What’s even more killer is when the cycle has yet to return. We’re at 10+ months right now and well, it’s rough. We’ve got the alarm set and I make sure the thermometer is right next to the bed… but that’s all I can do. She enters the temps into her app and does observations… and again, that’s all I can do. The only positive is that baby sleeps through the night just fine so there’s nothing wacky about the temps.
But temps mean nothing when you have no idea if the spike is coming in a few days or a few months. Cycles didn’t return last time around until 14 months.
To your point, yeah the best thing a man can do here is be understanding, suck it up and also realize it’s probably no picnic for his wife either. And I don’t just mean the breastfeeding and the previous experience of pregnancy… I mean the less frequent physical intimacy as well! I’ve helped with understanding the methods and pointing out how the basic infertile pattern works and the rules associated, but again, that’s all you can do when cycles have not returned.
I can understand the OP’s frustration… and her husband’s frustration. I think a sober, level-headed talk is in order. And honestly, I think the OP should say “Yes, this is frustrating because I want you too!” I know it doesn’t address the physical needs, but my wife telling me that she “misses” me does help tremendously with my emotional needs. I’m very much a “touch” person and associate physical intimacy, especially sex, with feeling that I’m loved and wanted. So while the frequency is way down in this transition period, I think that upping the “I miss you” type talk and other touching could help. I mean, it could also lead to increased frustration too so your mileage may vary. But I know in my own experience, I can better deal with the physical frustration if I know that my wife still very much desires me, reinforces that our infrequency is beyond her control, and that she’s annoyed by it too.