I’m alone and sad and apparently ugly cause I can’t seem to get a date even when I’m not moping around, and it’s been years since I’ve even been on a date much less one-on-one with another female my age or thereabouts, so can I just get it over with and hire a prostitute? No, seriously, the sex industry is thriving because of guys like me, guys who try to be decent, upstanding citizens who go to Mass regularly, who treat women with respect, always polite, and ready to do just about anything for some wholesome social interaction with someone of the opposite sex.
Maybe your “moping” around is more visible than you think.
Why do you think having a date would fix your loneliness and sadness?
Maybe you are not called to marriage, maybe you are being called to the priesthood or religious life.
Don’t think that the way to happiness is through marriage, because most likely it will not be.
If you want happiness, devote yourself 100% to God.
Sounds like you are looking for sex, not a true relationship…a relationship to finally have sex is not the direction you need to go…
You are probably trying too hard.
Most girls that go into prostitution do it not because they are lonely but for pure hard cash. Many have addictions they need to feed and others do it with the mistaken belief they dont have a choice in order to make a living.
The demand for their services “has been throughout history a demand that will not go away. However I sincerely hope that the majority who use these services are not as you say " guys like me, guys who try to be decent, upstanding citizens who go to Mass regularly, who treat women with respect, always polite, and ready to do just about anything for some wholesome social interaction with someone of the opposite sex” If this is the case we are in a sorry state of moral decay. I think the fact that porn is so readily acceptable as a “decent” man’s magazine has a lot to do with this warped mentality that prostitution fulfills a necessary evil. Men who cant “get it” must have a release or they will release their frustrations on society. I hope this is not the case.
Here’s a thought. There are many more men in this world who are uglier than you and are also in a loving relationship with the opposite sex. The difference is in the attitude. Peace
If you aren’t happy with yourself now, when you’re single, then you’re not going to he happy when you have a girlfriend.
You’re searching the wrong things and you certainly aren’t going to find happiness with a hooker. Because what then happens in a few weeks or months when you’re lonely again? Another sad and deseperate woman making you feel better for an hour? A huge hole in your wallet after? The risk of STDs and the darkness a mortal sin will place on your soul?
When you feel lonely, why not begin praying the rosary or talking to God , your’e not lonely when in conversation withou our Lord.
Going to a prostitute will make you happy for about ten minutes. After that the fact that you have put your soul in a very good chance of spending eternity in hell removes some of the joy. Then spend the next few years wondering if maybe you could have contacted HIV that may become full blown AIDS, that should put a damper on the happyness meter.
There is no reason you can’t find a date. Do this; simply go to a crowed mall in your area on any Saturday afternoon, Go get a soft drink from the food court and then find a place in one of the main corridors and sit down and watch the crowds. After a day of watching couples and families and other couples that you would consider really mix matched and it soon becomes apparent that there is someone for everyone.
Sounds to me like you’re lonely. I was in a foreign country alone, did’t speek the language and craving a woman, I was in this situation for about 4 years. DON’T GO TO A PROSTITUTE. Satin is working you, and you feeling about women and loneliness are route 1 to you’re self image, confidence, and you’re relationship with the Lord, if you do go to a prostitute you will feel like you have betrayed God , yourself and the prostitute. If you have trouble with lust, the Sacred Heart devotion is for you.
I’m in a big hurry right now… I’ll post again in a few hours. Hang in there it is a sort of test/cleansing that you may be going through, this may well be for you’re own good.
HANG IN THERE buddy.
I’m back again.
In the Sacred heart devotion (which I have recently began to practice)there are various promises from the Lord, but also there is temporal remission of the physical effects of CONFESSED sins, that means confess sins involving lust,attend mass on the first Friday for 9 consecutive months receive communion, offer the mass, prayers, and sacrifice
for the intentions of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the intentions of the Holy Father B16.
I’am utterly confident in this because I was finally relieved of my own disordered lustful cravings yesterday. I am married, my wife had a very heavy pregnancy with our second child who is now 3 months old, my wife is in pain most of the time now but she is slowly getting better thank God. My own disordered lust has been a real thorn in my side at a time when my wife is feeling bad it has been relentless. That is the nature of the deadly sins they cannot ever ever be satisfied…never, they only consume.
I think it is no accident that I come across you’re posting one day after I have been released from this, I’m never in this section of the forums.
