During this pandemic, I’ve struggled with staying positive and not getting constantly upset. I was successful with the help of my kind mother (a social worker) for a month or two with feeling at peace with what is going on and asking God for help and being thankful, but recently my emotions have been spiraling down again. I feel guilty asking my mother for help again, because I don’t want to make her sad or become a nuisance and (on a more egotistical side) I’m afraid of seeming emotionally weak and depressed.
But I am feeling sadder and more hopeless than before. I’m losing contact with friends because I am afraid and I have been starting to fall behind in online schoolwork because I constantly feel like crying. I miss school and I miss playing in band, working with my friends on the robotics team, things that give me a purpose and satisfaction. I even can’t get my drivers license despite having everything ready and 6 hours under my belt. I feel incredibly lonely.Things that have always made me feel better (listening to my favorite songs, painting, writing my own prayers to God) haven’t been helping like they used to.
And to make this even worse, my parents won’t stop talking about moving. We’ve lived where we are since I was in 2nd grade and I love it here. I never want to move away. But with me going to college in a couple years, my parents are going to move when I leave since the taxes here are too high. I understand this, but they wont stop talking about it! Discussing where my cat will live, asking me what college I want to go to, what they need to do to our house to make it worth more, etc. I feel like if everything were normal (no coronavirus, just having a normal teen life), I would be excited and not be bothered by their discussions. But having that on top all my other emotional struggles during this time is unbearable. And when I tell my mother that these discussions bother me very much, she tells me that I am being too sensitive. Maybe this is true, but it certainly doesn’t make it any easier. I spent hours in my room crying yesterday. My parents don’t know about that.
I feel like giving up and I have no one to talk to. I don’t even have any siblings so I have no one sharing this experience. I feel incredibly lonely and sad. I’ve been praying every night asking God for help, but I don’t know what to do. I need advice.