Tales of two weddings and baptisms

I need advice! I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do, as a Catholic, in this situtation.

I have two very close friends that will be getting married within the next year. Neither friend is Catholic, nor are they even baptized.

One friend, who I will refer to as A, is marrying a non-practicing Catholic. They are not planning to get married in the Church (they’re having a civil ceremony instead). She’s mentioned that they may someday have their marriage blessed in the Church, but one the reasons why they’re chosing to not follow it at this time is the groom’s mother.

The groom’s mother told A that she should convert to Catholism so they can married in the Church (which is good), but once converted she would never be expected to ever set foot in the Church again not would be expected to adher to it (which is bad). That makes me so upset!

A has admitted to me that other than her future MIL, I’m the only other Catholic she knows. I’m of the opinion that unless her conversion to Catholism is genuine and sincere, it would have no merit, but I don’t know if that’s in line with the Church’s teaching on this. I also don’t know if I should be attending the wedding, seeing how it will be outside of the Church and one of the parties is Catholic. As far as I know, other than the disparity there is no reason that might prevent them from getting married in the Church.

My other friend, T, is marrying someone from an Eastern rite. She is also not baptized. Her finace’s mother wants very much for them to get married in a church, so she’s decided to convert for the sole purpose of marriage. She is planning on getting baptized in the United Church on Canada, which does baptize in the name of the Father, Son and Spirit. But will the Church recognize her baptism, if her motives is not because of a sincere desire to seek Christ, but because she wishes to appease her future MIL?

Any advice that could be provided would be most helpful.


Since no one has responded.

A baptism, or any sacrament that is undergone with the intention of not having the sacrament, does not confer the sacrament. To be baptized and never intend to set foot in a Church again, except for the wedding, would probably qualify as this. The marraige would not be valid either because she has to promise to accept children willingly and bring them up in the Church. Hard to do if she never intends on coming back.

What is conferred with these sacraments are mortal sins. To attend these shenanigens would imply that you support them in some way. As such I would strongly urge you not to attend the first case.

The second case is more open to what you feel is right. Only God can truly know her soul.

On a side note, especially for couple A, if they do get “married” outside the Church you statistically have a %52 chance of getting an opportunity to go to another one of her weddings. Heck there is a %26 chance you may get two more weddings out of her. Sorry for the dose of reality, but marraiges that aren’t founded on God, he did afterall make marraiges to reflect himself, usually fail.

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