Sufi/Non-Catholic dealing with Catholic Extremist Roomate


Hi! This is my first post here, and I must give background information on myself before I ask you for your advice/opinions.

I am a white (this is pertains to the question) Sufi who converted from Catholicism. I was born in Mumbai by two American Catholics fighting the sex-trade industry who raised me Catholic. However, when I was about ten years old I became a devout Sufi. I have since returned to the United States and go to the University of Notre Dame studying philosophy and religion. I have a Catholic girlfriend who is Vietnamese, and we grow spiritually through the understanding of different understanding of our God together. The Jesuit community that she is a part supports our relationship with great care, and I appreciate them for that. I go to church with her, and she (sometimes even the Jesuit priests) worship in the Sufi way with me.

The center of my question comes in with a roommate I had last year who recently has become a point of interest for me. Last year this roommate would never leave his room, and opt to play video games all day - violent ones nevertheless. I never minded that, but often would invite him to go to the park, etc. and he would refuse, citing the fact that he was afraid he would sin. That was odd to me, but I casually let him go along with his faith. However, recently I have moved out of the dorms and heard that he has completely isolated himself from the world - talking to no one. I went and visited him yesterday and he accused me of being non-religious because I have converted to Sufism from Catholicism, and also criticized my relationship with my girlfriend because she is Vietnamese and Catholic, citing she needed to “stay with other Viet Catholics”. This conversion is apparently punishable by Hell, as well as a Catholic dating a non-Catholic. He also went on about how God is the only reason he is alive, and how if it wasn’t against his religion he would commit suicide. I have tried to get help, but it isn’t working. Lately, my sister has tried talking to him (he talks to her more than anyone else - she’s a freshman in college), and he criticized her and all women for being immoral and cited a number of Bible verses. He then started talking to my thirteen year old sister, citing that she was the only one that could understand him since she was still “pure”. I’ve reported him to the councilors at school, and it didn’t work. Nor did a talk with a Jesuit priest, with him citing that “Jesuits are nothing but Catholic Rebels”. I suppose my concern is, how can I help someone like this and what is a rational way to deal with extremism? Especially if you see that extremism becoming potentially dangerous.



Perhaps try another office at the school you both attend. The RA? Dean of students?

If it he is at Notre Dame (or basically any other university worth its salt) I would guess they would deem it serious enough (if it is) to look into.

Have you tried the Dean of Students?



Hi Plobby,

It is very kind of you to have such concern for your former roommate. What you describe here doesn’t sound like religious extremism as much as it sounds like a psychological problem.

My advice is for you and your girlfriend to pray for him, and for you to encourage him to seek counseling. If he denies he has a problem or otherwise refuses to seek help, then pray that his heart will be changed and that he will get the help he needs.


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