The origin of love that homosexuals feel for one another

I have heard that God is love, and that all love is from God. God is indeed the source and originator of goodness and all that is love.

Now, what is it that homosexuals feel for each other?

Could we just put it down to eros or lust? I mean, you hear these remarkable stories of men who stay together well into their 80s, in what seems to be a truly loving relationship.

Now, if homosexuals did feel true love for one another, and God disapproves of homosexual relationships… then where is this love from? If all love is of God, and I know it’s a big ‘if’, but if homosexuals do truly love each other… where is it from? Could it still be of God, simply expressed in some distorted fashion?

I would like to take a shot at this…

The love you describe is from God, brotherly or intimate. If a homosexual relationship includes the act of sex then the line has been crossed. This is no different than a heterosexual relationship involving premarital sex - one is just as wrong as the other.

The difference between the homosexual and the heterosexual relationships that God approves is going to be in valid marriage. The church teaches that God only approves of the sexual act within a valid marriage and only one man and one woman make up a valid marriage, therefor only man and woman are only allowed to have sex. While society has desensitized itself to premarital sex acts and to a lesser degree homosexual acts, neither are approved by God and are equally wrong. The heterosexual premarital sex act can become an approved act by God only after the couple is validly married, the homosexual sex act can never be approved but he love in any of these relationships is always of God.

Hope this helps.

I am only guessing here and could be way off the mark. But I think love is love, and that homosexuals who feel love for someone of their same gender are experiencing true love as they understand it. God’s love of course surpasses all of our own experiences and understanding of love. His is the greatest love of all. Our love is always flawed.

Maybe, and I say maybe, there is some sort of flaw involved with the expression of love between homosexuals, but really think the flaw lies in our understanding of what love is. I have a girlfriend that I met in Jr. High. We have been friends 43 years and I love her like a sister. We are not homosexual nor are we married. We are single by choice, but we love each other ever bit as much as we love our own sisters.

Love is a deep emotion that does not have to have anything to do with sexuality or sex. I sometimes wonder if this is the kind of love homosexuals have for a same sex friend and that it is co-mingled with their physical attractions. Again I am no expert trying to claim some high and mighty explanation. Just thinking here.

As a heterosexual I do not have an emotional understanding of same sex attraction. It is nothing I have experienced. But I have met men and women who I knew I immediately wanted to know and have in my life, because of a sense of their spirit and personality. That is a form of attraction, but not sexual.

Anyway, I hope that gives you some idea of how love between homosexuals might come about or be felt.

Don’t be deceived, as Eve was by the serpent in the Garden of Eden to eat the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. Don’t be tricked into thinking homosexuality is “love”. Love doesn’t go against God’s will.

Well, recall the Book of Genesis where God created us male and female, in the Divine image and likeness. The Divine image and likeness is a very special blessing we humans have, and we are also told we are temples of the Holy Spirit.

Man was to leave his father and mother and cling to his **WIFE…NOT **husband!
Further, the couple was to be fruitful and multiply.

There are a number of biblical references to homosexuality, and **NONE **of them talk about it in a positive light. You have the references to Sodom and Gomorrah where those two cities were destroyed, at least in part, due to the rampant homosexuality.

All the biblical quotes on homosexuality use words like “abomination”,

1 Corinthians 6:9: “Do you not know that the unjust will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators nor idolaters nor adulterers nor homosexuals nor sodomites … will inherit the kingdom of God.”

Leviticus 18:22: “**You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; such a thing is an abomination.” **

1 Timothy 1:10: “… law is meant not for a righteous person but for the lawless and unruly … the unchaste,** practicing homosexuals**, kidnapers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is opposed to sound teaching.”

Romans 1:26-27: “Therefore, God handed them over to degrading passions. Their females exchanged natural relations for unnatural, and the males likewise gave up natural relations with females and burned with lust for one another. Males did shameful things with males and thus received in their own persons the due penalty for their perversity.”

Again, by defending homosexuality, one is not helping anyone, because it is very clearly going against God and nature.

Just because some people have homosexual inclinations, does not make homosexual acts okay. The Bible and Catechism teach us that homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered and sinful. Defending homosexual acts is not love, because you are encouraging others in sin.

I like your train of thought.

I have loved one man for over 30 years. I would say that my feelings are quite similar to those of a man and woman in love. You want to be with them always, you can not imagine life is without them. You smile when he comes into the room. You rejoice in each others happiness and you share your sadness. You become part of each others family. (It happens in the best of Catholic families) You would gladly give your life for him. You want to go to heaven with him.

I have known gay couples who have been together for several days to over 60 years. I have shared their stories, how they met during WWII, learned about their careers. Prayed with them, counseled them when they needed it, helped them, received help from them when I needed it. Pretty normal stuff. No wild sex parties or partner swapping, just living. Don’t get the idea that all I have is gay friends and living a gay lifestyle, the majority of my close friends are straight.

God didn’t make me gay, I was most likely born with the potential to be gay and my early environment made my body realize that potential. No matter how much I didn’t want to be gay and prayed. It didn’t matter I am who I am - the sum total of my genetics and my experiences.

You ask “could it be of God, in some distorted fashion.” I don’t think so, some here say its the because its the fall of man, I don’t think that either. I think it is nature, some turn out straight, some bi, some gay, some transgendered. Lets not play the blame game, God didn’t do it, our parents didn’t do it, this sisters I had in elementary school didn’t do and we ourselves didn’t do it. Its life and life is unpredictable.

Am I a better Christian for it? Possibly

Am I a worse Christian for it? Possibly

Ask yourself are you a better Christian for being straight? or bi or transgendered or gay?

Are you a worse Christian for being straight? or bi or transgendered or gay?

