Stumbling frequently to sin(masturbation) Terrified of death, hell and God.

First I would like to thank anyone who reads this. I’m in my early 20’s and have been struggling with the sin of masturbation for some time now. I wouldn’t have posted this if I didn’t think my case was a bit more unusual than most of the other posts I read attempting to find some clarity. I’ve struggled with purity since age 16(premarital sex+ masturbation) and from age 16 to around age 19 my faith wasn’t so good and I didn’t really care that I was sinning while doing these things. But at around age 19 I had my first panic attack (thought I was going to die, racing heart, shortness of breathe, and wound up in the emergency room.) After this, things changed for me, when I’d engage in premarital sex or masturbate, I’d want to rush to confession immediately and get the sin off my soul (fearful that I might die out of nowhere). I am no longer together with the girlfriend I had, but I still struggle with masturbation. Here’s the thing, when I get ‘that urge’ to masturbate, I’ll phone some of the local parishes to schedule a confession, schedule one for later that day, then masturbate, then head directly to confession. Now I do this because I am so afraid that I may die with this sin on my soul and when I do have this particular sin on my soul I am completely dysfunctional(panicky/anxious/nervous) until I am able to receive the sacrament of reconciliation.

I know this is wrong of me to be planning my sins like this but I continue doing it because of my weakness to this temptation, I give in too easily. I just feel like a fraud. I go to mass every sunday, I try to set a good example for my friends around me, I try to pray the rosary daily, I try to do good deeds…but this desire to masturbate/look at pornography is always hovering over me…always in the back of my mind or consuming my thoughts entirely.

Also once I do confess, sometimes I feel like these sins are still on my soul, I feel like “how can I be truly sorry for sins that I planned?”

Any help, advice, instruction, or prayers are very much appreciated. Thank you for reading.

If you have pornography problems, install an internet filter like Covenant Eye, which will send browsing activity to accountability partners who will pray for you. This is a strong deterrent to porno on the internet.
Pray for God’s grace to help you. Our own efforts tend to end in vain. God’s grace is stronger, though you can try using physical restraints, eg. Handcuff yourself during sleep. Rewarding yourself for successes is also helpful.

Watch this video: youtube.com/watch?v=583aZdjisS8
Some people on the video successfully crucified the bad habit.
Watch also this video: youtube.com/watch?v=loh-iXMgq40
This preacher gives good tips on how to win the war on sexual immorality.

BTW, doesnt the rules of confession say that you must be truly willing to end the sin or else you are just playing games with the system? I mean, I know the confession system, like the indulgence system back in Luther’s days, is prone to abuse like this all the time, I suspect drunks get involved in this a lot.

Well, dont forget to pray and all the best my friend.

discipline, if God cant trust you in little matters, how can God trust you in great matters is a good question.

alienation cannot be reasoned away, it must be healed.

Your Father, has asked you to be disciplined to not do certain things, many of which are of natural reasoning, though we often dont know or understand why. Avoidance of Drugs, alcohol, people devoid of morality and good social character, fast cars for they pick up fast women. and today, if he cared , avoidance of texting, for that addiction parells alot of the other addictions. Masterbation canbe another example of an addiction we are called to avoid, to be disciplined from, for we are to not to chose to Love ourself First, but God, and as minor as that sounds, its got alot of validity…

Confession is for the admitance of not being disciplined, and for that to recognize, that falling down, to which we then learn to pick ourselves up… If we go to confession we are recognizing our short comings, and to that call ourselves to a discipline to make an effort to refrain or change our ways. To have to keep going to confession over and over for the same fault, says we are more so addicted and not realy working to change what we should be disciplined to avoid.

