So like, I wish there was a way to describe how I’m feeling- relieved? Happily freaking-out? Having a conniption fit of joy???
As some o’ ya know, I called the local st. Peter’s (FINALLY) Cheers
While I’m a mostly cheerful, mostly super-happy-go-lucky kinda gal, I do tend to be afraid of rejection. And while I realize that what the secretary said- and her tone- might not have had much to do with me, but the stress of her day, etc.
-I still couldn’t help the thoughts that came to my mind, the doubts.
It’s true. They don’t want me, there.
I must have been disrespectful, somehow. Unloveable.
I must have done something wrong.
Father probably won’t call back.
They have all the parishioners They want.
Maybe I’m not meant to be Catholic…maybe I’m supposed to go to those other churches I was invited to.
And I know it’s so silly! Normally, I don’t think in such a negative way, ever! But I got myself into such a state that I did something I rarely do: I cried
This has taught me that there are some old wounds that still need healing in my heart- possibly this has to do with the fact that I haven’t heard from my mom in four years. And again, though, this seems silly, because I’ve been blessed with a wonderful stepmother who loves me as her own.
I tend to think of myself as self sufficient, nothin’ can bother me! (I can survive off of sunlight and flowers and good thoughts darn it! LOL) But in a way, those moments of pain, and thoughts I experienced, I think of those as blessings, too, because now I know what I need to work on, in myself! Just another part of the journey! (^__~)
Anywhoo- now to the good part!
So, Father called back! And he was so kind. He has an aura of cheer and peace about him.
And…oddly, he did not seem surprised that I called almost as though he was waiting for it?
So now we have a meeting set up to talk about the RCIA process, and for him to answer any questions.
I’m so happy and grateful~ I was so giddy that I was giggling like a weirdo on the phone and I think it made him laugh, too! Hehe!