The contempt shown to parents of large families


#1

This article speaks of the scorn given those with large families, by an author who speaks on his own terms of the opposition those face who love children, scorn from those in rich countries where people give first place to their standard of living. This account by a rabbi speaks of the same thing Catholic parents with large families also face. This article is at:
www.wnd.com/index.php?pageId=35062


#2

Great article... Thanks.


#3

My husband and I are planning on having a large family, so I’m sure we will face a lot of criticism, especially from my parents who aren’t sure they want me to have kids at all. They think they are too much work and drain on resources and don’t want me to be burdened with them. That’s the typical thinking of many people today. They only think of children in terms of how much they cost and how they impact your lifestyle.


#4

Wow, that was a good one!


#5

Children are great blessings. Every child is a blessing from God. Some of the happiest families I see are the largest.


#6

He makes a terrific point about needing an RV, I honestly hadn't considered that! I might need one of those my self one of these days....


#7

[quote="crazzeto, post:6, topic:209517"]
He makes a terrific point about needing an RV, I honestly hadn't considered that! I might need one of those my self one of these days....

[/quote]

Same here, but now I LOVE the RV. You don't have to unpack and repack when you get to places. Don't make the mistake of going too big. Not only is it too expensive, but it really limits where yoiu can go. You'd be surprised how many sleeping places can be found in a creative RV.


#8

Amen :thumbsup:


#9

:thumbsup:


#10

[quote="InspiritCarol, post:7, topic:209517"]
Same here, but now I LOVE the RV. You don't have to unpack and repack when you get to places. Don't make the mistake of going too big. Not only is it too expensive, but it really limits where yoiu can go. You'd be surprised how many sleeping places can be found in a creative RV.

[/quote]

I was going to say, RV's can be $$$... I actually got a little upset when he mentioned the problem with hotel rooms. I hadn't thought of that recently, we have always put us all in one room, but now that we are going to be a family of 7, we will have to figure out how to do it (my oldest will still be 5 yrs old when baby #5 is born, so I cannot have my older kids alone in a room, so it prolly means we will have to get 2 rooms together... do they allow 4 in a room if some are babies/toddlers?


#11

Great article!
We are pregnant with our fifth child. We have not told the family yet due to knowing their reaction will not be very supportive. THese are the same people who jump for joy when a family member mentions a new car they just purchased. So the article really resonated with me.
We just recently purchased a camper. The people we bought it from said they have outgrown it. I inquired how many children they have and they replied, “two”. My husband and I just giggled. It’s plenty big enough for our four that are here and will continue to be big enough when #5 arrives.


#12

"I am often asked by women dating men how to tell whether they are marriage material. I tell them, "See if he enjoys children." A man who loves children is playful."

Not true. I do not enjoy children because I was bullied in school (which takes YEARS to recover from), not because I dislike children. Do I enjoy being around children? No, not really. Am I "bad" person because of that, because my own childhood was so thoroughly impacted by bullying and teasing? (And people who say, "Get over it, move in," don't have a clue what they're talking about.)

As for "contempt shown to parents of large families," that's an entirely separate issue and I wish the rabbi had stuck to the issue at hand. That's WND for you. :rolleyes:


#13

[quote="havana1, post:12, topic:209517"]
Not true. I do not enjoy children because I was bullied in school (which takes YEARS to recover from), not because I dislike children. Do I enjoy being around children? No, not really. Am I "bad" person because of that, because my own childhood was so thoroughly impacted by bullying and teasing?

[/quote]

They didn't say it made you a "bad" person, they said it means you aren't marriage material. Not the same thing.


#14

People are just weird about babies and familes... It is bizarre to get unsollicited comments. And I only have twins. And I will say, I am always in AHHHHHHHH of the ladies that have more. I wonder how they manage. Only because I'm completly wiped out.

I realize though, people start making comments the moment they realize you are pregnant. Being PG with twins was actually really fun. 'Cause, I kinda forced people to squirm a bit with their blatent rudeness...

Example: I got PG at the beginning of Sept. I LOOKED about 5 mos. PG at the beg. of Nov. (that's to say, if I was having one baby.) And I measured 9 months PG (by singleton standards) at 5 months. So, I'm standing in a store. I'm looking at curtains. Minding my own business. This woman, in a very hostile tone. "If you go into labor, I AM NOT going to help you." 'Cause clearly a woman in my condition should be in bed??? She proceeds to tell me of another woman whose water broke in a store, and it was awful. So, I just responded with. "Oh, thanks I'll let my Dr. know we're still on. Besides, I'm not due for another 4 months." Which really just made me giggle. I was in GREAT shape for twins. Had so far only gained 20 lbs. She and her husband (more her husband) turned to stare. "But you're HUGE!", and my response. "oh, yes, that happens when you're carrying more than one baby." LOL! She was MORTIFIED! You just KNOW she wanted to know how many were in there! I probably told her. But it was just so funny how she felt compelled to show disgust.