Example is, if your texting too much , and in confession saying its a sin, and you want forgiven for the sin of texting too much. but then in the future find your texting and driving and going to confession to admit that, your really not sorry for your sins, your going throgh the motions, but not grasping your need to change, to come to never text or drive fast because they are sins. and when you texting and driving fast, and now picking up fast women, your by mathamatical statistic going to wreck your car, and in turn risk killing this fast women or somebody, and you really must then recognize your not making good confessions.
Your going, but not recognizing, that your murdering others souls by setting a bad example for others to folllow, of not being disciplined to not do what you should not do…
the tragidity of killing the soulds of others is ignored, but in doing this thier will now be, evidence of the sin of texting too much. a real tragidity, of sin.

masturbation and texting, are both sins , but not seeing the pysical evidence, we dont grasp their wrong, tilll they lead to a sin and the physical evidence comes, from a lack of not being disciplined to the little, the big come from.
going to confesssion, but yet not coming to be disciplined of, is a mortal sin…you should be terrified, your on the path to bigger sins. many are called, few will answer the call.

OP, if you have the time to schedule confession prior to committing this sin I recommend you run as fast as you can from it instead. Go somewhere public or at least where there is no computer/tv if that is what is causing you to stumble. Pray that the temptation will pass.

“Don’t be such a coward as to be ‘brave.’ Flee!”

  • St. Josemaria Escriva

When you go to church, reflect on how much Jesus was willing to suffer for the forgiveness of sins. People don’t end up in hell easily.

“masturbation and texting, are both sins”

WHAT?? Texting is now a sin? NOwhere in the catechism, encyclicals, anywhere is texting — TEXTING – described as a sinful action. Seriously, where do you come up with this stuff?

In response to the OP, stay close to the sacraments and prayer. I found the Divine Mercy prayer to very helpful when I was in your situation. Have faith in the power of the sacrament of penance, and also when the infamous “urge” comes, distract yourself, not by calling to schedule a confession, but by jogging or video-games or work. Something to keep your mind off those thoughts.

The dopamine released during climax is strong to deny, but discipline and prayer is key.

Praying for you, brother.

:highprayer:

You do know that when you confess those sins, are not forgiven IF you aren’t fully repentant, right? Being fully repentant is making a resolution to never sin no more again. If you call your parish and schedule a confession because you want to sin and satisfy your urges, is that being repentant? I don’t think so. Don’t go to confession unless you are fully repentant. Otherwise, the sins can’t be forgiven. :frowning:

You have two separate problems (not entirely separate but significantly so). One is your masturbation/pornography and the other is your anxiety problem. You should seek treatment for your anxiety and panic attacks. This will probably also help your lusts.

NorthsideTim–

When you do not have time for the rosary (I admire you for trying to pray it daily), at least say an Our Father and three Hail Mary’s every time you get up and go to bed.

The sin of that temptation, I think, comes when your mind is not occupied. Boredom plus stress opens you up to it.

Blessed is the man who has not walked in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stood in the way of sinners, nor sat in the chair of pestilence: But his will is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he shall meditate day and night.

“Meditate” or occupy your thoughts with the law of God “day and night”, not just after you have failed to overcome your temptation.

Thank you all very much for your replies and prayers.

I do have one more question, Do you all think I should confess about planning sins only to confess them at a scheduled confession? And if so, how might I word that? I just want a clear conscience.

I take Paxil, an antidepressant, that greatly reduces my libido. Since taking this medication, I seldom have any urges whatsoever. You may want to talk to your doctor about this.

CHAPTER 13 – On Resisting Temptations [The Imitation of Christ]

So long as we live in this world, we cannot remain without trial and temptation: as Job says, “Man’s life on earth is a warfare.” We must therefore be on guard against temptations, and watchful in prayer, that the Devil find no means of deceiving us; for he never rests, but prowls around seeking whom he may devour. No one is so perfect and holy that he is never tempted, and we can never be secure from temptation.

Although temptations are so troublesome and grievous, yet they are often profitable to us, for by them we are humbled, cleansed, and instructed. All the Saints endured manly trials and temptations, and profited by them; but those who could not resist temptations became reprobate, and fell away. There is no Order so holy, nor place so secluded, where there are no troubles and temptations.

