Talking to parish priest


My question concerns what is the appropriate way to talk to a priest about what

you think may be a misunderstanding, either way, between you and the priest.

I thought to pray asking for wisdom in this matter.

Also, it occurred to me to maybe find out what* is* the proper way to approach a priest,

It is not anything to be confessed, I think it may be a misunderstanding and I would like

to bring it up so we can talk, so there is not this tension.

I can not call and make an appointment, he is very busy. I have asked a couple times

if I could ask him some questions as I will be confirmed in couple weeks. There never

seemed to be a time to do this as yet. Now, on top of it, there is this tension and

so …I am uncertain how to approach.

thank you


simply keep trying to set up an appointment through the secretary, if your parish priest is indeed very busy, when you get a chance to approach him, simply be honest state what you have stated here that you feel there is tension between the two of you and feel there is a misunderstanding and would like to talk about what ever the situation is.

And indeed keep praying for the wisdom needed.

now if it is as you stated that you can not call and set up an appointment, you may have to consider asking him after mass or when you find him about the parish when he is not super busy, if he would consider setting up a time to meet when he is available so you may talk about what ever it is that is on your mind. emphasis it is important to you an the sooner the better for the appointment.

If that fails you can always compose a short one page letter and mail it to him or hand deliever it to him.


Just talk to him like you would talk to any other person .


Wait after mass and talk to him then, when everyone else has left, if necessary.


Thank all of you for replies. I pray this thread may be useful to others.


It is much better to make an appointment. After Mass, there is much more likelihood for being brushed off because the priest has other places and things to go too. If everyone “spoke” to the priest after Mass, he would never leave. If there is some problem, it would be better to make an appointment. I’m speaking from experience.


Leave the poor man alone. Accept that he may have certain quirks or defects of character. Pray for him.

Our poor priests are worked to death. No matter what they say or do, someone isn’t happy with them and lets them know it. They get anonymous letters. Cranks rat them out to the bishop. People always want to dump on them. It’s a miracle they don’t lock themselves in their rooms every night and drink themselves into a room-spinning coma.

Whatever it is that’s bothering you, accept it - even if it means mortifying your will. Leave the poor man alone.


There is nothing wrong with trying to iron out a problem with a priest and make the relationship better between a priest and parishioner. OP didn’t give what the situation was or the problem but seemed to want work it out with the priest. Op wasn’t blaming him, just wanted a better relationship.

closed #9

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