Tell an Outrageous Lie about the Previous Poster, Vol. III


#102

Yes I age fava beans and grapes together to make fine wine.

Joeybaggz bought four cases worth and bought a boat.

So far he hasn’t come ashore and is living off the wine which also contain enough nutrients to live off of.

He fashions himself as a mystical sea wizard covering himself with nets and fishing tackle and commanding sea life to attack neighboring vessels for supplies.

So far he has befriended a lobster.


#103

Governator despises wine. As an avid rum drinker he only drinks rum made by the Appleton Estates in Jamacia. To be sure he is getting the real stuff, Governator flies down there bi-weekly to buy the rum off the showroom floor.


#104

It’s true TheLegend is drinking buddy and if it wasn’t for me he wouldn’t have met his dear wife Carlita who is from Brazil.

Despite the 65 year age difference they have a beautiful family with three wrinkly children.


#105

Brother Gov has always been a big fan of Christmas plays…he recently learned that his second-graders were starting tryouts for their presentation of “A Christmas Carol”, and went to watch…when all his second-graders pleaded with him to be in their play, he jumped at the chance…he was cast as ‘The Ghost of Christmas Future’, because he won’t need a costume…he insisted on getting his script early, so he could have extra time to memorize all his lines…


#106

Boldlygo has started preparing for Christmas. He started crocheting cute toilet paper holders in festive red and green colors. He’s made 22 dozen so far. He doesn’t have that many real life friends though, so he will share with us. We just need to send him a self addressed stamped envelope.


#108

[Mary Gail ordered three of the toilet paper holders - enough for her and all her friends…]

Mary Gail and her politically-ambitious sons, Donald and Clint, got into the holiday spirit by making Christmas cookies…Mary Gail made her world-famous sugar cookies in the shapes of little elephants and donkeys, and Donald and Clint used the decorative icing to make it appear that they were making obscene gestures at each other…


#109

Boldlygo asked Donald and Clint to bake for his parish bake sale, but made sure to hide the cookie cutters. He went to the dollar store for some non political cookie cutters. All they had were jack’o’lanterns and Easter bunnies . He instructed my boys to try to make the pumpkins sort of look like Santa, and the bunnies could be reindeer. My boys are a bit stubborn though. They aren’t coming out just right.:rabbit2: :elephant::horse:


#110

Mary Gail’s cooks cutters unbeknownst to all but herself have magical powers ,
and her little shaped dough animals come to life after baking…the Jack o lanterns
are something to be feared as they swell and take on their wicked faces and gleaming sharp teeth…


#111

After eating a cookie Greenfield’s skin turned an orange hue, her hair became an odd shade of strawberry blonde and she had a strange penchant for red ties.

A little later she ate a Girl Scouts cookie and became very wrinkly, grew short blonde hair and Infinity for pant suits.

She was thankful her husband’s name is not Bill and had to drink Curmudgeon coffee to shake the side affects which in turn made her resemble Yoda or more accurately Yaddle.


#112

In gratitude for asking him to be in their Christmas play, Brother Gov invited all the second-graders to a pre-Thanksgiving dinner at the abbey [the cook was thrilled…]…
They arrived a day early, on the school bus, and Brother Gov had to find some way to entertain them…Brainstorm!!!..he took them to a turkey farm, and told them to pick out a turkey ‘for tomorrow’ …when they realized that said turkey would be killed, they all started to cry…
Softie that he is, Brother Gov bought three live tom turkeys, took them to the bus, and released them on the abbey grounds when the bus got there…he named them Larry, Curly, and Moe, and the kids laugh every time they see them…
The pre-Thanksgiving dinner featured tofu burgers and fries, and Brother Gov promised the kids that he’d turn vegetarian after Thanksgiving…


#113

Boldlygo …really Boldlyglow wears a tophat to cover a huge hairless dome not because it’s unsightly by day
but more to deter moths and such sorts by night that are drawn to the iridescent glow by night…a phenomenon created
by bacteria.Hes not exactly sure which side of the family his peculiar trait has been handed down from…


#114

Greenfields left school after the fourth grade to join the circus…after a few years spent feeding the animals, she got into a verbal altercation with the boss, and she was so loud that his ears rang for days…A Star Is Born!!!
Ever since then, she’s been known as ‘Hog-Calling Sally, the Eighth Wonder of the World’, and people come from all over to hear her scream…legend has it that she worked two county fairs at the same time - she stood at the midpoint between the two, some twenty-five miles apart, let loose with a “SOOOO-EY”, and was heard at both fairs…


#115

At this very moment in time,Boldlygo is bobbing on the pristine waters of Dal lake ,Srinagar in his bedecked
old houseboat,lamps glowing,flicking patterns on his beloved books.
He’s writing his memoirs hurriedly now,sweat dripping .as time is running out…


#116

Greenfield’s was the sea witch that summoned Leviathan sinking Boldlygos house boat.

Boldygo spent three days in the belly of the beast until he was vomited up half digested.

Apparently Boldygo did not sit well with Old Nesse.


#117

After watching twenty fourJames Bond movies in a row, Governator, otherwise knows as Brother Gov, International Man of Mystery, had Greenfields, his own personal “Q” make him a watch with secret features. After “Q” offered his several options, BrotherGov chose the feature where the watch, when depressing the crown, farts the “Battle Hymn of the Republic.” Members of Al Queda have been reported as quaking with fear and abandoning the Jihad.


#118

joeybaggz,Baggzzzzz?
A reptilian creature with slitted mean eyes and a blue forked filtering tongue,always found wearing a trench coat and has a baskets on his tricycle to discreetly
carry his tail in ,while he roams the back streets in search of squashed squirrels


#119

Greenfields, aka ‘Hog-Calling Sally’, became known to the Department of Defense…she ‘disappeared’ one evening, carefully gagged,so that she couldn’t use her ‘secret weapon’…
When she woke up, she was near the top of a mountain, in a warm bunker, dressed in Arctic gear…the Army wanted to know if her scream could be used to incapacitate the enemy in the valley below, and there’s nothing like a dress rehearsal to find out…she was ordered to step out of the bunker, face the valley below, and let loose with her best “SOOOO-EY”…
Unfortunately, when she stepped outside, the cold air contracted her vocal cords, and she was unable to whisper, much less scream…
The condition persisted…she’s now in a VA hospital at an unnamed location, where the therapists are trying to restore her speech, and we all know how long the VA takes to accomplish anything…


#120

A film based on my life Bro Gov was filmed retroactively in the 1980’s by boldlygo using a scrapped DeLorean that was T-Boned by an oncoming train nearly 30 years ago.

He was on a budget and wanted something snazzy and retro to fix up little did he know that the vehicle was the product of a time travel experiment by a deranged physicist, his pet dog, and a teenage boy.

Now only if I was as handsome as Sean Connery but that’s Hollywood.

This film is based on a true story…

Only the names, events and facts have been changed.


#121

Governator is trying to invent a “cloud” storage system for his overwhelming collection of KISS memorabilia.


#122

1Lord1Faith is more than happy to provide the cloud for Governator’s memorabilia. In fact Governator is right groovy with the purple haze and has joined 1Lord1Faith in helping make the cloud. Now if they could remember why.


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