Teaching our children safe sex


Of course I am hoping my children will abstain from sex until they are in a loving, committed relationship. But I plan on teaching them about safe sex and contraceptives, in addition to teaching them about abstaining.

I would rather have a sexually active adult child that is ALIVE and healthy, than a sexually active adult child that didn’t have the proper education and is fighting a deadly disease.


Safe sex is baloney!
Trust me I know.
While using condoms, contraceptives, oral dams, etc., you still run the risk of catching hepatitis, HPV and candida which can all be spread from “just kissing” much less all out sex with protection. There is no such thing as safe sex. I’m celibate gay and I know. When I was “active” I used condoms (that never broke) and no matter how safe I was, I ended up catching horrible stuff.

Abstinence is the only safe sex.
Don’t believe the media…safe sex is a lie.


I hope you mean the Sacrament of Matrimony!


I hope so, too.

The only advice my mother ever gave me was, “If you think you can be ready for sex before you are ready for marriage, you’re wrong about that - and don’t let anybody kid you otherwise. You will know that you are ready for sex when you are married to the man you want to have sex with, and ready to raise your children.”

It’s all she ever had to say, because I knew right away that she was right.


Thank you so much for your courageous witness. I’m so sorry that you had to learn this the hard way. I will keep you in my prayers.


As HailMary pointed out, the “loving committed relationship” idea is a canard. You are either married or you are not in a committed relationship.

The problem with sex education is that it tends to give the implict message that the mature children are the ones who have experienced a sexual relationship. Whilst there will be a token nod to the idea of chastity, all the serious discussion is by and of the girls who have had sex. Boys are a bit more sensible and know casual sex when they see it, but they also know that it is the more successful boys who can get laid, which will always be the case, and no amount of propaganda or education will change that fact.

If your teenaged children are so unintelligent that they don’t know what a condom is then, frankly, there is no hope for them anyway. Sex “education” is nothing of the sort. It is propaganda.


Ditto. May faithfully bearing those burdens bring yourself and others to everalasting life.



Wow, I’m sorry for you! Truly! But you cannot “catch” Chlamydia, HPV, PID and many others from just kissing.

And I don’t trust the media. That is why I do my own research on STDs, pregnancy, abortion, etc… and have been for the past 10+ years. A good source of information is the CDC website.


I am just stunned at your naviety. What would happen if you find yourself in a marriage to a man with an STD and who continually mistreats you verbally? Would you stay with that man because your mom said to on your wedding night?

It is lack of education in the Catholic homes that is spreading STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Just because we are Catholic doesn’t mean that we cannot inform our children on all things sexual.

And no, I don’t believe that a loving, committed relationship is necessarily marriage.


My husband was also a virgin on our wedding night, and he thinks I am the Queen of Heaven - at least I suppose he does, because he worships the ground I walk on. :extrahappy:

And no, I don’t believe that a loving, committed relationship is necessarily marriage.

Then you’re deluding yourself - if you are living with a man sexually, but not married, then he is already half way out the door - he is only staying with you until someone he can marry comes into his life.

(You are not able to be married because you have shown yourself willing to have sex without marriage. He hasn’t noticed, yet, that he himself has a double-standard. When/if he does notice that he has a double standard, he will repent of his sins of fornication with you, throw you out, become a born-again virgin, and start chastely dating a sweet virgin girl who has never in her whole life compromised her Catholic values. They will marry and have 12 happy kids. You will become nothing more than a past, and deeply regretted, mistake.)


Frankly, I am stunned that you say you are Catholic, when you seem to be picking and choosing which parts of the Church’s teachings you want to agree with and follow.



The Church teaches that sex before marriage is a mortal sin. It also teaches that contraceptives, and abortion are mortal sins. If you teach these things to your children you could be endangering both their salvation & your own. You’d be risking sending your children to hell for eternity.



You took the words right out of my mouth. I was quickly scrolling down to say the same thing. You cannot identify yourself as a Roman Catholic (poster’s profile) and acknowledge sex in a committed realtionship and not refer to marriage. So many identify themselves as Catholics but don’t want to hold to Catholic teachings…:shrug:


The moment you speak to them about “safe sex” you have doomed them to promiscouity and everything that goes along with it. When the pressure mounts all they will remember was Mom taught them how they could do “it” with no repercussions.


