Tainted Happiness


Two weeks before my wife and I got married, my father died. after much discussion, my fiancee and i decided to continue with the ceremony and have only a brief dinner reception. What was supposed to be a very happy occasion turned into something more solemn and subdued.

when i think about heaven, i really think it must be this way also. if i am ever accepted into heaven by God (which i probably wont), i don’t see how i could be completely happy if one or more of the people i have cared about in my life are not there with me. I love my family, living or not, and it seems that to be in heaven when they are not would be tainted happiness.

i have nothing but sympathy for people who are not in heaven. yeah, i know some will say they only get what they deserve, but it is really heartbreaking to know even one person is not in heaven. how could anyone enjoy the wedding feast when they know people are outside starving to death.

i feel this way even on earth. how many people are starving right now, and i am not. the cookies my wife put in my lunch today taste great, but in the light of others suffering, any joy is tinged with sadness.


Would knowing that they went there because they choose to, help?


When you are in heaven, you will see things more as God sees them. Your greatest desire will be to give God honor and glory. You will understand better that God would not be glorified by the presence of those who deliberately reject Him.


i don’t see how i could be completely happy if one or more of the people i have cared about in my life are not there with me.

**Remember what Jesus said about loving even parents more than Himself?

If you don’t love God more than anyone on earth, of COURSE you won’t be happy with Him in heaven, and He loves you so much He won’t force Himself on you for eternity.

What you are saying might sound grand and self-sacrificing, but it allows Hell to have the last word–to be able to veto heaven.

C. S. Lewis talks about this in THE GREAT DIVORCE.



I think Philothea gave you the best answer - I was taught that if we attain Heaven, even if we don’t see those we love who also got there, the knowledge that they got there would be enough. We don’t know what type of state Heaven is or how our souls will be. God has it all set for us - and it’s enough to just know that.

As for your quote from C.S. Lewis…remember - he was just an author, not God. His writings were simply that. Hell does NOT have the last word. God IS THE WORD and has THE ONLY LAST WORD. Ever hear of the Last Judgement? It will be God who judges us based on our lives’ actions. (perhaps that’s what C.S. Lewis meant by vetoing Heaven - by our actions?)

Sadly, I worry here on earth not only about my soul but in recent months about loved ones who’ve passed - I worry alot - NOT doubting God’s Mercy (which a friend has suggested about me) but not sure of human beings, and therefore, not knowing how God judged them. I cry alot worrying where they are. Don’t put your faith in writers and authors; put your trust in God.


having lost my dad, mom and grandfather this past year, i truly know how you feel. you have my condolences, and i will add your loved ones to my prayers.

i don’t remember where, but i read/heard that Mary sheds tears in heaven for the lost souls, and for those living who are turned away from God. It seems to me that if we are truly to love our neighbor, then we could ONLY feel heartbreak when someone falls into hell.


i don’t understand how being sad over the loss of a loved one causes hell to have the last word. are you saying God is happy to throw people in hell? it seems to me that if God is love, then God would be heartbroken by sending someone to hell. i am not saying He doesn’t put people there, i am just saying He probably doesn’t take joy in it.


** i am just saying He probably doesn’t take joy in it.**

Don’t worry. God said so in so many words. “As I live, I take no pleasure in the death of a sinner, but that he should turn from his unrighteousness and live.”


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