
We should live out a life of forgiveness, both seeking forgiveness from God and each other, as well as forgiving others – “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”, as our Lord taught us to pray.
The “sin against the Holy Spirit” that cannot be forgiven is the denial of forgivenss – which can be either 1) being too prideful and overconfident (“I don’t need God’s mercy”) or 2) being despairing of forgiveness (“I’m too sinful and even God cannot forgive me”). In either case, the problem is a lack of repentence.
As someone else suggested, you are in the painful and beautiful awakening stage of your spiritual journey, and you need guidance. The great thing about resources like these forums is that they can help people awaken this desire, but the bad thing about these forums is that they cannot substitute for a good priest-confessor/spiritual director. Please go find a priest and make an appointment with him for spiritual discussion (and perhaps confession as well) – this is something that should be a more structured session than just the 5-minute confessional encounter.
As I see it, there are two main dangers at this point - 1) that you become too despairing, seeing the path as too difficult and giving up before you truly begin to understand what is actually being asked of you, and 2) that you throw yourself completely into the practice of your faith before you are ready – you must let the plant’s roots grow deep before the stem grows too tall!
If you are unsure of a good priest to turn to, and especially if you live in a metro area, you may wish to post here and ask if someone on here can recommend a good priest to talk to. You need honest spiritual guidance right now – you are at a crucial stage in your journey, and God is calling you!!
My prayers are with you, may our Lady guide you always to her Son! Please contact me if I can be of any other help to you, you can either e-mail me or IM me.