The new celibacy: How porn may be destroying the impetus for sex [CNA]


#1

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/images/size340/Computer_CNA.jpgDenver, Colo., Jan 3, 2016 / 08:49 am (CNA).- One of music artist John Mayer’s most signature songs is “Daughters,” a sweet and simple tribute to the importance of parents’ influence on their little girls. Here’s the refrain:

“So fathers, be good to your daughters, Daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers who turn into mothers, So mothers, be good to your daughters too.”

But when John Mayer isn’t crooning about your beautiful daughters, he’s looking at naked pictures of them, sometimes hundreds at a time before he gets out of bed in the morning. In fact, he often prefers that to an actual human being, according to his wildly controversial 2010 interview with Playboy magazine.

“You wake up in the morning, open a thumbnail page, and it leads to a Pandora’s box of visuals. There have probably been days when I saw 300 (naked women) before I got out of bed,” he told the magazine.

Unfortunately, Mayer’s morning routine is not unique to him. Studies show that easy access to free internet pornography is having devastating effects on real-life relationships.

Preferring pixels to people

“For many individuals, the more porn they consume, the more likely it is that they can end up preferring the fantasy to reality, they can end up preferring the pixels to a person, and that’s really messing up relationships, as you can imagine,” said Clay Olsen, co-founder of the internet movement “Fight the New Drug” (FTND).

The FTND movement, so named because of porn’s addictive properties, aims to raise awareness of the harmful effects of pornography through creative mediums such as blogs, videos and infographics. The website includes personal stories as well as scientific studies to illustrate pornography’s effects on the brain, the heart (relationships), and ultimately on the world.

“Our goal is to change the conversation from ‘Dude, check this out,’ to ‘Dude, that’s messed up,’” Olsen told CNA.

The longstanding, pervasive cultural narrative surrounding pornography is that it is a healthy sexual outlet and can improve sex lives. However, science begs to differ. Several studies cited in FTND’s article, “Porn Ruins Your Sex Life,” found that pornography not only leads to dissatisfying sex, it can lead to less sex with actual human beings.

Full article…


#2

Yeap. In Japan some people got so addicted to anime-style sex, that they are repulsed by real women…


#3

And casual sex does not relieve inner loneliness either.

So much sex and isolation.


#4

Satan’s plan to take over the world starts with the family. And looking at divorce rate, pornography, contraception, abortion, homosexuality, and transgenderism, and how widely accepted most of these evils are, I’d say Satan has a good hold on us. :frowning:


#5

I have counselled a little on line, especially those with homosexual inclination.

I recall with them the life of the celibates who were very gifted and gave all to society. Last night I watched the program on Steve Jobs where it seemed his company was really his family. Some parts of his life’s decisions made me sad. But I saw alot of good in him as well.

I think one way to counteract is to promote giving of self to help others as a start, praying that this will lead them to Christ.


#6

I viewed pornography regularly (and, perhaps, even compulsively) for about six years before a desire to re-engage with my faith life, the sacrament of reconciliation and a general influx of God’s grace helped me break the habit. It’s been about 4 years since I’ve sat down and viewed pornography (although, admittedly, there’s been two or three instances where there have been some minor slip-ups) and it amazes how much it still affects me.

Even if you stop viewing pornography, regularly viewing pornography for any length of time gives a library of hundreds, maybe even thousands, of images and situations which will probably persist indefinitely. That makes remaining chaste in mind and body much more difficult.

Moreover, in my personal experience, pornography makes it much harder to date. Even deciding to make a commitment to a single person becomes more difficult when porn trains you to crave and expect endless variety. It’s also more difficult enter into a relationship with an entirely pure heart and pure intentions when pornography not only introduces the user to pornographic situations and, in some ways, trains the user to expect those types of encounters.

Finally, its rather amazing to see just how addictive porn really is. 4 years out, on days when I’ve tempted to relapse, it’s porn, and not masturbation, which remains the biggest area of temptation. Quitting regular masturbation will diminish the body’s need for constant sexual stimulation and satisfaction (at least, in my experience) but in some experiences the hunger for porn never diminishes.

Just my experiences with porn.

No comment on the article itself except to say that warnings of impotency and a decreased impulse for sex don’t seem to represent those individuals in my life who use porn. Not saying they’re wrong, but it would seem to me that an approach which says “all these terrible things will automatically happen to you if you look at porn” needs to be tempered with the realization that different people will react differently. Saying these things will happen only diminishes the ability to fight against pornography if individuals indulge and find porn isn’t affecting them in quite the way they though. I’m thinking of the D.A.R.E. program here, where exaggerated warning against drug use actually increase drug usage when people discover those warning weren’t applying to them.


closed #7

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