I’ve started threads before about my problem of being in tears during every Sunday morning Mass. It finally got to be so much for me that eversince November or December, I’ve not been going. I only attend the Saturday evening Mass, because strangely for some reason I don’t cry then. It has only come on me when I go in the morning. So, because of this, I’ve been staying home and not attending Mass at all during the weeks that I can’t go Saturday night. I feel awful, because I know missing Mass is a mortal sin. What I’m asking is…is it a mortal sin in my case? My reason for staying home is because of my fear of tears. It has become a form of anxiety, a deep fear of knowing what I go through emotionally. When I stay home (one or two Sundays a month) I fully regard Sunday as a day for God. I never go shopping, I never work, and I say a rosary and a divine chaplet, as a way of trying to make reparation for my staying home. I spend my Sunday quietly and alone and with full knowledge that I should have gone that week, but just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I know it’s wrong for me to let my anxiety over fear of tears control me, but I admit that it has. My main concern is whether or not this is mortal sin in my particular case. I realize your answers might be that only a priest can determine this for me, but even more than a priest I know Jesus sees the heart. My heart knows I should not miss Mass, but my anxiety keeps me home. It helps just to talk about it and to see what your thoughts and advice are.
I don’t know whether ot not it’s a mortal sin, but it’s better to err on the side of caution. I’ve gone to Sunday Morning Mass after being awake for something like 26 hours, but I also don’t know the exact situation. Go to confession anyway, even it wasn’t sinful, the priest can still help you. God bless you. Prayers.
Your post is a little unclear - did the tears come first, or the anxiety? Are you anxious to the point of avoiding other situations as well, or only Sunday Mass?
Either way, have you sought help by way of counselling for your anxiety?
My thoughts as well.
You need to ask a priest about this.
If you have an actual anxiety disorder, it may not be a mortal sin per se. Is there a reason that the Sunday morning Mass causes you more anxiety than Saturday night? Is Sunday busier?
No, the anxiety has come because of the tears. I’m only affected at Sunday morning Mass. No other situation causes me such deep feeling. I haven’t sought counseling, because it is nothing that I could get help for. I just don’t really see how talking to a psychiatrist would make it so I no longer feel the Mass so deeply to the point of tears. If anything, talking to a priest would be more what I would seek, but I haven’t done that either.
I never used to go through this. I was able to go to morning Mass and be just fine. Then all of a sudden, it started happening, every week, since probably a year or so ago now, or at least several months. I have no anxiety in my life other than this. There is nothing to make me feel so emotionally affected during the Mass other than just being there. Something happens. The music, even the silence before the service starts, just the quietness of being there, in the dimly lit church, the stillness of knowing I am the nearest to God here, and it is enough to cause me tears that quietly, unnoticeably flow, and it lasts throughout practically the entire time. I hate feeling this way, because I’m in the presence of others, and I just don’t feel comfortable being in tears in front of people. I don’t mind if I’m alone. I’m affected just looking at the statues of Mary, Joseph, and the Child Jesus, and the near life-size statue of the risen Jesus on the altar, His hands outstretched to me. I can only describe how I feel when I look at Him as a deep longing to leave the loudness and darkness of this world to be with Him in the peace and lightness of eternity. I also feel overwhelmed by the love I know He has for me, for all of us, and it is enough to start the tears. I know, too, from what I’ve read, that I’m not the only one who goes through this. I just wish I could feel this way without having to actually cry over it.
Why do you feel fearful of weeping during Mass?
The anxiety isn’t social. I don’t mind being around a lot of people. What I mind is having a lot of other people seeing me in tears. I don’t really know why I’m affected at the morning Mass and not the evening. Often, even on regular days, I’ve found that there’s something in me that makes me feel more emotional in the morning than at any other time of day.
It seems like a blessing that you have this deep realization of God’s love for you. We should all feel the same way, and it’s a testimony to your openness of heart that you do.
That said. I would highly recommend that you go to confession (because you can’t receive unless you do, after missing Mass) and discuss it with your priest. Then go to mass.
Not feeling comfortable being in tears in front of people. is not a reason to miss mass. Jesus wasn’t too comfortable on the cross.
But see what your priest has to say about it.
Hmm, I don’t know the answer, but know that it isn’t wrong to be moved to tears. Is there an area Mass on Sunday night available to you. Around where I live, Sunday night at 5p is a thing at a lot of the parishes…might be a second option when you can’t do Saturday.
If you are feeling more emotional in the morning than at other times during the day even when you do not go to Mass, you may be suffering from what is known as morning depression. I think you may benefit by speaking with a clinical psychologist about these feelings.
I don’t know if this will help much, but I just wanted to say that I can relate to the feeling of sometimes being emotionally overcome in quiet places and times, and then that causing anxiety. I have battled agoraphobia for a long time, and I realized a few years ago that one of my triggers while driving was if I had a lot of intense things going on in my life, then when I’d be out on the streets during lonely deserted times such as at night, with only driving to occupy my mind I would feel overwhelmed by my own thoughts and feelings. And then I’d get panicky. So I will keep you in my prayers that you will get relief from the distress you’re in, and the dilemma it’s causing you with your Mass attendance.
Please dont get insulted by this question, do you have any alcohol the night before Mass?
I have cried at Sunday morning Mass before.
Yes, it can feel a little embarrassing.
But the way I see it,
if other people are going to judge me for it,
let them judge.
If crying at Sunday morning Mass
started feeling like an extreme thing for me,
and Saturday or Sunday evening Mass was easier,
I would switch to Saturday or Sunday evening Mass.
That said, I agree with the advice to speak with your priest in Confession
and perhaps see a counselor or therapist.
I agree with everyone that you should go to confession and discuss with a priest.
I’ve only had one serious experience with tears. It was at a Women’s Day Retreat. We were singing the Lord’s Prayer and I was simply overwhelmed. It was a good feeling, but very embarrassing when I couldn’t stop. The crying continued into our luncheon. A friend of mine told me about “the gift of tears”. I looked it up and began to feel better about it. Perhaps, you too have been blessed with “the gift of tears”.
Jesus, I trust in You.
God Bless You
You know that the saints have talked of something called “the GIFT of tears”? Try to see it that way.
It’s fashionable in our world to mock strong emotions and to be embarrassed or fearful of being emotional in public. Please don’t - Christ wasn’t afraid to show his emotions, to the point of sweating blood in Gethsemane.
Thank you for sharing that.
Many years ago I was acquainted with a lady who received the gift of tears. She said it embarrassed her and she asked the Lord to take it away from her. He did. Then she asked for Him to give it back to her.
Yes, there is a spiritual charism called the gift of tears (Pope Francis talked about this gift in one of his homilies, if you’d like to Google it), but if this gift is from the Holy Spirit, it would never cause so much anxiety as to miss mass. Please do see a priest as others have urged. He could give you spiritual counseling so that you can overcome this fear of Sunday mass. It is very important that you seek help for this.
Never let tears keep you from Mass. There is such a thing as the gift of tears. God loves it when you begin your day going to Mass to worship Him. He is changing your heart to the fullest and this is where the tears are coming from. It is a cleansing as God gives us tears to wash away the pain. What a blessing to have had God remove the hardness from your heart. Please return to Mass.
Have you ever heard the song, “Change My Heart Oh God”? Simple but beautiful.