Hello everyone. I’m posting a new thread to ask for tips on how to find my way back to God. In the past year, I’ve been struggling with my conscience and what others say about my situations. This constant back and forth has led me down a road of sin and indifference towards God. The original thing that bothered me was the type of music that played overhead at the gym. This really pricked my conscience because I remember a homily that a priest gave about the children of Fatima and their innocence and purity and I just felt that I shouldn’t even go near the gym again. I loved working out though I asked so many people and a few priest who told me that as part of being in the world, we will be exposed to impure things. I still felt uneasy going to the gym, but reluctant to give it up.
This constant back and forth got me frustrated with God, and as I result began overeating as a result of the stress, which in turn led me to commit more sins that I knew were wrong, but with time I became indifferent to. I know though that from the level of my productivity, this cycle is doing harm to my life physically, mentally, and spiritually.
I tried going to confession to clear up these things and begin on a fresh-slate, but all of my confessions in the past few months have felt void and empty with no sorrow for having offended God. Objectively speaking, I know that I have sinned and need to change, but the feeling of being sorry isn’t there. I feel like I don’t have the sorrow I used to have when I thought about Jesus and his love.
As a result of my sins, I haven’t been praying every day devoutly like I used to and I now have trouble listening to other people, even to my authorities. I still get distracted when I pray, and I don’t feel any compassion towards anyone like I used to. I know objectively speaking that I need to change. But I’m not sure how to get back on the road to God. Any tips on what I should do? I tried asking God to give me true sorrow and knowledge about what my sins are, but it always keeps going back to the issue of exercise and what I want and I end up in the same frustrating cycle. What must I do? How do I “let go and let God”?