Telling a Woman She's Beautiful

Well as much as women pretend not to be shallow… … per a few women:

Women: “Wow you are lucky I like you ;)”

Me: “huh? I do it all the time with positive effects”

Women: “I gues because you’re good looking it works”

Again having 12 seconds of words to say helps above and beyond looks…

I have actually had this convo with women who deny it and say I am horrible… in a few conversations I am good to go… lol. (Remembering I spent alot of time as a completely secular dude)

You can pretend what you want though. You can pretend it isn’t a bologna game in which women pick and choose.

At work we have some guys who can all but comoletely sexually harass women and THEY are FINE WITH IT.

There are other guys who do literally NOTHING wrong and get accused of harassment…

And the women who are not operating out of denial will freely admit to safe confidant “Yeah I complained because ewww he is ugly”

Or “ew I don’t like his demographic”

Ironically we have one very fit guy of a demographic that even the women who dislike said demographic let him get away with murder.

Why?

Because they call him:

“[Name] with the big arms” (said in swwoning teenage voice)

And this all comes from women 23-55 married/single… 99% all act the exact same way.

I’ve worked in the service industry myself, and this has happened. I’ve had women say “You’re cute” or “You have a nice smile” or “you smile a lot, that’s good”. To be honest, I wasn’t creeped out by it, I was appreciative of the compliment. But women are obviously different.

Consensus seems to be it’s too forward, and I understand that (although I’d be willing to bet I wouldn’t get a restraining order or a punch in the face for telling a girl I thought she was pretty - that’s extreme). Thanks for your feedback and opinions.

As Joy2day says, the problem is you are judging the woman, by saying she’s beautiful.
She is not there to be judged by you or anyone, she’s there to do her job.
Giving a compliment may throw her off her stride, and interfere with her work.
I get compliments at work and would prefer not to. (They can’t see my age, I sound young on the phone.)
Courtesy and good manners are appreciated by women of good taste.

.

I’m aware I’m late to the party.

Telling a stranger she’s beautiful? Creepy; offensive; or both. Just…don’t.

Dude… :tiphat: well said!

This self righteous anger is why I am sooo glad I am not immortal on earth :stuck_out_tongue:

If you are not in a position to get in trouble and you are not being creeping, be you, be honest, be kind, love your neighbor.

If your neighbor has psychotic anger issues and mental problems and wants to stab you for being a good person… that is on them, not you.

Calm down. You’re getting emotional over nothing.

It’s ok but being anxious with other people saying tells your intention is not pretty logically true.

Emotional? Lol.

I made a point.

My percieved emotion from another is a matter for them to reconcile, not I.

If you are quality and I disagree, that is my problem not yours.

If I am quality and you disagree, that is your problem not mine.

How in the world is a simple compliment offensive?

The whole reason we (as women) dress up when we go out is to look pretty… I don’t see how you can get upset when someone tells you that you succeeded. :shrug:

“Beautiful” or “pretty” is a broad and general term, without any connotation… I’ve been told I’m pretty by creepy old men in the nursing home where I work, in ways that WERE uncomfortable, but you know what? It’s their opinion, and I can outrun them and I’m not an aide so I’m not in danger.

One very ‘honest’ resident told me “you’ve got a nice set.” I made it around the corner before it registered, and then I laughed… Because I do. :shrug:

If I’m out and about and someone calls me pretty, I smile and say thanks.

If a counter was between me and someone and it was casual and not otherwise improprietious, I would not be bothered.

If someone walked across the street to tell me this, that’s when I’d start feeling uncomfortable. But he still doesn’t automatically deserve to be kicked where it hurts.

Stop dumping on the poor guys, people. :frowning:

Like it or not good looking people get away with lot more than plain people.

It’s a fact of life.

How would you like it if a 350 pound woman came up to you and started saying how she found you quite attractive? What if she was not only morbidly obese but had a face that was uninteresting? How would you react to that? Now what if a stunning woman did the same thing? Chances are you would have a more positive reaction to the beautiful woman.

On the other hand workplace harassment is not good. My cousin worked as a bartender and sometimes a waiter and he would get his behind slapped by many a woman. Many a drunk woman. It’s not good to be harassed while at work.

Yes, but we’re talking about a nice guy saying a nice thing in a nice way…

What if it made her entire day a little better to hear one nice simple thing?

  1. I know, the fact is typically in these lines of discussion of “Men = creepy jerkfaces and Women = poor innocent, never ever shallow victims” I like to point out real life.

  2. I am not complaining :wink: just feel bad for ugly dudes :frowning:

I have seen them wronged all too often and nothing short of martyrdom to save an innocent :frowning: I am weak :frowning:

  1. I have a few of both “ugly” and attractive women comment. Sure I react more excitedly toward the attractive, but I do not shun, belittle, nor accuse the ugly.

I do not have years of social engineering teaching me to abuse the 350 lb woman for some misguided self righteous purpose. If you are ugly and compliment me I will say thank you.

Then most likely I will attempt tk find a redeeming quality of you and comoliment it.

  1. Any grown up over the age of 16 knows full well what that job entails… had this happen tk me by sober women, drunk women, coworker ladies (ie: 30s ) when I was 15-18… if I were going to whine I would have got a new job.
    (Only reason i did was to move up in the world etc.)

Did you not read the comments?

If a nice man says a nice thing to a “nice” woman, then he is a judgemental creepy rapist jerkface.

And HOW DARE he dare to judge her to be pretty???

The nerve of this criminal! For shame! Lol

Thanks Silver, it’s good to hear that perspective, that makes sense to me.

For what it’s worth, I read my post to my mother and she agrees.

Hello,

I am a married woman and often give other women compliments, they appear pleased and say thank you. Guess it’s much different for men, who knows anymore. A compliment is a compliment is a compliment, take it as it is given, nothing more, nothing less. Why do we humans need to complicate things so much and make assumptions.

If your quote is true, I fear none shall make it to heaven :D!

I recall Maurice chevalier said this: “I smile at all the women. When they’re pretty, it gives me pleasure. When they’re not, it gives them pleasure.”

There’s a lesson in that.

Notice however that he said he smiled. He didn’t say, “I tell them they’re beautiful.” If someone is a stranger, be respectful of their boundaries; don’t do something that might scare someone or make them uncomfortable. If you are likely to scare them as make their day, err on the side of caution and don’t risk the former.

Finally, let’s look at who’s doing the talking: my wager is not that it’s some good looking, smooth-talking handsome man wearing a tie and cufflinks. More than likely it’s some socially-awkward guy wearing a t-shirt. Why do i say this? Because smooth talking, socially awake men who know the art of conversation don’t stagger up to a stranger and blurt, “you’re beautiful.” It just…isn’t done. Not by anyone with any class, anyway. It isn’t, except by the clueless. Think less George mcfly and more Lando calrissian.

Huh???

I had to re read this line of convo a few times and I am lost on this lol.

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