Needless to say, I just don't care what others think. Except when my little guys start showing they have the energy of a whole basket ball team and we're in public. And it's ALWAYS the mothers of a large group that offer the sweet sentiments. Yes, ladies... I'm in awe! Good for you!

Regarding Hotel rooms. Probably no biggie if a door BETWEEN the rooms can be open. They would probably want an adult in each room if the only door is to the hallway.

Isn't traveling insane? The RV seems the way to go the bigger your family gets. 'Cause airfare is nutz!!!


#15

[quote="lifeisbeautiful, post:10, topic:209517"]
I hadn't thought of that recently, we have always put us all in one room, but now that we are going to be a family of 7, we will have to figure out how to do it (my oldest will still be 5 yrs old when baby #5 is born, so I cannot have my older kids alone in a room, so it prolly means we will have to get 2 rooms together... do they allow 4 in a room if some are babies/toddlers?

[/quote]

Honestly, we don't take everyone into the lobby, so no one is the wiser. My husband goes in, asks for a room with 2 queen beds, pays, returns to the car, and then we all go up to the room. He doesn't get asked how many kids he has. If we were asked, I would probably want to say something like, "Oh, we only have 'x' kids over 3 years old." The way I look at it, we won't need an extra room until we have like 6 children, since we can fit 4 people in one queen bed. :D

[quote="faithfully, post:14, topic:209517"]
Isn't traveling insane? The RV seems the way to go the bigger your family gets. 'Cause airfare is nutz!!!

[/quote]

No joke. :eek:


#16

I've found it tough to be a guy who kids like and who gets along with kids. People eye you with suspicion when you're a man and can entertain kids under 10. I'm my nieces and nephews favorite babysitter and they range from 9 months to 10 years.


#17

[quote="Truly_Beloved, post:15, topic:209517"]
Honestly, we don't take everyone into the lobby, so no one is the wiser. My husband goes in, asks for a room with 2 queen beds, pays, returns to the car, and then we all go up to the room. He doesn't get asked how many kids he has. If we were asked, I would probably want to say something like, "Oh, we only have 'x' kids over 3 years old." The way I look at it, we won't need an extra room until we have like 6 children, since we can fit 4 people in one queen bed. :D

[/quote]

:p This is what my parents did too. Now granted when we were doing most of our traveling hotels didn't even ask and just expected the children would share with the parents. When we were young either the 3 girls or the 3 boys would get one bed (and the other three would sleep on the floor) and my parents the other. When we got older 2 of one gender got one bed, parents got the other, and the rest that came got the floor. :shrug: You can always fits sleeping bags between the beds and at least one at the end of the beds. (and no it is not a fire hazard because we packed light and the luggage was always put away).


#18

[quote="Truly_Beloved, post:15, topic:209517"]
Honestly, we don't take everyone into the lobby, so no one is the wiser. My husband goes in, asks for a room with 2 queen beds, pays, returns to the car, and then we all go up to the room. He doesn't get asked how many kids he has. If we were asked, I would probably want to say something like, "Oh, we only have 'x' kids over 3 years old." The way I look at it, we won't need an extra room until we have like 6 children, since we can fit 4 people in one queen bed. :D

[/quote]

This is what my parents always did. Dad would take two kids in to the lobby with him while Mom stayed in the car with the third kid, and Dad would just say he and his wife needed a room for the night. They saw two kids, so they assumed two kids, and we never had to pay for a second room.

We usually got rooms near a side exit so we'd carry our luggage in that way rather than passing through the lobby again.


#19

I went to college with two guys who ended up teaching kindergarten and preschool respectively and they are great at what they do. The kids adore them. I wish more men would be involved in education and/or childcare. Children need male role models, especially considering how many have no fathers at home.


#20

[quote="mdgspencer, post:1, topic:209517"]
This article speaks of the scorn given those with large families, by an author who speaks on his own terms of the opposition those face who love children, scorn from those in rich countries where people give first place to their standard of living. This account by a rabbi speaks of the same thing Catholic parents with large families also face. This article is at:
www.wnd.com/index.php?pageId=35062

[/quote]

So true. We only have four (and won't have any more because my husband did get a vasectomy--I'm trying to accept this with as much grace as possible), but the things family and others have said have been absolutely cruel. I was given sterilization pamphlets when pregnant with my second son.

It is really hard knowing that one of my parents thinks I'm overpopulating the earth. Or when they suggest that having more than one or two is somehow detrimental to children.

I grew up an only child. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Sure, it may happen naturally, but I believe God meant for people to have warm, large, loving families. I pray that each of my kids has as many children as they want to care for---even if that means they each want and will care for 20.

God bless all of you large families out there! Of course, I guess this is repeating myself, because if you have a large family....obviously you're already very blessed!


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