Tell an Outrageous Lie about the Previous Poster, Vol. III


#123

The Governator is neither for or against KISS but was promised food and coffee.

TheLegend being 1Lord1Faiths shroom guy hooked them up and 1Lord1Faith sprinkled some onto a delicious home made triple cheese vegetarian pizza.

The Governator being the pious monk that he is was unaware of the hallucinogenic mushrooms and began to de-evolve into a primordial hominid like off the film Altered States.

1Lord1Faith decided they didn’t need to make a cloud because technology is evil and ventured into the recesses of their mind creating a mind palace full of Kiss greatest hits.

They have not left since and 1Lord1Faith has been sitting in their mind palace smoking hookah and listening to classic rock for the last 12 hours.

Governator woke up in a tree naked in Yellowstone National Park unaware of how he gotten there let alone in the tree since he lives in the Central Valley of California.

Police think he may have stow away on a helicopter then attacked the pilots in a primate rage promptly being thrown from the aircraft where his extra pounds saved his fall in a very large tree.

1Lord1Faith has not been the same since and is now teaching classes on celestial transcendence.

TheLegend was arrested for selling illegal drugs and bootleg designer purses and perfumes from his trunk.


#124

Governator is talking about a classic trailer. But what he really means is his 1973 expandable camper with a rusty propane tank at the front that was used to smuggle moonshine from North Carolina into Quebec City.


#125

Back in college, SuperLuigi pledged a fraternity, and part of his initiation was wearing his clothing inside-out for a week…it wasn’t all that bad, since the weather was warm, and he wore only shorts and T-shirts…
Somehow, the inside-out bit became a habit…he’s lost several potential jobs interviewing in an inside-out suit…now, he’s dumpster-diving in the Windy City, wearing inside-out thermal coveralls, and hoping he doesn’t have to unzip anytime soon…


#126

For the last ten years Boldlygo has been writing letters to the IOC advocating for a men’s synchronized swimming event at the Summer Olympics. If things pan out, he’ll be the first to throw his hat in the ring to be a coach for the US team. Drawing on his vast childhood experience in dance and choreography, he has already sequenced several routines that he himself has mastered, and he is ready to teach them to a US team.


#127

1Lord1Faith is the full-time, volunteer towel boy for the team. Because his vision is going bad, he can’t tell the difference between jock straps and the towels…


#128

Because he wears his thermal coveralls inside-out, SuperLuigi has some difficulty reaching the pockets…last night, as he tried to sleep in his refrigerator box under the bridge, a raccoon smelled the dumpster-dive food in his pocket, and crawled in to get it…when SuperLuigi started squirming, the raccoon bit him on the stomach, and ran…SuperLuigi is now at Mercy Hospital, being treated for minor frostbite, and receiving a series of shots to prevent possible rabies.
[It might be difficult for the hospital staff to keep him there…the shots are quite painful, and he’d much rather dumpster-dive than eat hospital food…]


#129

The raccoon was subsequently shot and sold at 3x market value to boldlygo’s taxonomy business. He thought it was so valuable he rented an armored car to transport it to his secret lair in Baffin Island and placed on the mantle just below the picture of SuperLuigi.


#130

[Ah, yes…the picture of SuperLuigi at the frat party, as Rent-a-Zombie…taken immediately after the drunken frat boys played ‘Pin the Tail on the Rent-a-Zombie’, using darts and old typewriter ribbon…that picture is worth several thousand words…]

The hospital staff knew they had to keep SuperLuigi there until the entire series of shots had been administered, so they talked to his social worker, and got a list of his favorite foods…it was a struggle for the dietary department, but they finally managed, after several tries, to perfect the recipe…

SuperLuigi now gets booger pizza three times a day, and washes it down with his favorite all-time brew, Old Milwaukee Light…he told his social worker to find another raccoon, or maybe a sewer rat, to bite him, so he can stay in this almost-heaven for another couple weeks…


#131

After eating three whole pizzas in one sitting boldlygo has not gone boldly since.


#132

The Govenator exterminator of all things cockroachy ,has had a change of heart and is at this moment talking sweetly
tearing of little chunks of tropical topping pizza he stole from poor Boldlygo(who’s trussed up like a turkey) and kindly
feeding the happy shiny win-ged bugs.Im sure they even have names by now…


#133

Greenfield’s slipped drugs into Governstor’s coffee causing him to hallucinate and make peace with his sworn enemy the cockroach.

When he came to he causally massacred the roaches like it was the red wedding.

Greenfield’s was arrested and sentenced to a life service with no parole of cleaning up after boldlygo who is now in a semi vegetative state from all the drugs and pizza.

