I hardly know how to begin. For at least a year or two I’ve mistakenly believed that one is allowed to receive Communion while in the state of mortal sin as long as they were completely repentant and resolved to go to Confession. I always prayed something I had heard somewhere, “Lord, let this Eucharist be not to my judgement or condemnation, but for the healing of my soul and body.” Many priests who had spoken with my mother told her it was better to receive the Eucharist to help fight against the sin than to abstain for long periods of time.
Last night, I went to Mass and received Communion, uncertain whether a sin I’ve been struggling with for years fulfilled all three requirements of mortal sins. Immediately after Mass, I asked the priest to hear my confession. When he was giving me advice afterward, he urged me to go to Confession before receiving Communion, so I looked up the matter in the Catechism, only to realize that it SPECIFICALLY says NOT to receive the Eucharist in a mortally sinful state. I feel sick to my stomach now, and I have so many questions. Did I commit a mortal sin by knowingly receiving the Eucharist in a state of sin? Was the Confession invalid because I hadn’t confessed to that sacrilege? Should I go again before I next receive and make sure to confess all of my sins?
Thank you for your advice, and please pray for me! I can hardly bear to think of what I’ve done.