No man can be entirely free from temptation so long as he lives; for the source of temptation lies within our own nature, since we are born with an inclination towards evil. When one temptation or trial draws to a close, another takes its place; and we shall always have something to fight, for man has lost the blessing of original happiness. Many try to escape temptations, only to encounter them more fiercely, for no one can win victory by flight alone; it is only by patience and true humility that we can grow stronger than all our foes.

The man who only avoids the outward occasions of evil, but fails to uproot it in himself, will gain little advantage. Indeed, temptations will return upon him the sooner, and he will find himself in a worse state than before. Little by little and by patient endurance you will overcome them by God’s help, better than by your own violence and importunity. Seek regular advice in temptation, and never deal harshly with those who are tempted, but give them such encouragement as you would value yourself.

The beginning of all evil temptation is an unstable mind and lack of trust in God. Just as a ship without a helm is driven to and fro by the waves, so a careless man, who abandons his proper course, is tempted in countless ways. Fire tempers steel, and temptation the just man. We often do not know what we can bear, but temptation reveals our true nature. We need especially to be on our guard at the very onset of temptation, for then the Enemy may be more easily overcome, if he is not allowed to enter the gates of the mind: he must be repulsed at the threshold, as soon as he knocks. Thus the poet Ovid writes, “Resist at the beginning; the remedy may come too late.” For first there comes into the mind an evil thought: next, a vivid picture: then delight, and urge to evil, and finally consent. In this way the Enemy gradually gains complete mastery, when he is not resisted at first. And the longer a slothful man delays resistance, the weaker he becomes, and the stronger his enemy grows against him.

Some people undergo their heaviest temptations at the beginning of their conversion; some towards the end of their course; others are greatly troubled all their lives; while there are some whose temptations are but light. This is in accordance with the wisdom and justice of God’s ordinance, who weighs the condition and merits of every man, and disposes all things for the salvation of those whom He chooses.

We must not despair, therefore, when we are tempted, but earnestly pray God to grant us his help in every need. For, as Saint Paul says, “With the temptation, God will provide a way to overcome it, that we may be able to bear bear it.” So, let us humble ourselves under the hand of God, in every trial and trouble, for He will save and raise up the humble in Spirit. In all these trials, our progress is tested; in them great merit may be secured, and our virtue become evident. It is no great matter if we are devout and fervent when we have no troubles; but if we show patience in adversity, we can make great progress in virtue. Some are spared severe temptations, but are overcome in the lesser ones of every day, in order that they may be humble, and learn not to trust in themselves, but to recognize their frailty.

listen, this is not as grave a sin as you think. There are far worse things that people do. You’re probably lonely and you need a compatible mate.

pray to St Joseph for a partner.

never give up hope, try to relax into the love of Christ, not the judgemental people who want to call you a sinner, of course you are, but so are they and so am i.

also, you may want to engage in some strenuous physical exercise, this will help with depression as well.

do not take drugs or drink when you’re feeling this way because that will kill your brain cells and cause deeper depression.

Yes, confess it. Word it like this “I think I have not been fully repentant of my sins since I have scheduled a confession because I wanted to sin.”

Northside Tim,

You’ve read everywhere that in all cases, specially in these cases, we say “pray”. Always pray. You know what is to pray? In Spanish, there are two different words to refer to the one English word “praying”. And that is “Orar” and “Rezar”. The first one (in English is “pray”) means that you communicate with God, you talk to Him like Son to a Father, like brother to brother, like friend to friend. Just telling him your worries, thanking Him…etc… By doing this, you are actually treating Him. And He wants that, for you to notice Him and enjoy a conversation together. The second one ( in English means “pray” too) means to say the Our Father, Hail Mary, the Apostoles’ Creed, the Salve Regina…a Chaplet, the Rosary…those Liturgical prayers.

I have experienced that the LOUDER you pray, the BETTER! Try it.

Oh and every time you feel tempted, say OUT LOUD, “Begone from me, Satan, in the Name of Jesus Christ, and Mary. St. Michael, protect me from evil, Guardian Angel, protect my mind.”

