Tenn Couple Accused of Assault using Cheetos

I love the last sentence. “No one was hurt.”

Is it possible to hurt someone with orange puffy snacks?


Assault and battery with a deadly cheeto! We need a ban on cheetos, I guess. The funniest part is, the police arrested them and they had to make bail! I wonder if this qualifies for a hate crime? Roanoker

Probably not, since they were intimately involved before the incident. If one of them hated the other because of some characteristic, it seems likely they would never have become a couple.

Some more information…

“There was evidence of the assault,” the report read, “however no physical marks on either party and the primary aggressor was unable to be determined.”

Both Taylor and Childers were charged by Roddy with domestic assault. Both posted a bond of $2,500 and will appear in Bedford County General Sessions Court on July 15.


tongue and cheek

We need to have registration requirements on people who purchase cheetos. In addition, no criminals are to be allowed to purchase cheetos. Ordinary law abiding citizens may purchase cheetos after a 7 day waiting period to make sure background is checked. SOMEONE CALL SARAH BRADY NOW! :slight_smile:


In all seriousness
I trust the Pope with a nuclear bomb more than I will trust a common thug with a paper knife. WHO uses a weapon is the question, not the weapon.

Years ago, in the embryonic stage of my career, I represented somebody who was accused of the very same thing. It was incredible that anybody should have been arrested and charged out of such a ridiculous incident, but they were, in all seriousness. I longed to try this idiotic case and practiced my closing argument for weeks, only to reach a resolution for dismissal.

We need a serious reworking of the domestic violence laws. The law does not differentiate between a food fight and a real beating. This is manifestly unjust. It also trivializes real domestic violence.

I’m going to have to show this thread to my friend Jan, she’s a cheetos addict:eek:
Is there any possibility of rehabing these poor deprived people?:D:rotfl::whistle:

What a waste of good Cheetos . . .

My thoughts exactly.

And it’s not like throwing Cheetos at someone is even effective. Now Doritos, with their sharp edges… I think a person could do some serious damage with a Dorito? Or an Oreo. I’d hate to get hit in the head with an Oreo.

Doritos would be like throwing stars! Dangerous :stuck_out_tongue:

That story made me giggle! :rotfl: I agree with KCT…what a waste of Cheetos!

well, one of the slogans for CHEETOS is “dangerously cheesy”…

I like Cheetos. You shouldn’t waste good food…use something soft like, uh…sour cream! or Soft Serve Ice Cream!.. :stuck_out_tongue:


I guess the saying is true: Cheetos never prosper.

Good idea! :smiley:

You know cheetos are cheaper than bullets why don’t we fill our rocket launchers and cannons with them in Iraq. This couple has proven them to be a deadly weapon so we can use them as weapons of mass destruction. That’ll give them terrorists something to think about. We can make the desert run orange for a 1000 years. Oh the humanity!:eek:
After we’ve pelted them unmercilessly with cheetos and maybe even a few doritos for safe measure they’ll give up and never fight again after we send enough of them off to their great reward see link below for a picture of that below:

I understand that Nacy Pelosi wants to add Cheetos to the assualt weapon ban.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.