All in good fun:
Secretary: Good morning, Msgr. Marini’s office.
Expert: Is he in?
Secretary: May I ask who is calling?
Expert: I’m an expert.
Secretary: Pardon me?
Expert: You heard me I’m an expert on the Mass!
Secretary: The Monsignor is in conference. May I have your name and the organization you represent?
**Expert: ** I need to talk to him so the Masses will be perfect when the Pope visits the United States. If he doesn’t receive my council the Masses will be defective.
Secretary: Your name and organization please? Your background?
Expert: Well I did read the GIRM and Redemptionis Sacramentum, I watch EWTN a lot and I do contribute to the Catholic Answers Forums quite a bit.
Secretary: How did you get this number?
Expert: I just need five minutes to outline the problems these Masses will have if the Monsignor will not listen to and follow my input. Only I can give such perfect input! If he listens to ME, the Masses will be perfect!
Secretary: The monsignor has an entire team of experts he consults on a daily basis. I think the Pope is in good hands.
Expert: You’re not listening! Only I can give him the advice necessary for a perfect Mass! Only my personal tastes are perfect! Will the Pope be wearing a maniple for instance?!?