One of the variations to this is not just waiting until you are older to get married, but waiting for several years to have children.
Often this is done by using The Pill.
We know personally of couples who did this, with very tough outcome.
My husband’s brother married in his mid 20s. He and his wife waited for ten years until he finished his Ph.D and got his dream job (quite well-paid) before trying to start a family. She was on the Pill.
Well, then they couldn’t have children.
No one can say whether the ten years on the Pill made the difference. It sounds like both of them had some physiological problems, including a low sperm count for him. Again, did the long wait influence this?
At any rate, they waited until they were in their mid-30s and several failed IVFs before going to the adoption route. That meant that they were really pushing the age limit, as most agencies, private or otherwise, don’t give babies to couples in their 40s.
They made it harder by requesting specifically an American white baby, with fair features, and no disabilities. Well, that’s OK. It’s better to be honest with yourself rather than not be able to bond with a baby.
It took a few more years ago before they were able to arrange an open adoption from a teen mom, and they paid her around $20,000 for her expenses, and spent the first six months of the baby’s life waiting to see if the mother would change her mind and take the baby back. (She didn’t.)
A few years later, on the last day before the 40-year-old age cutoff, they found another little boy baby and did another open adoption. Same tense wait, but again, the mom didn’t change her mind.
Anyway, this was pretty tough.
My daughter and SIL are kind of going this route and it worries me. But they only want to wait for at least three years. That’s not ten years, and I hope everything will turn out OK for them.
My husband and I conceived our children when we were in our 20s, healthy as horses. We regret not having more children, but we weren’t Catholic then and didn’t know any better.