[quote="Angel7, post:8, topic:181307"]
See I am not at the age where I can take charge of my Life, my family doesn't like the fact that I became very religious and limits me to going only twice a year. I need The Sacrament of Reconciliation very much in my life. Persuading them to let me got more than that would be a tough job... but not impossible i suppose. That is probably one of the reasons why I need help, I am really not sure if I am 100% cured of the Scrupulous, maybe I am somewhat better ( I am better now than I was a few weeks/ months ago).
There are some times I where wonder if I am:
Refusing to Admit THat I Commited a Mortal Sin.
Sincerely doubtful and unsure
I learned from the Scrupulous Anonymous letters to have Confidence in God. I trust the Lord, with everything, including my soul. I want to put it all behind me and receive Him in The Blessed Sacrament.
Recently I just began to shrug off moments where I think I might have commited mortal sins, I am not sure if this is a good practice.
I feel a bit overwhelmed by the smallest things.
It does sound as if you may be suffering from scruples which is confusing you knowing your state of soul with clarity and right understanding. The best way to deal with your problem I think is twofold:
]Ask God to help you every day with your difficulties and ask Our Lady and St. Joseph to keep you in their prayers always.
*]When you go to Confession tell Father all of your problems and if necessary write them down first (if you think you may forget something). Ask Father would he please listen to what you have written and advise you and then read it to him in Confession. Tell Father also that your family is restricting you to two Confessions yearly and sometimes you are afraid to go to Holy Communion unsure of your state of soul and ask him what to do. Do listen attentively to what Father has to say and abide by it - have confidence in his advice.
[/LIST]Some years ago I went through a long journey (years) of scruples and desperate wrote down all I wanted to say to Father after asking him would he listen please to what I had written. He did listen. The advice he gave me was wonderful and I have never looked back from that day to scruples again.
Confession is not only the sacrament for forgiveness of our sins and failures, it is also a wondrous source of many Graces and spiritual advice.
Are you able to go to a religious order priest for Confession? I find these religious priests excellent spiritual advisors and it is spiritual advice that you need. If you cannot go to a religious order priest, do you have confidence in the priest who is your normal confessor in the confessional? By this I mean, a priest whom you feel you can talk to openly and feel relatively comfortable about it. This is not essential for all the Graces and good advice of the confessional, but it can be helpful to know something about our confessor or even better to have a regular confessor. Sometimes too it can be helpful just to make an appointment with a priest and talk over all your difficulties with him.
Whatever you decide to do, make a firm resolution to tell Father everything* at your very next Confession or by making an appointment to talk with a priest.
You will receive many, many Graces by refraining from going to Holy Communion because you do not know or unsure about your state of soul and suspecting possibly a state of mortal sin - until such time as you can be sure of your state of soul. Rest assured of that! Here is the Act of Spiritual Communion we can make if unable for some reason to go to Holy Communion:
"Dear Jesus, since I cannot now receive You sacramentally, please come spiritually into my soul and remain with me forever. Amen"
I will keep you in prayer, Angel7.