I have babbled on long enough. I appreciate that there is a forum when I could do so and good people on here who I hope I didn’t bore too much.

Who are you addressing? There hasn’t been a single post in this thread defending homosexual acts.

Where does this love come from?
Here’s a great quote from a fantastic little book Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence


Nothing happens in the the universe without God willing and allowing it.  This statement must he taken absolutely of everything with the exception of sin.  'Nothing occurs by chance in the whole course of our lives' is the unanimous teaching of the Fathers and Doctors of the Church, 'and God intervenes everywhere.'

This love, however it comes about, is allowed by God. It could be that God placed it there for His Divine purposes. Possibly to teach discipline and obedience (?).

Here’s where Christianity really separates itself from the world.

People who suffer from same-sex attraction are actually blessed … just as someone who suffers from, say, being born without legs, suffer and are therefore also blessed. Yes, to be able to suffer is a blessing.

I can not begin to understand same-sex attraction, but in my mind it seems like one of the hardest crosses to bear. If one is truly only attracted to the same sex (and not just giving in to some ‘kinky’ sort of thrill) AND if that same person wants to serve and obey God then they have to control their actions.

But with great sufferings comes great blessings. God will remember everyone who willingly accepts their suffering (no matter what kind of suffering it is).
If I knew any homosexuals, and if they held Christian beliefs, I would ask for their prayers, for myself and for the poor souls in purgatory. God demands that we all live chaste lives. (Even withing a traditional marriage one must remain faithful to one’s vows and to God, to matter how hard it may become.)

The real key, and something I am trying to learn, is to accept suffering joyfully.
If one really loves someone of the same sex then they must accept their lot in life AND remain faithful to God at the same time.

So, the source of this same-sex attraction that leads to love (a love that can never be fulfilled) either comes from God or He allows it to develop in someone FOR THE GOOD OF THEIR IMMORTAL SOULS. I cannot understand that … but I’m not God and I don’t “see the big picture”, so to speak.

Ooo boy, I hope the above held together … at least enough to make a little bit of sense.

God be with you,

  • Reg.

At a workshop or training for our crisis pregnancy centre that i went to we were asked what kind of love was necessary in a marriage, eros, agape, or philia? The answer: all of them. It would be the same for people who are gay.

I know someone is going to say it’s not love if it causes someone to sin but let’s try to acknowledge that there is love there.

EDIT: Eros isn’t the same as lust.


  • It depends on the person.
  • The person’s involvement in the relationship might be based on a giving, unitive caring, it could be eroticized, or it could be a lustful using of the other; the relationship might change from one form to the other. Once lust enters the picture, things go bad.
  • Love is a gift from God.
  • We are all broken in one manner or another. It seems easier for some than others, but we should all strive to be chaste; the inclination not to be, does not come from God.

I think I get it and we are trying to get to the same thing in different ways.

I’m mostly trying to negate the idea I read on here so often that there is love is absent in a gay relationship. “Love doesn’t lead to sin” or whatever.

Attraction and sex are designed to be fruitful and are natures way of propogation. Apart from human beings, none of this attraction and intercourse have the aspect of love since love indicates an awareness of a higher purpose for existence than biological function.

When a disordered attraction occurs in nature, because it results in fundamentally barren actions, the authority of the disorder dies with the fruitlessness of those acts and the integrity of natures design is naturally protected.

That is why for society to accept fundamentally barren relationships as marriage, it is accepting and propogating a lie of nature. Attraction and intercourse must be a fundamentally fruitful equation. If that is disregarded, man would begin to operate on a lie that would undermine the soundness of love in every relationship between humans.

Love never expresses itself through sin.

But there isn’t.

Humans, first, are naturally inclined to seek love,
companionship, intimacy, etc. by God’s design.

Homosexuality is not of God’s design, such would
not exist, so the theory goes, if the Fall had never
happened. Not saying people who are gay would
not exist, but they would not be so had humanity
ever fallen from the Grace of God.

Nevertheless, it is what it is, some people can be
either born homosexual or have experiences that
lead them to be homosexual, whatever the case,
the basic drive to strive for companionship is still
there, though it is sadly misdirected.

Lust and carnal desires can also play a role, but
that would be quite an accusation to make absol-
utely towards any individual. It wouldn’t be fair to
claim it as purely pleasure based, not fair at all.

I also want to make clear my personal opinion,
which I believe is also of the Catholic Church’s,
that homosexuality is not a choice, but rather
an inclination. It is therefore logical to state for
certain that it is NOT a sin to BE gay. I’m sure
there are others here who share the same idea.

There is no reason that homosexuals can not know love. God is also the source of all truth, yet we know that we can find truth in some form in many place; science, other religions, philosophy. Man is made in God’s image and we are capable of love because of our humanity, and that part of us which is in the image of God. Is a homosexual incapable of loving their parent, siblings, children, friends? I can see that denying that someone who is homosexual the ability to love is a type of dehumanization. I also think it is an poor argument to use, because it is so counter to common sense and actual experience.

I have never heard it questioned whether a man is capable of loving someone in a second marriage, or if he lives with a girlfriend before marriage. For that matter, can a rich man love? After all, it is the rich man that Jesus says has the tough time getting into heaven. He never made that sort of statement about an adulterer.

Of course homosexuals can love.But their is no love involved in a homosexual relationship

I don’t think that’s entirely accurate. It isn’t by God’s design, it carries
certain elements (such as love) of God’s original design, but it is mis-
directed as a result of the fall.

To suggest that there is “no love involved” may be too presumptuous.

Never, ever? Not even when one likes his eggs scrambled but makes the eggs sunny side up because his partner likes them that way? Or helps take care of an aging parent? Volunteer at a shelter together?

I personally can not testify to this, never being in that situation, but I wonder if those in that situation would agree with this.

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