The Road Back to God

Hello everyone. I’m posting a new thread to ask for tips on how to find my way back to God. In the past year, I’ve been struggling with my conscience and what others say about my situations. This constant back and forth has led me down a road of sin and indifference towards God. The original thing that bothered me was the type of music that played overhead at the gym. This really pricked my conscience because I remember a homily that a priest gave about the children of Fatima and their innocence and purity and I just felt that I shouldn’t even go near the gym again. I loved working out though I asked so many people and a few priest who told me that as part of being in the world, we will be exposed to impure things. I still felt uneasy going to the gym, but reluctant to give it up.

This constant back and forth got me frustrated with God, and as I result began overeating as a result of the stress, which in turn led me to commit more sins that I knew were wrong, but with time I became indifferent to. I know though that from the level of my productivity, this cycle is doing harm to my life physically, mentally, and spiritually.

I tried going to confession to clear up these things and begin on a fresh-slate, but all of my confessions in the past few months have felt void and empty with no sorrow for having offended God. Objectively speaking, I know that I have sinned and need to change, but the feeling of being sorry isn’t there. I feel like I don’t have the sorrow I used to have when I thought about Jesus and his love.

As a result of my sins, I haven’t been praying every day devoutly like I used to and I now have trouble listening to other people, even to my authorities. I still get distracted when I pray, and I don’t feel any compassion towards anyone like I used to. I know objectively speaking that I need to change. But I’m not sure how to get back on the road to God. Any tips on what I should do? I tried asking God to give me true sorrow and knowledge about what my sins are, but it always keeps going back to the issue of exercise and what I want and I end up in the same frustrating cycle. What must I do? How do I “let go and let God”?

When I go to the gym, I wear an MP3 player and earphones so I can listen to the music I want. It isn’t “Christian music” but it isn’t music filled with sexual or profane language…just nice songs that I like to listen to. This may sound a little strange, but at the end of my workouts I go on the treadmill and listen to The Chaplet of Divine Mercy (in song) and meditate on Jesus’ Passion…being with Him in the garden, during the scourging, crowning of thorns and carrying the cross to Calvary. I sometimes put the treadmill on an incline and imagine myself walking up to Calvary with Jesus, helping Him carry the cross. Then at the end of the chaplet, kneeling before the Cross and asking God for mercy.

Your prayers do not have to be long and drawn out or repetitious so they become stale. Sometimes I put aside all the traditional prayers and just talk to God. I tell Him about my day. I tell Him what is bothering me and ask for His help. I use my own words as they come to me. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I talk to Him for 2 minutes, sometimes for 20 minutes.

Just talk to God. Just let Him know you love Him and thank Him for all He does for you. He knows what is already in your heart…just share it with Him.

God Bless

Just some thoughts… I’d recommend trying to trust God and being generous with Him, with trust.

There can be ways to work out without listening to the impure music. Like working out at home, things like roller blading etc, or even using headphones. Music could indeed be impure at the gym and we need to make sure there is modesty too. But its possible to still have physical exercise in ways even if it means changing something.

There are a lot of things wrong in our culture its true. We just try our best to eliminate what we can, and if something is there that we can’t eliminate, (like you’re walking down the street and accidently see something) that is different. We just try our best. :slight_smile: sometimes I use headphones when there’s a high chance I’d hear something that can affect me. I just listen to my own music.

Regarding the frustration, I think usually when this happens to us its a combination of distrust and self will. Try to make acts of trust and surrender regardless of what that could mean :slight_smile: God knows what is best! I don’t know your soul but distrust keeps us further from God then all the other sins. It robs us of graces. Try to talk to Him and just pray to open up to Him, ask Our Lady for that, and make decisions to get rid of the sins that are on your conscience. This cooperation with grace could help you to have more contrition for Confession :slight_smile:

God bless you!

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