Teenage daughter moving in with boyfriend - help!

#21

[quote="sherimarie, post:19, topic:178451"]
I will be praying for a good out come for your daughter.

We are going through a similar experience in our family so thanks to everybody for your advice, I am listening closely.

[/quote]

Thank you for your prayers. I'll pray for your family as well :)

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#22

My girl moved out tonight. My heart is breaking. Please pray for us.

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#23

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!!!

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#24

My oldest of the seven children I have moved in with her boyfriend about four years ago she still living with him to this day they have a three year old son. I feel very saddend at times but my arms have always been wide open.I feel all I can do is pray and welcome her with love. Her boyfriend is very anti religion his parent are Baptist or something its a very difficult and sad situation.For some reason my daughters(4 of them) are just not interested in faith and I pray continually for them every day.
I'm finding it very hard to bring children up with faith these days. Sometimes I just have to stop and hold my arms in the air and ask the lord why. why do my kids do theses things and why do they not have faith.There was a time when we use to sit down altogether at bed time and pray and now I just feel despair.Sometimes I think Satan has single handedly destroyed my family.

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#25

JRPO I feel your pain and am so sorry you are going through these difficulties as well.

This was on my daily calendar the day after my daughter moved out:

“I will put my Spirit into your children. My blessing will be like a stream of water flowing over your family.” The meditation – The God Who made your children will hear your petitions. He has promised to do so. After all, He loves them more than you do.

I keep asking God to renew the graces my daughter has received in the Sacraments throughout the years. I hope they will bring her back one day. Until then, I ask St. Monica and St. Augustine to pray for us – the mother who prayed two decades for her son to return to the Church, and the son who not only returned, but became a doctor of the church.

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#26

Didi I will make a pledge to pray every day to St Monica and St Augustine For your daughter and for mine

:blessyou:

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#27

Many good responses. LADA sums up my thoughts.

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#28

Lada I agree with most of what you said but you know I don’t think its about moral high ground. Parents feel alot of pain when their children move away from the faith and make bad moral choices, its more the hurt.

When you want whats best for your kids and you know that the catholic faith is a beautiful and wonderful thing and somehow they(your kids) reject that…well as Didi has stated, its painful.

I think your family felt deserted and their way of dealing with the pain was to reject you. Thats not a good thing to reject you but they had to deal with alot of pain.

Cut them a bit of slack. They love you very much I’m sure and no doubt they always did.

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#29

My dh and I lived together before marriage was not right but there were many reasons for it other than the bit L-U-S-T one of which was the relationship with his parents. As they nagged and pushed he strayed further away from the Church. When he cut ties with them we started making better decisions on our own like being celibate even though we were living together. We both had been married before and had received our lack of form anullments and it was a big enough city as to avoid gossip and scandal.

The moral of this story IMHO is that while it is not good for anyone to not be in a state of Grace - sometimes we all have our own path to God and if we do not find it for ourselves but instead go through the motions just because we are doing what Mom and Dad want us to do then did our intentions and purity of heart really ever place us in a State of Grace?

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#30

I am in the same boat with both my daughters. I have one who is now pregnant and lives with her fiance, and the other is moving to another state tomorrow with a boy she met on line. The second is using her sister’s situation as an excuse for her decision.

One of the things I haven’t read in this post yet is, as a parent, how much guilt is felt that they haven’t done enough to make sure their child does not make this devastating decision. I am trying so hard to come to terms with this and ask myself daily where I went wrong. My children were raised in the Catholic faith, and were awesome and respectful (to everyone around them AND themselves). It seems once they left the nest, they are straying into dangerous territory.

I empathize with those going through this trauma and will add my own prayers to yours that the final outcome is a good one, and that we continue to have the strength to do what is right.

No one said parenting was easy, but I don’t recall being told how much pain there can be.

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#31

[quote="Hyker, post:30, topic:178451"]
I am in the same boat with both my daughters. I have one who is now pregnant and lives with her fiance, and the other is moving to another state tomorrow with a boy she met on line. The second is using her sister's situation as an excuse for her decision.

One of the things I haven't read in this post yet is, as a parent, how much guilt is felt that they haven't done enough to make sure their child does not make this devastating decision. I am trying so hard to come to terms with this and ask myself daily where I went wrong. My children were raised in the Catholic faith, and were awesome and respectful (to everyone around them AND themselves). It seems once they left the nest, they are straying into dangerous territory.

I empathize with those going through this trauma and will add my own prayers to yours that the final outcome is a good one, and that we continue to have the strength to do what is right.

No one said parenting was easy, but I don't recall being told how much pain there can be.

[/quote]

Just from the point of the child that has gone through it - it is not always that the parents didn't teach. Sometimes they taught too well. It is the story of the prodigal son/daughter.. I feel as if I just had a conversation very similar to this with my eleven year old step daughter about lying to parents. Sometimes we make decisions that take us out of the Grace of God and the communion of the Church. This is a choice that we make. We turn on our backs on God, He never turns His back on us. Luckily with our beliefs in the Great Mother Church it is very simple to come back to God's grace and the communion of Saints when she/he makes that choice. There is no reason to feel guilt - your children are adults; if you have done the best you can then just be the example and be loving. As long as the door is open they will come back when the Holy Spirit intercedes and she is able to hear and feel it in her heart.

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closed #32
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