Tell an Outrageous Lie about the Previous Poster, Vol. III


Governator, fondly known to his second grade Sunday School class as Brother Gov, International Man of Mystery, has been nominated by President Trump as his personal envoy to North Korea. In an attempt to hone his negotiating skills, Brother Gov is practicing his bad hair day and fat boy jokes to make an impression when he meets the leader of North Korea who he fondly refers to as Humpty Dumpty. Film at eleven.


Brother Gov showed little Kim a private showing of Gran Torino.

As the lights turned on Kim was met by a sneering Clint Eastwood and promptly messed himself.

We now have peace in the North East.

Joeybaggz only knows this because he’s friends with Dennis Rodman.


Governator tried to create a youtube series called Governator, which is the take of a crazy Australian governor in the fabled city of Outback-polis in the year 2578 based on the Terminator films. It stars Governator as Governator, who is a wishy-washy old curmudgeon who has gotten rich on bitcoin currency from interplanetary mineral sales.


Superluigi cries himself to sleep every night because he’s always everyone’s second choice player.


Govenator shot JR!!!


It’s true I regret nothing.

TheLegend gained his status for world record of corn dogs eaten in a single day and toilets clogged.


Governator is actually a top secret Vatican spy, assigned by the Holy Father himself to observe and report the goings on at CAF. Word is, Vatican officials are none too pleased with the grumbling and in-fighting going on between posters on these forums. Governator (actually Monsignor Governator) was advised to assume a false identity and cover story so as not to arouse suspicion as he collects evidence for his report.


Yes I pose as a down on his luck 30 year old family man from the central valley with traditional leanings and a penchant for snack foods.

The Sandworms and other monsters I fight are allegories for the Freemasons and the homosexual Mafia that I am waging a one man war on.

I’m also the Holy Father’s body guard.

@Christofirst is secretly a ninjitsu skilled Benedictine Monk who wanders the world fighting evil and spreading peace like Cain from Kung Fu The Legend Continues.


Finster “two toes” Limpwrist, Capo du tutti Capo of the homosexual mafia has put a contract out on Brother Gov. Price for the hit is a case of Hostess Ho Ho’s and a three day all expense paid trip to the Flatt and Scruggs museum in Branson, Missouri.


joeybaggz thought the motors on gas powered skate boards were too small so he tried hooking up a sbc (small block chev) to one. He has yet to find a board strong enough to support the motor.


:joy: :rofl:

It’s true at the airport some fat guy in a pink tuxedo strangely resembling Marlo Brando tried to stab me in the neck with plastic shank carved out of a singing Justin Bieber toothbrush.

I promptly shoulder flipped him into escalator and he was strangled to death with his neck tie.

I calmly walked away muttering under my breath nothing to get choked up over.


Joeybaggz is in charge of sphincter the evil organization that is the arch nemesis of Bro Gov.

Joey just sits there petting his white cat plotting his next move.

TheLegend is his secretary.


One rainy day, Brother Gov decided to explore his cave…he’d gone back some two hundred yards or so when he discovered a natural spring…the coolest, most refreshing water he’d ever tasted…drinking that water was almost a spiritual experience…
“I can’t keep this for myself”, he thought…“I’ve got to share it with the world”…
He went to the old ‘Gunsmoke’ set, and borrowed a buckboard wagon and Ruth [very Biblical name], Festus’s mule, and then stopped at the local bottling plant and bought all the cheap plastic bottles he could carry…he filled them with the cave’s spring water, loaded them onto his wagon, put his Bible under the seat for good measure, and went out into the world to share his treasure…
In the first town he came to, he set up in a shopping center parking lot, and was almost totally ignored…a youngster, perhaps one of his second-graders, told him that he’d never attract anyone without a big sign…he went to the hardware store there, bought all he needed to make the sign, painted it, and attached it to his wagon…
The sign read “Brother Gov’s Travelling Salvation Show”, and he was sued by Neil Diamond before he could give away his first bottle of water…


Yes but you forgot to mention the part where I got a lawyer and counter suited Neil Diamond into third world poverty.

With my new cash crop I put a bulbous blond wig on Ruth with some obnoxious blue eyeshadow and sold my miracle spring water on late night TV Ads.

@boldlygo only knows of this water which can also be yours for the small price of three payments of $29.99 because he bought a whole crate worth.


With the fortune realized from the Neil Diamond lawsuit, Brother Gov, International Man of Mystery, spent some of it on in an attempt to convince himself of his ancestral superiority to the posters he has encountered here, by finding each’s most famous relative… The results:
Boldlygo - Charlemagne
The Legend - Babe Ruth
christofirst - St. Maria Goretti
SuperLuigi - Michaelangelo
Joeybaggz - General George S. Patton
And finally The Governator - Jack the Ripper. (sure tells us a lot about the International Man of Mystery, huh?)


At least you didn’t say Austin Powers.

Joeybaggz was later arrested for running a fraudulent ancestry website.

Brother Gov in his mercy gave him some miracle spring water for half the price.


Joeybaggz was found to be under the influence of some sort of hallucinogen…on investigation, the FDA found that the ‘miracle spring water’ contained chemicals that are inert when cold, but at warmer temperatures combine to form said drug…
Brother Gov was thrown in ‘the slammer’, and his Abbot stopped in to remind him of his Oath of Truth…if he lies to get out of his predicament, he’ll lose his robe, and his tonsure will be made permanent with a blowtorch…


Well, at least we now know where the missing brown acid from Woodstock went. I have this strange desire to listen to Iron Butterfly’s Inna Godda da Vida over … and over … and over. …

boldlgo recently purchased two large tanks of acetylene and a new tip for a blowtorch, and has rented a small room near the "slammer’ now holding the International Man of Mystery.


joeybaggz watched the movie Star Wars 2,789 times, closely observing Old Ben Kenobi, trying to learn the ways of the Force, so he could use Jedi mind tricks on his wife.
Wife: How long has this trash been here?
joeybaggz, with a wave of his hand: This isn’t the trash you want me to take out.
Wife: This isn’t the trash I want you to take out.
joeybaggz: I’m free to go play video games.
Wife: You’re free to go play video games.


joeybaggz used his Jedi mind tricks on christofirst and his dog, Skeezix…now, Skeezix walks upright, and christofirst plods along on all fours, at the end of a leash…[I won’t go into what happens when they see a fire hydrant…]…


boldygo’s most used,and his favorite, golf club is the sand wedge. He even uses it to putt with.

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