[quote="GraceDK, post:1, topic:191397"]
Hi everyone :) Haven't been on here for a while.
Now I have a question that I would like to hear people's comments on.
I met in the past some guys that I was passionately in love with but who would not have been good husband material, and under circumstances which were bad (non-believers etc).
Now I have finally met a good believing guy, mature, handsome, sweet, considerate, deep, loving and overwhelming in his responses towards me, also when I am more than difficult.
I have never met a guy like him, and feel he is really what I want if I had made a list.
But that feeling is lacking... that feeling you know..
So I have taken a time out from being in contact with him daily, and thus hurt his feelings with my indecisive manner.
I would just like to hear about peoples personal experience..
Did you all fall in love with your fiancé(e)/spouse in that way which is called "falling in love" passionately, which gives butterflies in the stomach etc.. ?
Or did some of you choose to be with a person who you didnt "fall in love with" because you simply saw that this person was good and beautiful in your eyes and you liked being with them... and then maybe came to fall in love/or love later, after comitting.. or .. I dont know what to say.
I feel I am in a great dilemma.. I really enjoy spending time with this person, we have super-many things in common, he can handle me, communicate with me, like the same things I like, have same spirituality etc. He is wonderful and independent. There are so many good things to say. And he is in love with me and dedicated.. but I feel that something is missing in my feelings and some emptiness and sentimentality is in me even when he is close to me...
Have anyone been in this situation. What did you do to get clarification about what to do, besides praying? and please don't say the answer is already in the silence of my heart. I really cant hear it.. :confused:
You sound a little like me....Guy was great on paper but not sure how i felt.
I wouldn't say i ever got butterfiles in my stomach over my fiancé. It took God a long time to knock me over the head to see that this friend i had was the perfect guy for me. And when i mean perfect i don't mean he doesn't have faults etc but that he fits all the things i knew had to be met in a spouse (catholic, smart, makes me laugh etc.). All i knew is that i liked him a lot and didn't want to screw things up. (There is a comfort level that comes with knowing your partner and knowing that you share so many good strong building blocks so don't over look those things!)
Then things changed slowly. I knew that just holding his hand made me feel special, i enjoyed spending time doing the little things like working on his house and just being with him. He supported me in everything i did and made me want to be a better women. I had never told a man until him that "I loved him" but even after that i still never felt the butterfiles. I just knew that i could trust him.
I think a big part of that is because i had given my heart to God to protect. I still couldn't believe that i was worthy of this beautiful and wonderful man. And i didn't want to get hurt and because i had come from divorced parents. I didn't quite think i would find a man i could spend the rest of my life with.
Honestly until i got engaged i didn't get those butterflies. I get them now just thinking about him and when i get a hug from him or he grabs my hand to hold during the movies i get all those butterfiles. Part of it is that i know he is committed to me. He wants to be with. He wants to build a life with me. He wouldn't have given me his family ring if he wasn't going to stick around!
I know that still am protecting my heart just a little because we aren't married yet but i can't wait till oct 16th!!! Also what i thought was love in the beginning of our relationship has deepened and change.
My Suggestions: It sounds like you are on the right path. Taking things slow. God has a plan for each of us so we just need to be open. Don't believe that things will be anything like they are in the movies. Love doesn't happen like that. When i watch those movies now i look at them and go you have no idea what your talking about. My love is so much deeper then they show.
Questions for you...Now that you have taken a step back do you still feel the urge to call him and communicate with him? Do you miss the contact with him? If you do then you might have a path you can go down. But if you have gone on like nothing is different and you don't feel the need to to talk to him then maybe your answer is that your meant to be friends and nothing more.