Tell an Outrageous Lie about the Previous Poster, Vol. III


#1

1Lord1Faith was so fascinated with his hero, Goober Pyle, that he drove to North Carolina to meet him…drove all over…couldn’t find Mayberry…“If there’s no Mayberry, then maybe Goober doesn’t exist either”, he thought…something snapped…

Today, you can find 1Lord1Faith at ‘Wally’s Service’ in ‘Mayberry’…he took his life’s savings and bought several country acres at an intersection somewhere deep in North Carolina…hand-painted a ‘Now entering Mayberry’ sign, and built, from memory, ‘Wally’s Service’, complete with gas pumps…he’ll be happy to sell you a pop, wash your windshield, and put air in your tires, and every other word out of his mouth is “Shazaam!”…


Curmudgeons Episode VIII The Last Java
#2

"The Lord rebuke you."
Jude 1:9


#3

Boldlygo is trying to find a publisher for the book he recently wrote. It’s called “North Carolina Day Trips”. He sums up two decades of work he put into the book: “From Uncle Fester’s Homeopathic Foot Cures along the Appalachian Trail, to Mrs. Kitty’s Homemade Kites in Kitty Hawk, and a make believe Mayberry in between, this detailed written account of my favorite day trips in North Carolina will surely leave you wanting more.”


#4

1Lord1Faith has announced the filming of a new movie he is directing. The film is called “Appalachian Mountain High” and is the story of Boldlygo and his friends from Mayberry hiking the mountains of western North Carolina. It stars Charley Sheen as Sheriff Andy Taylor, Gilbert Gottfried as Barney Fife, Melissa McCarthy as Aunt Bee, Meryl Streep as Helen Krump, Tom Cruise as Opie, the late Ted Kennedy as Otis the Drunk, and in his big screen debut, Barack Obama as Goober.


#5

joeybaggzzzzz went to the first showing of the movie…slept through it three times…considered himself fortunate, because he only paid for one ticket…


#6

Boldlygo saw the success of his first movie and is now writing a short screenplay for the Star Wars series called. " Poorg: The story of a Porg without money". It will be best if he can get Rod Blagovich’s hair to play the porg. (Darn autocorrect for making have to try writing porg five times before it took.)


#7

mVitus recently revitalized his acting career…he played the moose in the Farmers’ Insurance ‘Swingset Standoff’ commercial…


#8

@boldlygo use to to be the spokes person for Milk Of Magnesia.


#9

Governator meanwhile has a blossoming acting career ever since clinching roles like Dead Guy #2, Mangled Corpse, and Man in Casket on various cop shows.


#10

mVitus discovered the girl of his dreams when he saw Cheryl Tiegs, but he was grief stricken when the Church wouldn’t allow him to marry her poster.


#11

christofirst has an AKC-registered bearded collie named Skeezix…truly man’s best friend…they go everywhere together…last Halloween, christofirst made a cowboy costume for Skeezix that matched his own, and they went trick-or treating together…nobody could tell them apart until a neighbor noticed that it was christofirst who was drooling on the candy…


#13

Boldlygo won first prize in last years Halloween costume festival in his hometown. He wore a pair of khakis, basketball shoes, a red golf shirt and a name tag that read, “Jake from State Farm.” Boldly was so thrilled to have won that he is now offering State Farm auto insurance policies at a 25% discount. State Farm is NOT happy!!!


#14

Joeybaggz is one of the worst grocery clerks in existence.

He’s so bad at bagging items Walmart pulls ills their elderly store greeters to pick up the slack.


#15

Oh no you didn’t, Governator!

Governator is actually an android sent from the future where humans have become overrun by political machines (pardon my “stretching” pun). His mission is to find the woman who gives brith to an honest politician that’s making headway against the political machines in the future and governate her. He will be back.

Side question: Recently I read a book series. In it one minor detail where a head injury caused a small part of the protagonist’s hair to grow white. Do any of you know whether 0r,not an injury to the scalp actually can change your hair color in a small area? Google let me know it could stop hair growth in an area, but nothing about color changes.


#16

mVitus is curious about hair color change due to head injury because he ‘accidentally’ entered the wrong locker room at the gym…the ladies pulverized his scalp with their tennis rackets…hours later, when he regained his senses [?],his hair had turned white…he’s not sure if it was from fear or the flagrooning he received…


#17

boldygo only knows this because he’s an amateur television producer and director and is recording a terrible reality TV show about mvitus life


#18

Governator is alligned with the Illuminati’s connections to the Deep State in funding such reality TV shows. It make it easier to Governate the people.

Boldly, for an outrageous lie you’re surprisingly close. I have brown hair, but half of an eyebrow and a small (not always seen) part of hair are more blonde. While I may not have walked into the wrong lockeroom, I now wonder if a stupid thing I did at 5/6 years old might be a factor.


#19

Mvitus only knows of my Illuminati activities because he’s an interdimensional shapeshifting reptilian who hungers for human flesh and man’s enslavement.


#20

The android Governator’s acting career has hit a bit of a snag in his quest to find the earth woman he is seeking. His attempts however did spawn a television series based on his success with women. He was the inspiration for the character Al Bundy on Married with Children. Peg is his ideal woman.


#21

Joeybaggzzzzz had to read about ‘Married with Children’ online…he slept through every episode when he attempted to watch the show…


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