Hi, well to be straightforward, I’ve had problems with impurity ever since I was young
I don’t know what triggered it, no impure acts have been committed/witnessed by/to me when I was a child, but for some reason it’s just there. Even before I knew what masturbation was/that it was a sin, I was doing it.
It has vastly improved from 4 years ago (when it was at it’s high) but I still desperately want to get rid of it completely. I have no problem going without it, I’ve gone 2 months+, but it just seems that randomly I give in (the temptation of looking at impure images don’t aid with the whole situation). I’m a very faithful person, though I haven’t been to confession in over a year (almost 2).
Spring break just started and I went 2 months without committing the act, but I gave in a few days ago and have done it multiple times. I always feel remorseful after but this hasn’t happened (doing it multiple times) in a very long time. And it never lasts long, it seems as if after the whole thing is committed (5 minutes or so) I immediately regret it and stop. I know the trigger to this (an indirect video).
I know that going to confession will aid me in my quest for stopping, but next to that, I’d like to know what you’ve used in the past to not only stop masturbation, but impure thoughts/lust as a whole.
I’m terrified of death and going to hell. Everytime I think of it I start crying/becoming depressed. Please pray for and help me. I’m a teenager, I know I will make mistakes but this is eating me inside and I know that I need to put a stop to it completely, so again, tips of any kind will help.
Oh and to note, this has always happened in the night time (around 12am+, I sleep very late as I’m a night person). I also wear my communion cross and a saints bracelet (though I tend to remove the bracelet. It’s horrible, I know. But in the past wearing multiple things (the scapular, more bracelets, etc. has helped immensely, I just can’t seem to find them anymore :()
Thank you in advance. I desperately want to change. God bless.