Whatever you choose to pray, I encourage you to say it out loud. OUT LOUD. :slight_smile:

Yes. It’s called the sin of presumption. It’s opposed to the virtue of hope. Think of hope as being in the middle between despair and this sin, presumption. Fear not. Like just about every other sin, your priest has heard it before. Frankly, I’d be impressed if someone confessed this to me, as it shows a level of maturity in the spiritual life to even recognize the sinfulness of it. Many people would not even give it a second thought. I commend you for that.

1 Like

I’m with you on this
Pray’ fast and give. alms tried and true means to repentance.
You will only succeed when you replace your currents thoughts with thoughts of a purer origin. The thought precedes the action.
You can’t do it without the grace of God.

Rid yourself of as much temptation a possible especially TV
reading material and Internet.
I’m sure there are links that start you down the wrong path
avoid these temptation.
This sin will destroy your relationship as it isolates you
I will pray for you and you remember me in your prayers

May I put in my two cents on this one?

FIrst, strive for UNDERSTANDING, understand that we are PRONE to sin!
just like gravity, sin pulls us down! You can’t fight it ON YOUR OWN, so
relax, let JESUS take over, after all HE is in charge(He is Lord).

Second, sin is like a seed, once it is planted in your soul, it takes root
and than sends out shoots and than flowers and then it bears FRUIT.
You should not worry every time a sin is planted in your soul, let it
take root, let it send out shoots, it is when it bears fruit that you should
RECOGNIZE it for what it is, and THEN you should bemoan and
confess!

Thirdly, satan is more clever than you and I are, and sometimes he
will be “bombing” one part of your life while invading another, don’t let
this area of your life bother you so much, it is PART OF GROWING UP!
Instead look at the other areas of your life, are you honoring your parents?
are you treating others as you want to be treated? Have you lied about
anything you have taken?

Northside Tim, I will also pray for you
that the devil will NOT get the upper
hand on this one.:wink:

Tim I have the same problem.I am 13 and masturbation is a constant problem.Any thoughts and you are in my prayers.
.

You need to fast, preferably on bread and water. If you cannot give up the morning coffee, then fast on bread and coffee for the day, or bread and water with a little orange juice in it (1 part juice, 7 parts water, for example) if you are too young or don’t drink coffee, but find drinking just water too hard. Some evil desires can only be overcome with the help of fasting (Jesus said this btw). Buy the breads the day before - buy something you’ll like to eat, like croissants or Hawaiian sweet rolls or something.

We are at war internally - the flesh and the spirit. Fasting weakens the flesh in this war. Literally. Towards the end of the day you will feel hungry due to lack of the usual meats of our protein-rich diet, and the reduced sugar intake, You will probably feel very tired at the end of the day (in the late afternoon shift to water to cut back on the caffeine) and fall fast asleep at bed time.

Do it on Wednesday, and try again on Friday; if cannot do Friday just do Wed for now. Pray the daily rosary. In the beginning, eat a croissant or hawaiian roll in the morning, two/three at lunch, and two/three at dinner time. And eat a whole one or part of one when you feel hungry. As you continue fasting for several weeks on Wed and/or Fridays, try to eliminate the between mealtimes ‘snacking’ on extra bread.

So fast on Wed and try to add Fridays, pray the rosary once a day (if you miss a day, don’t beat yourself up, just continue with a rosary the next day; be sincere in trying not to miss though), and go to weekly confession with everybody else, at your church’s scheduled time (usually Sat afternoons but not always).

If you stick with it, you probably will find relief. It will most likely not be instantaneous but **if you persist **in the fasting and prayer coupled with confession as outlined above, you will succeed. Good overcomes evil, and God’s grace you will receive will overcome everything.

Do your best; if you fail resolve to try again. In this way, you are walking towards Jesus’s extended hand, just like Peter did when he got out of the boat and walked on the water to go to Jesus. In the end, Jesus held Peter up, and He will hold you up too, but you must first take the steps above, it is you who must choose to walk towards Him.

Go for it.

God bless you.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.