I am new to this sort of thing, starting a thread, but i asure you, if the thread has already been done, i am the one who will NOT find it. A girl could get dizzy real fast trying to find her footing in here.
I am asking for advice, not a repramand, or a list of wrong doing. I am asking for a someone to speak kindly and show me the way as to how to advise my little sister in her situation. I do not want to debate, fight, or get into name calling. I simply want to share, and be welcomed in this reaching for help. If you are not able to be kind here, i ask you simply keep it to yourself, as i am about showing Christ like behaviour, not about being right.
Ok, that being said, here is the situation. My sister as a young teenager had a baby out of wedlock. This baby is now my lovely niece of 17. Both mother and daughter are a part of, and attend church regularly with my parents. Although not proud of the situation, she did her best to do right for her little girl, and raised her with excellent morals, and a teen who has taken it upon herself to ask me for help in educating herself about remaining a virgin. Feeling pressured, she wanted help to feel ok about saying no, and it being a rightful place in her life AFTER marriage.
Then you have me, with a son who passed away 4 years ago, and my sister on her deathbed on dialisys every two days, with tubes out of her neck. She had less than 2% use of her kidney. and came to live with me for the two months following my sons funeral. He was terminally ill, and the first grandson. Dealing with longevity, he brought many to understand Gods plan, and helping so many in this family turn their life back around, and come home to God.
My sister is a beautiful person, loves God dearly, and finally got her chance at a kidney transplant from my little brother. She leads an entirely different life now, and values each day being so close to death for so long. She ended up engaged to be married, they bought a house, and had their wedding date planned, and then a glitch at the last second from her fiance’s ex wife fighting the annulment. This left them living together, but she remained firm on the no premarital sex part, and he had to care for her, as she once again got very sick and nearly died on us.
They discovered the home they bough was sold without disclosure, and was built over an old gas station with the tanks still in the ground. They discovered the information, moved out that day, and within 48 hours, she was walking again. So scare number two hit her and again she faced still living with her husband to be, and due to emergency moving on the spot, moved back home with my parents. Da nearly had a fit till he realized the union was not a sinful one.
This being said, they awaited the annulment, and the day she got it went directly to the church to book her wedding, as she wanted the very first date available, to right this whole living in sin that no one believed was not sinful. Any who…The priest refused to deal with her, said it was a scam for her to even be married in white, and an imbarasment to the community. He finally said he would marry them, but my father was not allowed to walk her down the isle because there was nothing to give away, she had given it away many years ago. He refused to announce the wedding, as advertiseing sinfull unions were an imbarasment, and an example not to make for the younger of the congrigation.
So, my littel sister has never been married, and between my father and my son, the entire family learned the old code of ethics in doing the right thing, and was led home to Mother Church.
So, if she has been absolved of all past sins YEARS ago, and remaind out of sin in this manner, and anulments on her husband to be were given (his ex walked out and left him and his two kids)
They found love, God…and his kids are not catholic, but he believed the children should all practice the same faith, and his teenage daughter made her first communion, and was ready to make her confirmation soon. They truly are on the right path. To know them is to know this.
Can this priest actually deny her from being married with her father walking her down the isle due to her imbarrasment to society?
This has deeply wounded my sister in the eyes of the faith, and any chances of helping her new husband become Catholic.
A mess, yes, any information i can share with her on the behaviour of the priest towards the state of her soul, and his refusal to see past this…past?