From the outside it sounds good, but the singles wards are not all they are cracked up to be. With the exception of about 3 years, I attended an LDS singles ward from the time I started attending BYU at age 18 to age 30 when I (finally) got married.
Do you want to know how many boyfriends I had that I met in a singles ward? I had one for about 4 months during my time at BYU. I was the instigator of that relationship as he was quite passive. It didn’t last because I didn’t want to be with a man I could walk all over. Other than this boyfriend, I never was asked out or had any kind of positive male attention that was more than just friendship during my time at BYU.
After I graduated, I had all of two dates with LDS men in the 5 years I attended a singles ward and neither was due to the man being remotely interested in me. The first was a blind date because a friend from the singles ward had a friend who was coming to Houston for a formal dance and needed a date. My date came from College Station and I actually had a good time. I would have gone out with him again and even would have driven out to College Station if he was remotely interested, but he wasn’t. My other date was the result of my bishop telling one of the men to ask me out. He was pushing the men to have lots of first dates to get to know the women. So I had a date. I had a nice time, but that was it. LDS men in the singles wards I attended never found me attractive, or if they did, they never acted like it.
Compare this to all the positive male attention I received outside of the LDS church. I would have random men stop me at the grocery store to tell me how beautiful I am. (I do not think I am all that beautiful. I have really beautiful red hair, but that’s about all I really have going for me). I had male co-workers who were shocked that I never dated or had a boyfriend, especially given the fact that I attended a singles ward where the male/female ratio was 1:1. I even had an older man hit on me while in line to vote and ask if he could take me out sometime. (I declined because he was at least as old as my father and I didn’t want to date a man that much older than me). It was unfortunate that I limited my social life outside of work to the LDS church.
The funny thing is that I knew that if I attended pretty much any other church that had a young singles ministry, I probably would have dated quite a bit and found a husband in a relatively short period of time. For a long time, I was too obstinate of a Mormon woman to date anyone outside of the LDS church. I was fortunate to find the man who became my husband when I did.
I was not the only single woman in my singles ward who was dateless. It was pretty much the norm for most women, especially those who do not meet the mold of a good Mormon woman. I would say in a Mormon singles ward about 80% of the men pay attention to 20% of the women. It was rather depressing, and I had resigned myself to being a plural wife after death. It is soul crushing and I really feel bad for my friends who won’t date non-LDS men because they are holding out for their priesthood holder who can take them to the temple.