Temptations to feel sorry for myself

I can only think of how I need to change this, fix this, etc. I really haven’t felt happy for awhile. Religion just feels like extra pressure. I come from a controlling, close knit but very loving family. At times I feel like I am not given the chance to make my own choices or given any personal boundaries. I feel so naive and sheltered. What does taking responsibility for your actions even mean? I am naive to think it means sorry. I beat myself over spoiled milk. How do you maturely assume responsibility when you irreparably damaged something

May not be much help, but try to remember that your family are coming from a position of love.

In answer to the irreparably damaged item, if its value was primarily monetary can you afford to replace it? Is it even replaceable? That would be my first thought. If it is not replaceable but you could afford the value I would give the price of the item. If you can’t afford to give what you can or work out a way that you may be able to pay in installments.

If the value was primarily sentimental, unfortunately you can’t do anything.

I’m at a loss to understand how a family or any other group can be controlling, close knit and loving. If I seem to be loving but am really controlling then I have an ulterior motive or agenda that is a priority for me and not in the best interest of others. This is my egotism showing its ugly head and there is no real love involved there.
The divine presence is real love and if we try we can access that love but more often than not we prefer attachment to love.
I have a friend that is in a situation where her ex-husband, her grown kids, grandkids, and others abuse her need to be or attachment to being loved. She is basically their doormat it would seem from listening to her. Then when my wife says something to her about changing her habitual responses so the situation can change she says “But I’m afraid they won’t come around anymore.”
How sad is that? We are dissatisfied with our life yet can’t change out of fear. As for taking responsibility this comes from practice, practice, practice.

Rules allow for freedom. It frees you from the bondage of sinful activity.
Your belief that religion is extra pressure means you’re looking at it from a legalistic standpoint, not a joyous and loving relationship with your Savior.
Stop worrying about “doing it right” and develop your spiritual life, prayer life, and sacramental life.
Then you will feel freedom and peace.

Maybe it is more of having an overprotective father and controlling. Yes of course I know my family is coming from a loving position but it doesn’t make the way they go about things right

Kind of wish I was more understanding of some people

Oh how well I do understand large wonderful controlling families. I have a large loving wonderful family filled with matriarchs - one of which is me.

It is a standing joke within the family about our methods. We love each other but there are times we need to just step back and get our own bearings.

My advice is to do just that. Step back, gently but firmly stand your ground and make your own decisions. I don’t know how old you are but that really doesn’t matter. It is possible to love your family and still recognize that you need some space to work through your own thoughts and feelings.

I remember one time I was so frustrated that I stood in front of the mirror and just bawled to my hearts content. I finally saw the humor in it but it still was healing.

You probably are naïve and sheltered so as you step out on your own - be careful.


I need to revise my suggestion somewhat. I should have said. “Be Not Afraid” but the

grandma in me also whispers - “but be careful too.”

I am not a little girl but I feel like one. I feel like I do not understand the world. I am too old to be just learning or understanding certain things. There are pros and cons of being raised from a devout Catholic family. We are close-knit, caring and sensitive MOST OF THE WORLD IS NOT THAT WAY. It can be a little shocking to me. My experiences are limited compared to people my age.

Maybe look at it another way. You are blessed to have been protected from all the ugliness of the world.

Find things to be thankful about.
I can’t think of any CONS for being raised in a good Catholic family.
If it’s true that they are a good family, you should be one of the happier persons on this board. Instead, you complain.

Makes no sense. My daughters saw their dad commit suicide
My daughters saw me being treated unjustly at work.
My daughters saw their friends throw away huge scholarships to quit school at universities they would have loved to go to.

Did it make them better people? Hard to say. But it was HARD.
Give thanks. For whatever you have been blessed with, give THANKS.

Yes. Yes. I should.

Cratus, I am going to venture that you are feeling a bit in between right now.
You graduated from college and that chapter is over, the one where you were on your own for a while, and though you had some obstacles to overcome along the way, you did it! :thumbsup:

But now you are back home where you came from. I don’t know if you have a job lined up yet or not, but unless you are living in your own apartment, it’s a bit tough to move home. You have grown and are no longer the person you were or the young daughter they think you are.

I remember that time. And I know it’s not easy. You have changed and everyone else thinks you are the same as you always were. Maybe just realizing that for yourself can help.

When you can afford it, you may want to get your own place. Until then, it’s okay to dream. It’s okay to make plans and go on Pinterest and save recipes, and room decor and tips to save money. Don’t stop learning just because you are finished with school.

And please, don’t compare yourself to anyone. We all live our lives at different speeds. Be patient with yourself, life is not a race.

May God bless you in whatever you do.

God bless you

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