Check out some of the Sacred Heart of Jesus web sites. I feel quite positive for you now cause I’ve walked that path, I know it’s tough, but everything that is tough ends up working for you.
It’s not the easy times that express or reveal our innermost feelings or intentions to God or neighbor it is the hardest times.
I think you need to take a step back and stop looking at yourself in such a negative fashion. You are a creation of God and therefore have good qualities. It is just a matter of you using what the Lord has provided you.
Looking at your profile, I can see you have a devotion to St. Gemma and therefore you should use her as an example of how to lead your life. Consider her suffering and reflect upon it. Remember, the pain you feel is only that of the temporal world. Take that sadness you feel and offer to God. Ponder the fact that the Lord gave you life as a gift. Your gift to Him is what you do with that life.
It is understandable that you may feel a degree of loneliness, but visiting a prostitute for sex will not fulfill those needs, in fact, it will leave you more empty and in a state of mortal sin. You are an upstanding citizen by your own words and attend Mass regularly so you already know this. You don’t need me to tell you. Perhaps you are striving for relationships in the wrong fashion, look for friends, people of common interest and things like intimacy will come in their own due time if the Lord wills it. However, sometimes we are called to higher things and we must face temptations, obstacles, or other things to get closer to God or do His will.
Perhaps you should consult with your parish priest or any member of the clergy whom you feel comfortable with, as I am sure they could give you guidance and support in the trials you face.
no the sex industry is thriving because of men who have little or no self esteem, do not truly believe and follow the tenets of their faith, do not worship with real love of God, treat women with no respect and consider them nothing more than objects of pleasure, are merely superficially polite, and have taken few constructive steps for healthy mature social interaction with the opposite sex.
No one who fits your description would consider a prostitute for one second.
someone who fits your description would be directing his energies to become the best man he can be on all levels of life–vocation, career, service, friendship, maturity, self-discipline, all the virtues, and most of all his spiritual life. He would be developing mature friendships with persons of both sexes and all ages, using his spare time to build up these relationsships, and he would be serving the Church, his community and God’s poor.
he would as he grows in maturity also come to realize that life without sex is not a sentence it is a gift, for those who are called to it.
If you aren’t happy with yourself now, when you’re single, then you’re not going to he happy when you have a girlfriend.
So very true. Letting your happieness be completely dependent upon another person is a recipe for disaster and more dissapointment. Not to mention its unfair to the other person. Even if you found that special someone, the relationship would not last if that someone got the message your being happy relys totally on them. In order to get into a healthy relationship you need to first be happy with yourself.
After getting a divorce (though not an annulment), I decided God was more important than having a man around the house, so celibate and chaste I am. However, I do not have a calling to the religious life, although for a time I thought I did. Being chaste is no big deal for me and I kind of prefer it. I think it’s the way God made me, and I’m happy for it. It took a while to get used to, though… let me tell you! :o
I guess what I’m saying is that you don’t have to be called to the religious life to be happy being celibate. But yes, being celibate does help quite a bit with your attention to God. I think I love the Lord so much more by staying single without that sort of temptation and worry.
I think you’re dealing with the law of attraction. You could be the nicest guy in the world but if you lack physical attractiveness, it’s gonna be hard finding a mate. Physical attractiveness is not the only thing (of course) women look for in men but it does help you get your foot in the door so they can then notice your other good qualities. So instead of feeling helpless there are practical things you can do to improve your chances of attracting the opposite sex. If you’re overweight, slim down through proper eating and aerobic exercise. Also, lift weights. Afterall, girls like muscles! Wear nice clothes and practice good hygenie. Join a couples match program or ask a girl you like out on a date. You see what I’m saying? You have to be the one to take concrete action. If I want something, I go through the steps and effort necessary to help make that dream a reality. It doesn’t guarentee success of course but it will improve your odds of success and you’ll be the one in control of your life instead of passively waiting. Don’t assume you can’t have a girlfriend without first trying to do all you can by your own initiative to make your dream of companionship happen.
Heard there is now an FDA procedure that can kill a man’s sex drive using a laser. I do not know what it is called or even if the poster awas joking or not, but if you can not get a date anytime soon you should think about it.
- Poem by Rudyard Kipling! *
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one leap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start againt at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And - which is more - you’ll be a Man my son!