[quote="Caroline723, post:2, topic:328726"]
The following is just my experience:
1) "falling in love" requires mutuality. A person needs to guard this part of his/her heart until they are in a relationship where reciprocity is demonstrated. Love is an act of the will. Falling in love is a mixture of attraction and a will (conscious deliberate act).
2) Lust and attraction are superficial and not to be relied on. If you are lusting after someone, it is a bad start to any relationship. If you are attracted to someone, it would be very good to examine what exactly you are attracted to. Is it because he is charming, aloof and cocky? or because he is humble, kind and devout? If he is is a mixture of these, be cautious.
3) Admiration is a willful decision. Like attraction, it would be good to ask yourself what you admire about the person.
4) There's no such thing as an intimate friendship between a man and woman. If either are married, it's disrespectful to the spouse and a violation of of the marriage vow. If both are single, why are they intimately friendly in a non-sexual way but not dating/married? Intimacy always includes attraction.
5) If a person has a habit of having unhealthy attachments to others (holding onto crushes; holding on to relationships after they've ended; losing their own identity when in a relationship; trying to find their identity in others, etc), this is not going to magically go away by finding "the one". If anything, it is the cause of mismatched marriages and divorces. If you sense you have a habit of unhealthy attachments, you will never have a healthy relationship until you address the source of that in counseling. Counseling will bring you from a place of "I need" to a place of "I would like" in terms of relationships. That's the place to be if you want to find lasting love.
Thank you for that. It has helped clarify things for me. Perhaps I should explain a bit further.
I definitely do NOT want an attraction to this person! As I stated earlier, that would be completely out of the question and lead to some serious sin. This person is a teacher of mine who has helped me tremendously. I have known him for 2 years now, but within the past few months, I found myself thinking about him and being happy every time I see him. None of the thoughts are lustful or anything of the sort, but I started to wonder my delight in seeing him was more than admiration and friendship. Maybe it's scruples, and then again, maybe it's prudence.
Do I just enjoy his presence because he has helped me so much and he is an awesome teacher and I admire him as a person, or am I subtly getting attracted or attached to him? Is it admiration and respect, or attraction, or both?
Is there a way I can still be around him and learn from him and be prudent not to allow any inappropriate feelings or thoughts? Or am I misinterpreting my feelings of admiration for attraction and just being scrupulous?