There is a particular friend of mine at school who I’ve known for a good while. Since May of '09 I have found myself attracted to her and can’t seem to get myself to “get over her”.
I made the mistake initially of trying to date her before I got to know her better. What had happened was that I asked her out for coffee the summer of '09, she upgraded to dinner, it went well, and when I asked her out again she said that “she wasn’t feeling it” and that “the timing wasn’t right” (keep in mind that this happened in July and she had broken-up with her serious boyfriend of one-and-a-half years back at Easter…they went as far as to talk about marriage).
I have been going mostly to a mutual friend of ours for advice on this girl since I didn’t yet want to come-out to this girl about how I felt about her. His advice was that I should get-over this girl because he considered the chances of us dating unlikely, not only because she probably didn’t like me romantically but also because of things going on in her own life that would make dating hard.
Nonetheless I didn’t get over the girl and I still like her both romantically and simply as a friend. I finally feel that I want to tell her once and for all how I feel, get it off my chest, and finally settle this thing with her. If she doesn’t like me then we remain friends. If she does like me (which I consider an unlikely scenario) then we take things to the next level.
The ultimate question, though, is: should I even tell her how I feel? I was initially afraid to do so out of fear it would ruin our friendship since I like having her as a friend. But our mutual friend said that she’s not the type of girl who would be weirded-out by this and never speak to me again (which I agree). We’re close and we all have the same mutual friends, so the whole “I’m never talking to you again” thing would not work even if she was like that.
What are your thoughts? What should I do or not do?