Terribly Sad--PART TWO


OK…I first want to say thank you to everyone who listened to my sad vent about my sister’s desire to marry a man…who she started dating when he was married. (see ‘Terribly Sad’ for the whole story)

Well, I took a few of the posters’ advice…and sent her a heartfelt, non confrontational email–just showing concern. Giving her food for thought…and trying to show her that when we begin a relationship like this, out of God’s will–we will suffer terrible consequences. Consequences that might not be seen right away, but consequences, nonetheless. I also told her that God would not tell us to date married people, because the married person is really our soul mate. God wouldn’t tell someone to do something against His commandment. (thou shalt not commit adultery) My letter was heartfelt–I told her I say this out of love and concern for her. I also warned her that soon, when she starts living with him…(and eventually marrying him) she will also wonder…is he really at the store? is he really at that business trip? When one comes into a relationship with a cheater…one will eventually have to wonder…will he/she cheat on me? I think it’s only a matter of time before he cheats on her, anyways. He proved this when he was still sleeping with his wife, and seeing my sister. Ah…doesn’t that sound awful? It’s the wife who was being cheated on! :mad: But, see the tangled web that’s been woven?

Ok…so she replied…and said that ‘the advice stops here.’ That she raised me…raised her sons…took care of everyone…and it’s ‘her turn to be happy.’ Gee…I guess raising her kids didn’t make her happy?:o I guess I was a burden, I found out today. And then, the icing on the letter…was…that she prayed to ‘the Big Guy’ and our parents, and they both gave her the ‘sign’ to go ahead, and be happy. LOL OMG. I just wrote back, I hope things work out, and talk to you soon. Nothing more. She also said that she ‘hopes I’ll attend the wedding,’ and that if I choose to not be a part of her life…so be it. I’m forever grateful for my sister raising me…she is a good person. If I didn’t love her, I would say nothing…go ahead…marry the guy. But, she is making a terrible mistake.

And, who I feel the worst for in all of this is the guy’s kids from his first marriage…he has a 1 yr old son, 6 and 8 yr old daughters. Ugh.:frowning: :frowning: :frowning:

Anyways…just wanted to share the ‘conclusion’ to my story…I wasn’t going to write her, but I guess I felt compelled…aren’t we supposed to help those who are lost? I have been lost in my life, and I struggled to come back to God, but thankfully, I did…and I just want her to experience that joy.

But, I’m done with offering any further advice. I recall several passages in the Bible, where Jesus said…‘go and sin no more.’ He didn’t haggle people…just simply stated His purpose…and what His desire for others were…and moved on. It’s up to us to follow His lead.

Thx for listening, all.:slight_smile:


I’m sorry about what’s going on in your family. Your family and his will be in my prayers tonight. :slight_smile:



I am proud of you for standing up for our faith and for trying to help your sister see the error of her ways before it’s too late. I agree that you’ve done all that you can and now you must just continue to pray for her…lots.

Have you made a decision about attending the wedding yet?

I pray that your sister comes around eventually and that your relationship with her proves to be her source of strength.

Take care of yourself,



I think at this point you have done and said all that you can do. I would just keep lines of communicatin open with her so then when things eventually come crashing down around her, she has someone there to help her get on with her life.

You will all be in my prayers.


You stood up for Truth. I know it is sad when people convince themselves that wrong is right because it feels good but I have been guilty of that in the past and I understand the lonliness and frustration that fosters that type of thinking.

I would not take it personally - what your sister said about raising you and raising her kids. She probably is focusing on the sacrifices involved in raising children right now because she is being told that she ‘gave up herself’ for you and that was not a good thing. Remember, we have been bombarded with that kind of idealogy for a long time.

Recently I started another blog at modbee.com and the running theme is Redemptive Suffering. You would be surprised at the number of people who equate that with masochism AND the number of ‘Catholics’ who leave comments like 'I had forgotten…thank you".
My brother is not living a moral life right now. He knows how I feel and he also knows I love him. I am a part of his life so that his children can grow up with Truth. It is tough on me and my mother but we want to be a positive in his life and the lives of his kids. So we swallow a lot of guff but we stay faithful…

Hang in there, sweetheart. You are loved.


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