Telling Non-Practicing Parents I’m Pregnant (Unmarried)


#1

Well, needless to say I made a mistake. My boyfriend and I both did. Recently, I have been feeling symptoms and will go in for a test soon, but I am at this point expecting it to be positive. Aside from pregnancy, thankfully we felt convicted in our hearts and have confessed all this already to a priest. We both made a new commitment to chastity and will not live together until the wedding. I also realize I have a lot more prayer and reflection to do and I hope to learn more about how to become a better Catholic in the future.
(For context, my boyfriend is in grad school, and I just got out of college and am looking for work. It does provide some stress, but I have faith that things can work out.)
My parents unfortunately have decided to stop attending mass. They went for a few months this year, and never went to confession or received communion. They’ve always had issues connecting with their faith, and my sister doesn’t practice anymore with us as well.
So I’m left in the situation of being a bad example to my family while being the only practicing Catholic at home. Any advice on how to talk to them after a positive test result?


#2

Well, I doubt you are prancing around telling them how bad they are and how perfect you are, right?

Then they should likely simply congratulate you and start planning a baby shower.

If someone is crass enough to bring up the sin, smile and say “there is a wideness in God’s mercy!”


#3

Morning sickness symptoms don’t generally start until about the sixth week of pregnancy. So unless you’ve missed two periods already, your “symptoms” are more likely a stomach virus. And if you have missed two periods already, then good heavens, why haven’t you already done a pregnancy test?

If you live in the US, you can get a pregnancy test today – just pee on a stick and in a few minutes you’ll have a result. You can even get them at our local Dollar Tree! You don’t need to wait to “go in for a test” at a clinic. Having this information at hand will allow you to know what your next steps are.

Regarding telling your parents if you are pregnant, living your faith through this could be an incredible witness.

Keep the faith. And I’ll keep you and your boyfriend in my prayers.

Now go get that test!


#4

Yes, dollar stores sell tests, for $1, and they are effective! Go ahead and get one to know for sure. Before establishing prenatal care my providers have all asked if I’ve done a home test, and then I don’t actually schedule an appointment until the 9-10 weeks at the earliest. So it might be a while until you actually see somebody if you are pregnant.

It’s good that you are thinking about what could be the best for the baby. I think the best thing with parents is just to be honest and obviously happy about the baby. A baby is still and always a gift.


#5

As people have said, buy a pregnancy test before getting ahead of yourself.


#6

Well, they certainly aren’t in a place to pass judgment on you if it turns out you’re pregnant. If this turns out to be the case, you just pick up and keep moving forward, keep doing the best you can and keep praying for your family. People that fall away from the Church generally haven’t fully embraced it, have issues with the teachings or other personal issues – there could be many reasons for this that don’t involve you. What a wonderful blessing it is that you and your boyfriend are keen on doing the right thing and remaining in the faith.

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers today.


#7

Just…tell them (after making sure with a pregnancy test). Yes, you sinned, but you confessed, and are now concentrating on your future, and what’s best for the baby. Will they think that you ‘owe’ them anything, and expect remorse? If so, that was taken care of in the confessional. Start planning your wedding, your baby’s baptism, and your future together. That’s what’s so wonderful about the church you sinned, but if you confessed honestly, you are forgiven. Now, it’s time to concentrate on the future for the three of you.
God Bless!


#8

I ask the Lord to flood His blessings on you all. You your possible child, your boyfriend, and your family are in my prayers.


#9

Oh, Sweetie, I think the examples you are setting are the important and positive ones. When you found out, you and your boyfriend accepted the responsibilities and outcomes of your actions. More so, you are recommitted to your faith and each other. And most importantly, the decision to have the baby if you are pregnant is the most important and commendable one.
Things will indeed work out. Your parents will live with the news.
Please come back and let us know how you are doing :slight_smile:


#10

If you make an act of perfect contrition, and go to confession, you will show that a practicing Catholic, even when they fall, gets right back up!


#11

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