Still boldygo comes up with a new pizza concoction every four hours which appears to be the speed of sound in his slightly vegetative mind.

The pizza making is slow and arduous work and boldygo likes to add more toppings than the pizza can hold keeping Greenfield’s up all hours of the day cleaning up after boldlygo.

Eggs and toaster ovens cover the floor as the slowest man on Earth travels in his mind past the sound barrier.

This has also significantly slowed the aging process in boldygo and Greenfield’s in her jealousy has cruelly dubbed boldlygo go as Reverse Flash.

Governator still fights the good fight with the word and industrial pesticides.

Also Morgan Freeman narrated this post.


#134

"Sugarwater…I need Sugarwater "…says the Guv stiffly,his tall form lurching as he tries to throttle Boldlygo ,
bugs tumbling out of his trench coat .Boldlygo screams truely awakened out of his vegative state at last
primeval instinct kicking in to save his miserable yellow skin.
“Here !! Here, try this sickly sweet gigantic cup of Macca’s pretend sweet tea!”( nothing like a good ol’ normal
Cup of tea,tea…)
The Guv’ takes a great swig and says…“Whew,thanks,that was close …my hypoglycaemia is playing having with me
at present” and slaps Boldlygo’s pock-ridden shoulders…


#135

Greenfield’s was drunk I’m not a intergalactic space roach hiding in a skin suit. :unamused:

I think someone has been watching a bit too much Silence Of The Lambs. :roll_eyes:

I had a bout of diabetes that I caught from Wilford Brimley its the contagious kind…Type C Diabetes… The C stands for Contagious… :biohazard:

I got it after he sneezed his oatmeal and Ewok hair all over me…

This caused my sugar to drop so drastically that I passed out in the alley next to boldlygos apartment and I got covered in bug’s.

It’s all good now I ate some Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup which just happens to be the cure for this sort of diabetes.

After boldlygo came to he reported to the authorities that a strange woman was living in his flat eating eggs and toaster ovens off his floor.

When the authorities came they explained the strange sentence which turned out to be illegal after it turned out the sentence came from a traffic court judge.

Still the authorities ran a back ground check and found she was an illegal alien they didn’t know what her country of origin was so she was promptly shipped to Greenland since her name is Greenfield’s.

Greenfield’s met her husband a Yetti and they now have six furry children and live peacefully in an igloo.

boldlygo became the owner of a Little Cesar’s franchise store and still lives alone.


#136

Poor poor Govenator :cry: Cambells chicken noodle soup was Not the right thing to have eaten…no, uh uh,not in his weakened condition…a condition not of this world it appears…
It began with the clucking and small irritating pin feathers pushing their way painfully through his skin(much much worse than the worst pimple you’ve ever experienced…)
And then the smell of wet feathers(in my,Greenfields opinion that was the most horrifying symptom,:nauseated_face: )
I think I’ll stop here before we mention 'the egg…"


#137

Yes I got chicken pox from a tainted can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup. :biohazard::ramen:

Luckily it wasn’t anything a good swig of whiskey couldn’t fix. :tumbler_glass::unamused::smoking:

Greenfield’s unable to contain herself drove to the nearest KFC and indulged in the crispy chicken goodness.

She was pulled over intoxicated from KFC’s signature gravy sauce…


#138

A Good swig of whiskey ?!A good Swig of whiskey says he the Govenator
who flew to Scotland donned a kilt and bagpipes frightening the goats as he scaled the highlands crying and tugging at his feathers ! Flagons upon flagons of whiskey and a terrible wailing and keening both from his heart and bagpipes…


#139

I don’t know who Tom Selleck?

My bet is it was you…


#140

Governator is a well know music video producer over seas. In fact he is even a bagpipe composer. He taught the girls how to play the bagpipe, Governator even taught the girls how to dance and play the bagpipes for this video… but i better not post a link to it, as the video is the typical racy video. it was performed by Scooter.


#141

The Legend, enthralled by Brother Gov’s phenomenal success as an internationally renown music video producer has embarked on a music video production company. The first offerings of this new musical creation will be music videos entitled, “Yoko sings the Best of Two Live Crew,”, “Wayne Newton and Twisted Sister Together Again”, and the ultimate musical coup, "Rosie O’Donnell’s tribute to the stylings of Tupac Shakur. Download all three now!


#142

Joeybaggz lives in his grandma’s basement as a one man grudge band.

He always leaves the toilet seat up, forgets to turn off lights wasting electricity and never helps around the house but his granny is convinced her little Joey is going to make it big someday.


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