The 10 Commandments of Dating


There’s a book that I would recommend to everyone on this site: The 10 Commandments of Dating, by Ben Young and Sam Adams. I will list the major points of the book:

1.) Thou Shalt Get a Life. You cannot have a relationhip with someone until your own life is in order.

2.) Thou Shalt Use Your Brain. Don’t let hormones and emotional attachment take over your common sense.

3.) Thou Shalt Be Equally Yoked. You and your partner must be equally yoked in physical, spiritual, and social matters if a relationship is going to work.

4.) That Shalt Take it Slow. It will probably cause some inconvenience, but most bad decisions are correctable, with the negative consequences eventually disappearing. However, if you marry the wrong person, there will be significant negative consequences that will last for the rest of your life.

5.) Thou Shalt Set Clear Boundaries. If you don’t, you’ll be sorry.

6.) Thou Shalt Save Sex For Later. If you opt for immediate gratification, there will be lasting pain and guilt in the long run.

7.) Thou shalt Not Play House. Cohabitation means enjoying the benefits of marriage without having any of the responsibilities that go along with it. The Houston Chronicle did a study, and couples who live together before marriage are 80% more likely to get divorced.

8.) Thou Shalt Fight Fairly. Handling disagreements constructively is one of the keys to making a relationship work. Read the book to find out how.

9.) Thou Shalt Not Ignore Warning Signs. If you see a red flag, heed it. Don’t say, “maybe things will change later.” They won’t.

10.) Thou Shalt Choose Wisely. Now, apply all of the advice, choose wisely, and find the right person.

Pax Tecum,


It’s all solid advice and common sense can fly out of the window during relationships and it’s certainly good to keep such things in mind, but I take issue with this one. I’m fishing in a remarkably small pond. (And it’s heavily polluted). If things don’t change soon I’ll be looking for the lawyer from the violated deer corpse thread! :smiley:


I am in the same boat, but I am not sure I would go that far. :yup: :yup:


Pretty good list with some very sound advice.


You mean to teel me that our spouses are not pre-picked for us? :eek: :eek:

(Sorry, I had to take a swipe at the Calvinists that think our lives and spouses are pre-planned for us).

Question: what does the author mean by being “equally yoked” in physical matters? (I have a suspicion, but I just wanted to hear what the author means by it).


Great analogy. My response to people who say that there are a lot of fish in the sea would be “Yeah, but not all of them are edible”.

Unfortunately, some people think that if you are unwilling to endanger yourself with a polluted fish you are either unrealistic or an unforgiving lout who feels morally superior.

Either that, or we should accept that it is our vocation in life to starve and that we should do so gracefully.


Here’s an excerpt from their book, page 48: “Not only must you connect on the spiritual level, but you also must connect with your partner on the physical level…Having a spiritual connection is not enough. You must have that spark, that chemistry, that attraction that draws you to that person like a magnet.” I hope that helps.

Pax Tecum,


In essence, you have to be attracted to each other. Simply being Bible Buddies won’t cut it :stuck_out_tongue:


Correct. :smiley:



Sounds like great advice. Maybe they’re ought to be an 11th commandment: "Thou shalt move to Lincoln Nebraska’ :stuck_out_tongue:
I’d also suggest “The ABC’s of choosing a good wife/husband” by Steve Wood.

Pax Tecum,


That’s some really good advice, particularly the one about taking it slowly. When a person rushes things in a relationship they don’t think rationally and one may fall in love with the idea of falling in love.


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