Stay a virgin until Marriage isn’t impossible its just hard, like everything else worth doing is. My husband and I were both virgins until our wedding night.

Safe Sex is a Myth. There is no way I’d risk the health of my children to safe sex. They will be taught the beauty of martial sex and that sex before marriages is a mortal sin.

I would suggest you do some better research before you go calling people naive.

In 1993 the University of Texas analyzed the results of 11 different studies that had tracked the effectiveness of condoms to prevent transmission of the AIDS virus. The average condom failure rate in the 11 studies for preventing transmission of the AIDS virus was 31%.

A variety of studies have found that condoms have an “annual failure rate” of 10% to 36% when it comes to preventing pregnancy.

STDs are frequently passed through “skin to skin” contact even when condoms are used. This can happen because the bacterial or viral germs that cause many serious STDs (such as human papillomavirus, chlamydia, herpes, and syphilis) do not infect just one place on your body. They may infect anywhere in the male or female genital areas.

The United States’ Centers for Disease Control (CDC) reports that 56 million Americans have an incurable STD. That means 1 in 5 Americans are infected!

12 million people get a new STD each year.

33,000 people get a new STD every day and 22,000 of them are 15 to 24 years old.

25% of High School students will be infected with an STD before graduation.


The overwhelming number of Pregnant women I counseled had been practicing “safe sex”


Here’s a good anology for the “safe sex” argument:

Kids, you shouldn’t drink alcoholic beverages before it is legal for you to do so. However, if you are going to drink anyway then let me show you the proper technique for mixing cocktails.

We’d never give kids these kind of mixed messages for things like underage drinking or drug use, so why are some people foolish enough to do it with something like sex that is even more dangerous?

If you wish to have sex with a woman, but you don’t want to marry her then you don’t love her. It’s that simple.


Good one. :thumbsup:

Here’s another one:

Hey, kids, don’t drink and drive. But, hey, me telling you won’t stop you because it’s just natural, so if you’ve had a few, and you’re getting your Daddy’s car out to go joy-riding, make sure to buckle up your seatbelt - and here’s the list of check-stops to avoid, because you’d rather kill someone than get caught by the police - it’s less jail time.

We’d never give kids these kind of mixed messages for things like underage drinking or drug use, so why are some people foolish enough to do it with something like sex that is even more dangerous?

You’ve got that right!! :thumbsup:

If you wish to have sex with a woman, but you don’t want to marry her then you don’t love her. It’s that simple.

Good point.


I take it you’re one of those people that would be beyond SHOCKED to learn about chlymedia of the mouth, gonnorhea of the mouth… from kissing. Thanks to an “enlightened” certain president, kids don’t believe oral sex is sex now and you should see the diseases that used to be just STD’s that were found “down there” that are now coming upwards… if you follow my meaning. :blush:

Safe sex is never safe and what’s considered a committed relationship no longer has real meaning because the crack in the door is still there for a “way out” if things start to go sour. At least with marriage most reasonable, sensible people take to heart the vows and try to work things out when things start to go sour and can recognize that all relationships need work at all times.


I live in the state of Florida, and the Florida Department of Health recognizes that when our young people are given the message that is given above, then, in most cases, they will go ahead and have “safe sex”, which is not safe at all.

Many STD’s can be caught while using condoms; and most of all they will not be hearing the truth about the virtue of chastity and what blessings can be had by obeying the Lord.

Having volunteered as a counselor at a pregnancy crisis center in
my area for five years, I attended an excellent workshop given by a Christian man. This workshop is funded by the Florida Department of Health and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. They will help with literature for any public school that chooses to implement this program that advocates abstinence only. They do this because they found out that the mixed message given to our youth does not work. They present these workshops in the hopes that schools and youth ministers in churches will want to give these talks to the youth.

They also have youth rallies that parents and teen-agers attend together.

This website tells more about it:


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