praying for recovering from a tasering by the cops in South Florida. This happened almost four years ago. My brain is still scrambled.

From time to time I get painful convulsions.

There was an unfortunate incident, I was off medication because I couldn’t afford it, everything was crazy. The cops lied; I was taken to a psych facility and they didn’t report the tasering, said that I raised my fists and threatened to kill them–pure b.s.–my fists were clenched at my side “holding the hand of God,” something I had the habit of at that time.

Later they denied it happened and tried to confuse me. The Sargeant “stood by” the two deputies involved. My therapist called them “a coupla cowboys.”

I flipped over in a somersault and landed on my head on a tile floor. They put an “ouchy strip” on my back shoulder. Pure police brutality. I cannot forgive it because I don’t have the power, can’t even focus–this young cop is out of control and should go to jail. I have his card, I know his name.

You don’t have to pray for me, I just need to get this out. My son was hurt more by the tasering than by what I did. Now I can never make it up to him and the sequence of events that followed destroyed his life. He, also, is still in recovery.

Please pray for him.

Praying that the Lord may strengthen your son and grant him all necessary graces.

O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fountain of Mercy for us, I trust in You!

The Lord keeps telling me I will be dying soon.

My husband was a social revolutionary. He got rid of the evidence: me, and my son. Now he works for the government.

You can thank him for the inroads that Islam is making into the fabric of this nation. We took a couple of Lebanese government members on a tour of Manhattan in 1996, including, of course, the WTC. One was Christian, the other, Muslim. I can’t say any more, just that I was in fear.

I once admired those who took action, such as Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Now I admire the “holy fools”, like Dorothy Day, who stay in prayer. People who try to do right according to human logic make stupid mistakes.

Please keep praying for my son.

Praying for your health & recovery.

I am worried about you if you feel “the Lord keeps telling you I will be dying soon”
Please talk to someone in person about this, your priest and psychiatrist or therapist.

***Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death


You said you were off your medication before, because you couldn’t afford it. What about now? Are you able to get the treatment you need?

Praying for your intention.

I am taking my medication now–the medication in question before cost 1000 per month and I had no coverage. My medication now costs only 10 a month on my medicare insurance plan.

I would not have revealed any of this, jeapordizing my relationship with my ex, if my mother had not led me to desperation over the transfer of assets, in which he has been delinquent. He promised to pay, and I was satisfied, and she stuck her nose into it. I have prayed to Mother Mary, as I do about once a day, for intervention between me and my mother, who has no understanding of privacy issues, little understanding of right and wrong, and no guidance from my father, who has cognitive damage because of a stroke. I was feeling beyond desperation this morning and, after talking with my mother and learning that she had “discussed” the transfer of assets with my husband, felt used by her once again, it’s hard to explain exactly what she does but I can only say it feels like rape.

And I have discussed these feelings and thoughts about death and dying with my therapist, she only sees me for 10 minutes at a time, she put me in the hospital.

I have been seeing a nurse practitioner instead of a psychiatrist as no doctors are taking new patients in this area, I tried calling around about 4 times and got the same response every time, sometimes not even a return phone call. I don’t know what the problem is. I got into a fight with my practitioner, who is often so brusque that I feel she is being rude, and she threatened to discharge me from the practice. So I am seeing the psychiatrist in charge next time, who also only sees patients for about 10 minutes, 10 to 20 I am hoping.

The medications themselves can cause thoughts of death and even suicidal ideation. When the nurse p. put me in the hospital it was because I had thoughts the Lord was telling me to kill myself, I know where these came from, the very first time she saw me the nurse p. asked me If I wanted to go into the hospital and it upset me so much I became suicidal. I have been told to stay out of the hospital. I have been over-exposed to hospitals.


Please pray for me for a hedge of protection.

Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.


Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.


Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.



The psychiatrist sees you only for 10 min., but what about the psychologist/counselor?

no counselor, this service is unavailable to me in this area, when I asked the insurance to make a special search for one for me the two providers were remote, I called one anyway and she said, “are you the 52-year old woman who’s going through a divorce?” It was repeated as if it had been said impatiently, the woman gave me bad directions, completely mixed up, and referred to the “bogus beige Honda” parked outside her house (I drive a beige Honda); she saw people in her home, had the t.v. on in the background; maybe I lack humility but she just didn’t seem like somebody who could help. My issues are specific to this area I live in.

MOREOVER, I figure, why throw good money after bad? My woes started with a therapist unskilled to treat my serious condition at that time; my second therapist was into far Eastern mysticism and my third, a Catholic, I saw for six years in Florida and much of it I spent in quaking terror. He would get mad at me and I didn’t know why. I’m still trying to figure out THAT relationship. My automatic instinct is to be in touch with a therapist but I have had so many bad experiences that I am very wary and also–as I said as a rule I am being told either they don’t accept my insurance or they’re not taking new patients or they just don’t return the call. I don’t really KNOW why, I saw a doctor here 20 years ago (I checked–they still had the records on me); when I was terribly ill and at that time he said, “go back to Florida.”

an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. without a therapist I have no one to engage with and sit like I am right now, up late, can’t sleep, with nothing. No husband, my son is absent, I tried to fix my thoughts on the admirable and lovely, I said all the prayers I could, read some of the tracts on this site, I probably won’t sleep for hours and I don’t know what to DO
I did e-mail my friend who did the “pink mantra” and tell her in no uncertain terms that she needs to leave Eastern mysticism behind and explained to her that I am scared by what she did, between being lifted up here in prayer and taking this pro-active step to help a friend gone astray I am feeling much better. But I can’t seem to connect here with ANYTHING other than the hope of joining RCIA in September…which is a long time away.

my health problems are healing. it’s a true miracle. but I still feel lost. Maybe that’s the Lord’s purpose. I just need to rest. I’ve said before many times recently, “resting can be painful”–like laying around the house with a broken leg or in the hospital. I still deal with all the petty frustrations of my remaining condition/s, but I have much to be grateful for right now.


If you have chronic insomnia, you might want to mention that to your doctor, because that can also cause depression. Insomnia can cause depression, and depression can cause insomnia.

Lord God, touch this place with Your gentle hand.
Let Your peace pour into the soreness,
wash away the pain, heal the damage and give new strength by Your Holy Spirit.
Help us to forgive, to renounce any bitterness or resentment and receive the healing touch of Jesus. Amen.

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