Okay, so I married my husband almost 10 years ago and everyone know when you marry your husband, you marry his family. I was expecting his mom dad and sister, but not cousins who live across the country (whom I have seriously only met 5 times).
Now this cousin latched onto me, she felt a closeness to me that I truly can’t understand, we have very little in common. She calls me and talks to me for an hour straight and I can’t say a word in edgewise. She has a drinking problem and has called me drunk. Because we are 3 hours difference, she calles sometimes at midnight her time because she knows I am awake. I would let her speak to me for the long conversations, but it got to be too much last year and so I got caller id.
I don’t really want to go into problems that she has. I will say that she has made life choices that are detrimental and I feel they have a lot to do with what she is going through now. I have even yelled at her about mistakes before in years past, and she would stop calling me for a month, because she knew I was right. But I don’t feel I could correct her now. She is going through a divorce right now, so she just wants to call me and vent, but I have 2 kids and am pregnant with my third. I honestly don’t have time for her. She called a few weeks ago aand left a message. I decided she was srunk because the message was so garbled. I had my good friend listen to it one day when she was over and she totally agreed. I didn’t return that phone call. don’t call me drunk!
She also calls sometimes and doesn’t leave messages. I sometimes go back through caller id on my phone to find a number so I won’t have to look it up, to call back someone who left a message, but if someone doesn’t leave a message, I don’t call them back. Am I supposed to be clarvoyant?
She called again on Valentine’s Day. This is the day that I cleaned the house made dinner for my family and for my friend who is suffering a miscarriage, and then sewed an entire Pocahontas costume for my daughter to wear the next day at school (I was up till midnight) I was exhausted but babysat two friends kids the next day, and I was so tired that night that I didn’t even clean the house. Today is my day to clean. I did not call her back, because I honestly don’t feel like it. I am so tired. I am sick and tired with pregnancy and trying to be a good mom to my kids.
So the cousin calles my SIL and whines at her for an hour and asks her why I never return her calls. My SIL calls me and says, I know its annoying, but she is family. I say, “She’s YOUR family, not mine. I have a sister who is recovery from major surgery and calling me about how much pain she is in. I will take that call, she is my sister, but your cousin wants to call me drunk and whine about everything. I love you, but you and your brother need to take those phone calls. I have enough going on.” I siad this lovingly to don’t yell at me about being mean to my SIL, she understood my exasperation.
So What do you all think. Am I handling this right? Should I continue to avoid her calls and let my husband call her back?