Telling my grandma


#1

It wasn’t easy to tell my family I wanted to become catholic more than a year ago, but now I’m confirmed and the hardest is over. My parents are doing their best to accept my decision, and my mom (former Catholic) is even becoming supportive and interested. However, they have been insisting I tell my 82 yr old grandma – my dad’s mom – who is a Baptist.

She and my late-Grandpa (my favorite person in the world…I miss him so much) were very prominent in our small community. He was the superintendent of the school cooperation and also a missionary, they were both members of the Gideon’s and grandma still is. Grandpa cried when I was baptized at age 8 and said it was the happiest day of his life. Grandpa is the one who convinced my mom to leave the Catholic church. He loved Jesus with all his heart, I believe that if he is in heaven now he will understand why I became a Catholic. However, I’m worried about telling my grandma.

She is literally the sweetest lady in the world. She has never once got mad at me…ever. And I’ve seen her almost every day since I was born. She wouldn’t be mad at me for becoming Catholic, but she wouldn’t understand, and I knew she would be hurt. I want her to be happy…I don’t want to do anything to hurt her. Who knows how much longer I have to spend with her? What should I do?


#2

My grandmother passed away six months ago, and my first thought when I heard was, "Now she understands everything!"

If you see your grandmother every day, have you been having spiritual conversations? Does she have any inkling that you were investigating the Church? Is it possible that the topic may come up naturally?

One thing I realized when I converted and had to tell anti-Catholic people was that they knew me, they knew I loved Jesus, and they would eventually be able to put that together with my Catholicism and hopefully it would help them become less anti-Catholic. Lots of them believe the only Catholics who are Christian are the ones who aren't paying attention, so I almost felt it a duty to be very open.

Perhaps your grandmother is more aware than you realize. I'll pray for you, that there will be a smooth and obvious way to begin the conversation with her.


#3

First of all - CONGRATULATIONS!!!

:extrahappy::dancing::clapping:

This is a tough problem, for sure. The one thing I would tell you is to make sure you tell your family members that you want to be the one to talk to your grandmother, IN YOUR OWN TIME, whether that is immediately, or in a few months, or next year. I don’t know if they will be able to promise that, but it really is your own business and your choice of how and when to tell your grandmother.

And then, pray a lot! Pray for the right words - the Holy Spirit is within us when we need Him. He gives us the right words. You will know when the time is right to tell her. I will pray for you too.

Again, Welcome Home!!!

:thumbsup:


#4

Congratulations and welcome home - unless it comes up naturally and you feel as if you are lying to her than I would not tell her. I think you need to very seriously to look at whether the decision to tell her will bring pain or peace. God bless and welcome home,


#5

If you know it will make your grandma unhappy why are your parents insisting on it?


#6

I think there is a difference between denying your faith to cover you bottom, and not telling Granny because she’ll have to go through all the stages of mourning… and may not even have the time to do that!

Tell your grandmother when you are ready. Not when everyone else is ready. It’s none of their biz!

But when you tell her… Here’s what I would say…

Grandma, I want to tell you something because I respect you enough that I think you ought to know, and because I don’t want to hide anything from you. At the same time, It’s not up for discussion or for you to try to change my mind… I just don’t want to lie to you, 'cause I love you.

I’ve converted and become a Catholic. If you’d like to hear my reasoning, I’m happy to tell you. But I dont’ want to hear any reasons why you think I’ve made a mistake or not…

… Good luck!


#7

Congratulations on joining the Church! :smiley:

I actually had a similar experience with my grandmother. We are very close and when I began my conversion to Catholicism I was concerned about telling her. She too is Baptist and follows their teachings to the last letter. As my confirmation date drew nearer I eventually realized my joy wasn’t something I should have been ashamed of or afraid of how others would take it. I realized hiding my faith from those I loved was hurting me more than it was hurting them.

At first after I told my Grandmother she upset and threatened not to come to our wedding in June 2009. That was very upsetting to me because as she had helped raise my sisters and I, it was important to me that she was there. Eventually (1 week later) after a conversation with her pastor she did calm down and understands I have not changed my faith in Christ (and she still attended the wedding).

Not knowing your grandmother I don’t know what her reaction will be. But I do encourage telling her what she is ready to hear. Start with simply telling her you’ve converted and are willing to discuss the reasons. Make sure before you have the conversation you have a clear understanding of why you needed to convert.

I will keep you in my prayers that she is as accepting of your conversion as my Grandmother was.


#8

If you know it will make your grandma unhappy why are your parents insisting on it?

I’m not sure :frowning: they said she need to hear it from me…

At first after I told my Grandmother she upset and threatened not to come to our wedding in June 2009. That was very upsetting to me because as she had helped raise my sisters and I, it was important to me that she was there. Eventually (1 week later) after a conversation with her pastor she did calm down and understands I have not changed my faith in Christ (and she still attended the wedding).

As weird as it sounds I almost wish my grandma would be angry at first, because I’d rather her be angry than as hurt as I know she’s going to be. She would never get mad at me - at least she wouldn’t show it. But the thought of her crying after I leave makes me so sad. THings would never be the same between us, I’m afraid.

She’s a healthy and active 82 yr old - she jogs every day and still mows her own 3 acre lawn and showels her driveway…her mom lived to be 102! But still, you never know how long you have left with someone, and as I’m going to lose her sometime, I just want her to be happy and carefree in the last years I spend with her. I just keep thinking that when she gets to heaven she will understand and not be hurt…so why tell her now when it would accomplish so little? Is that bad to think?


#9

BeeGirl: If that’s the case maybe your grandma wouldn’t be as opposed to it as you assume.If your parents are willing to take the chance of upsetting her then maybe you should tell her.Or then again maybe you know more about her than your parents(but I doubt it)…


#10

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